Two years

It has been two years since I had my fourth ITP relapse. I can't believe how fast time flew by. My relapse came after a month of never ending health crises ranging from UTI to food poisoning. I guess I should have seen it coming with the stress of the previous year and all. But nonetheless, I was never completely prepared.

Now two years later I'm ALMOST back to normal. I look normal. My platelet count has been normal for more than a year already. But I'm still under medication. I still go to the doctor every month to have my blood tested and platelets monitored. Tonight I got quite a scare when a cut would not heal. I cut my finger early this morning and until now, it continues to bleed intermitently.

Wednesday's blood test is a big test for me. It will decide my fate with my meds. A good platelet count would mean I'm on track for remission again and my meds will be lowered and eventually tapered off. Sana..

the night before

Videoke and drinking session with 3 great friends made EDSA 2005 a good holiday. Never have I seen peter and aldwin sing so much in one night. hahaha. It was fun bonding with great friends. Nakikita ang mga hidden talents of people.

Winning moments? Aldwin's magic tricks and "tubig ba to?" incident.. Ella's one hour telebabad... Peter's renditions of earth wind and fire songs that earned him best songer of the night... and my luck at random song selections that included "lodi" and "santa clause is coming to town."

pizza, beer, videoke and friends... great combination

p10

I just had a small reunion dinner/get together with some of my oldest and dearest friends. The P10 girls got together tonight-- 6 of us that is. I realized that we have been friends for over 20 years now. Some of them were my classmates since prep. We realized tonight how were finally growing up. Before when you serve food on the table, it will be gone in no time. Today, we barely made a dent to or feast of isaw, pasta, barbecue, mango cream pie, salad and choco mallow pie. And the ultimate sign of growing up? You start taking out food to go as "pasalubong" for husbands, boyfriends and other family members. =)

We reminisced about memories of growing up and how weve managed to keep our sanities and friendships intact through the years. We took never ending pictures (me and my body parts; jai the ever camera shy;divina the reluctant cream pie model;tetet's isaw poses;kim's forever photographer ako smile; and mariel's never ending self poses on my cellphone's camera for mms). It was great being with the girls again ( ay i forgot-- may boy pala-- the honorary p10 member jethro who mesmerized "martha" and gained a new soulmate)

Too many things to be grateful for--Mariel's new love, tetet's never ending tradition (hmmm..sana last na to), jai's new job, and so much more. I do wish we could have more of these things. And sana next time we finally push through with all our plans--especially kim's never ending plan (but never done) to play badminton.

Friends forever

another friday and olie's newest adventures

Another friday, another color coding day. finally gotten used to waking up early and rushing to beat the 7am mmda deadline. Three more weeks of like this and its FREEDOM!!!Yahoo!!!

My cat Oliver was injured the other day-- he fought with some neighborhood cats. Ayun, limping tuloy. Kawawa. He does have a knack for getting you to pity him. The other night, he was able to cajole my mom into letting him sleep in the aircon room with us instead of being sent out to his bed in the terrace. My mom said he looked so pitiful that she couldnt bear to let him sleep in the heat. Sosyal na pusa! He woke me up at 3am because he needed to go out to his potty. I'm proud to say, my baby is well toilet trained. He can be overly makulit at times but he is quite intelligent. He is also super matakaw. Last friday, he downed 3 plates of pancit in one sitting. My sister fears that Olie will become a diabetic or die from obesity one day.

finally

the long wait is finally over. the 7th try proved to be the lucky number =) winning my first tournament last night was perhaps the best valentine gift ever. hahaha. better than any roses or flowers combined.

go team pink!!!

aching bones, sore muscles

Played Badminton for 6.5 hours yesterday. I played a total of 17 games in all... I woke up this morning feeling as if a bulldozer ran over me. =)

Certified Badminton addict according to partner ces. =) even the weevens is speechless. hahaha. didnt know how i lasted that long yesterday. To think I even played for 5 hours friday.

Sana we ca just play for our grades. I think I have a better chance at that. hahahaha

Photofinish

Made it to class just in time.. For a moment there I thought I would have a heart attack. Just when I was about to print the most important paper of my life (a.k.a chapter 1 of my dissertation), my computer hangged and rebooted by itself. I wanted to scream and die. Fortunately, I was able to save my work a few minutes before saving my life from sure death. =) After printing, I found myself rushing through Balara traffic (which unfortunately was baaaaaadd). Somehow people seemed to be driving particularly slow today.

15 minutes before the deadline I zooming my way across the Mcdonalds intersection and inside the ADMU campus. Now if only I could find parking.. SS parking was completely full leaving me no choice but to park in the middle of the parking area (bahala na si batman!) and make a run for it. So I gave it my Forrest Gump run and flew as quickly as I can.

I submitted my paper at exactly 11:18 am. Been awake since 2am and just downed a whole pack of Cadbury chocettes. Sugar rush.

Crammers rule!

remembering

He never even remembered my birthday. Or maybe he chose to forget. I didnt think it would matter much to me. But I guess it does. For all that has happened I dont think I deserved to be forgotten.

Still I want to thank him.

Thank you for giving me life.

And I will also say goodbye

february tradition

I think i started a new tradition for feb-- a tradition that i dont want to repeat ever... for the past three years ive been bringing people to the ER on feb. It started with me back in 2003, then my friend eugene last year who dislocated his shoulder. And this year it was my mom who fractured her right shoulder after a fall. What a way to celebrate ones birthday--- staying in the ER of PGH. Lacking sleep and with barely no time to even wash my face, we drove to PGH where we spent the next 5 hours going through xrays, doctors and paperwork. Fortunately, it was not too serious. My mom just have to wear a sling for the next couple of weeks.

sana next year wala na.

birthday girl with friends
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birthday wishes

I turned 28 today. and last night i got to celebrate the start of my 28th year with 18 great friends and family. it was a blast and even if i was dead tired from cooking for everyone, i enjoyed every minute of it.

My wish for my birthday? Secret! hahahaha. Otherwise it won't come true. But for those who truly know me,they know what it has always been.

When I think of last night I think of one thing-- my favorite quote from Margaret Atwood and Alias grace. ..And there we were, in a kind of harmony; andthe evening was so beautiful, that it made apain in my heart, as when you cannot tell whether you are happy or sad; and I thought that if I could have a wish, it would be that nothing would ever change, and we could stay that way forever...

To everyone who made the past 27 years a reality... and who made life worth living for for me, thanks. To those who made it last night (ella, peter, aldwin, lyzet, lady, banjo, beth, erwin,denden, eugene, oliver, partner ces, weevens, addictus joven, nikki, mardet, fr. ben, and tito joey) SALAMAT. To those who missed it, thanks still for remembering me.

Wilkins..in memoriam

I lost a baby late last night (well not exactly a baby, but an almost 3 year old cat). And its all my fault. We named him Wilkins (after the distilled water) but for some reason my mom kept calling him Twinkle. Over the years we have been continuously debating in the house what name to call him. My sister and I insist on Wilkins. After all there's nothing twinkly about him-- he's a black cat and was so "masungit" that in the three years he was with us, I never had a chance to pet him. But Twinkle or Wilkins was like a dimple-- a deformity that you learn to love or a pimple that never goes away until you learn to live with it. For all his kasungitan, he was extremely loyal.

And his loyalty caused him his life.

I accidentally ran over Twinkle last night. Omigod! He came barging towards my car as I was parking in our garage. He would do it everytime I go home as if welcoming me back. But last night for some reason, he forgot to step aside. He was usually quick with his reflexes but last night he didnt step away. When I felt a bump in the car, I immediately stopped and knew that something was terribly wrong. And true enough our twinkle was down.

I felt so bad that I frantically called my sister who was soundly sleeping at her condo by then. The first words I spoke were, Omigod! I murdered Wilkins.

Wilkins has no breed-- he's not even truly ours. He's one of the neighborhood cats (or pusang kalye) that we sort of adopted by virtue of feeding them. He belongs to the Mandirigma family (because the entire family is full of masungit cats). His mom Patricia was the classic cat diva.. She treated us as if we were her pets and not vice versa. She died after 8 years of being with us-- old age. In her entire stay with us, she only allowed me to pet her once (during a time when she caught a virus and lost all her hair and nearly died). Wilkins was her perfect male counterpart. But lately we noticed that he's becoming a bit sweeter. There was a time (about two weeks ago) that he suddenly touched my leg and walked by it several times. That's the closest thing to a bonding session that we'll ever have.

Wilkins has two siblings-- Hospicia (hospy) and Mozart (Mochie). And one neice (Froda). Along with my baby Oliver, I now have four cats left- along with about 3 other pusacals that sometimes wander to our house to eat.

My mom said siguro his mission on earth is done already. There's also a belief that our pets would take on the bad things that are supposed to happen to us. Sort of like a sacrifice. Still, I would have wanted his life to end in a less violent way.

When I went out of my house this morning, I missed the black pudgy thing that used to sleep on top of car (causing all those scratches on the hood).

Sorry twinkle.tita jaime failed. Goodbye wilkins.

I still love fridays...

Waking up at 5am on anyday is pure torture. Try doing it on a friday. Fridays are supposed to mark the end of a long week. Well not for me.. Fridays mean the start of a long weekend ahead. But what makes fridays torture these days is MMDA. Color Coding. Yep! Try and be color coded on a gimik night and you'll understand what I am talking about.Imagine not being able to get out until 7pm when you want to meet friends in far areas for dinner. Not to mention the fact that I have an early class and therefore I have to get up way way before the sun is even up to avoid the traffic caused by the five schools that I have to pass by from my house to work.

4 fridays to go. Can't wait =)

just friends

Late last night a girlfriend of mine sent me a message of how being just "a friend" has been a great disservice to herself through the years. "I am just a friend, that's all I'll ever be" says a classic song from the movies. Cheesy but to a lot of people it makes sense. And to many of us, its so true.

In the art of falling in love, one often wonders how come there are so many dense people out there? People who seem not to notice how they keep on looking for someone whose always been there with them all along. Funny isn't it? We all look for the one, yet when the one does show up, more often than not, we don't even recognize the person. And it makes me wonder, are people really that dense?!

My friend's message made me think of the old days. And it reminded me of my own pathetic stories (hahaha) of failed attempts and icky moments. I laugh at them now. But I remember those times when I too cried over some person because "I was just a friend." But those are part of the past-- beautiful memories that should be just left like that--memories.

Lovelives come and go but friendships last forever. So perhaps being "just a friend" isnt exactly bad (Rationalization! hahaha). One thing I know that holds true for me is that if you're a friend-- even just a friend, you will always be a friend. And friends do not abandon each other just because the other do not see you the way you want to be seen. I would never trade my friends for the world. Without them life would simply be too dull (at maiiwan ako kina grand diva magisa! oh no!)

Sana kasi simple na lang ang buhay. Wish ko lang. =P

Kulang lang siguro ako sa tulog... =P

to be older...

In less than a week, i will be one year older. Wiser? I have no idea. Hope so.

There are many things I am grateful for for the past twenty seven years-- great friends, great adventures, even moments of grief. Sure there were really sad days, but there were great ones as well. And as one gets older (and wiser :)) one stops to learn to appreciate the things that are there and not the things that are not there.

things that makes this 27 year life memorable

1. great friends-- everyone who made life memorable for me
2. my cats-- oliver (bacatelli amoy amoy), datu sylvester kamlon javert, fern gully, siomai, patricia, hospy, wilkins, mozart, frodo, siopao, angel, paula, bambam, polkie dots, chabelita, cocaine, and all the others i might have forgotten through the years.
3. coach
4. badminton-- finally learning a sport and loving it
5. archery-- even if it was a short stint, it was fun while it lasted
6. UP days-- the best!
7. Al, paulette, tamie, bubba, eleisha and the rest of my gilkerson family
8. ella and our foodtrips-- who could forget our lunchouts to all those far flung places!
9. camping at caliraya-- and ang cellphone ni aldwin na nalunod
10. cebu bohol adventure
11. boracay plane ride
12. 4:30 pm merienda breaks with weevens, cha, oliver and maria ces
13. grand diva, curlettes, pearly shells, kc and bebs, hello kitty-- just naming them makes life a bliss. hahaha
14. greatness and kikay
15. isaw and fishballs of UP Campus
16. mang jimmy's tapa mix
17. leching's chicken mami and sharksfin siomai
18. Espanya train adventure with vesper-- true evidence of grace under pressure!
19. nearly drowning in the flash flood with obeng along timog
20. starbucks-- where great friends and great memories are formed and made!
21. p10-- friends forever
22. my 300plus book collection
23. cellphones
24. the heartbreaks, the tears, the bwisets and failures in life-- if they cant break you, they'll make you stronger
25. diving in the caves of bohol (and not knowing how to swim)
26. going on a 10 year remission from ITP-- If it can be done once, it can be done again
27. macau adventures in 2004 and finally eating in a true chinese resto in china.

a poem once said, "after a while you learn...."

yes. i have learned so much in the course of the past 27 years.

i learned that happiness in life is not measured with what you have and how much you are given.. but rather by the things you did to make every moment count.

fridays

I used to love Fridays a lot. It meant the end of the long work week (or in my case, a long school week). Now, I still like Fridays but not as much. It's quite hard to get up early in the morning at 5am just to beat MMDA's color coding and get to ateneo by 7am. Before friday meant no more classes the next day. This sem it means the beggining of a long weekend of school.

I still like fridays though. On a friday, people smile more, people are more relaxed. I just wish the good ol fridays are back- when i didnt have to get up early and just laze around my bed.

15 more weeks to go.

back to reality

It was barely two weeks ago when vacation started and now, its back to reality again. Argghhh!!! Bitin! Mind you I do love going to school but when you just went through one hell of a semester, a two week break feels like it was no break at all... Okay enough of the whining... I'll just think positive thoughts... Sige na nga.. things I will look forward to this semester...

1. 12 noon classes (I don't have to get up early)
2. Badminton in between work and school (lots of them)
3. Impromptu gimiks with Ella (we never seem to be able to this on vacations)
4. Christmas and shopping for Christmas gifts
5. Palawan Adventure 2005 (the preparation begins!)
6. Merienda in the afternoons with Weevens, Ma. Ces, and Oliver
7. Friday color coding (yeah right!)
8. No more evening classes (except when I have to be driver for mom)
9. Planning for my birthday (not that I want to hasten getting older)
10. Teaching a new course
11. Seeing my students (the nice ones!)
12. Free email and internet access at work
13. New cubiclemate (Mareng Reg!!!)
14. Teaching psy testing all over again
15. Only 6 units in academic load this sem (my last 6! hooray!!)

and lots more...

final exams and cramming

One more week and all these is over and done with-- finals. I can't wait. It feels like a never ending torture session and we don't even try to excel on anything anymore-- just surviving is considered a mean feat. If I am still alive after next week, I am the happiest person in the world.

random thoughts

Have you ever had a moment in your life when happiness seems to be within your grasp yet you are so afraid to take it? Not because you don't want it but you are scared shit that it will disappear. It's like wishing you could bottle the moment and keep it that way forever. And you keep hoping that maybe this time it will really be the happy ending you've always been dreaming of.

*******
And there we were, in a kind of harmony; andthe evening was so beautiful, that it made apain in my heart, as when you cannot tellwhether you are happy or sad; and I thoughtthat if I could have a wish, it would be that nothingwould ever change, and we could stay that wayforever...

-Margaret Atwood "Alias Grace"