Itago niyo na lamang ako sa pangalang...Hazer

Magsusulat ako sa tagalog para sa "entry" na ito. Wala lang. Para maiba lang ang istyle ng kwento. Saka mas masaya siyang ikwento sa wika natin. So ano ba ang kwento? Excited ka naman masyado.. o sya sige. eto na siya.

Nagpareserve ako sa Restoran King Crab kahapon para sa hapunan ng aking mga kaopisina at kaibigan. Huling hirit bago muling maglakbay si bossing (sabi ni atebillie yan). So yun nga, tumawag ako, isang tsekwa ang nakasagot. Sabi ko, "can i make a reservation for dinner later? 6 persons." (with matching British accent pa). Tinanong niya kung kanino ipapangalan at sabi ko, "Dr. Hazel Ramos" Pinaspelling pa niya sa kin kaya kahit hirap na hirap akong isipin ang A-B-K-D, dahan dahan kong binigkas (again with Matching British accent and spelling) "Haytch- Ei- Zed-E-L, R-A-EM-O-ES" Sabi nung babae, "okay see you later!"

So ok na diba.. Fast forward na tayo sa oras ng kainan.. Gutom na gutom naming binagtas ang Kelana Jaya LRT line at naglakad patawid ng hiway (para kaming naglalakad patungo sa dulo ng bahaghari). Pagdating sa restoran (ganyan ang spelling dito) eh tinanong ako nung receptionist "do you have reservations?" Buong gilas kong sinagot, ng "Yes, under Dr. Hazel Ramos." Parang di niya ako naintindihan so pinakita na lang niya sa kin ang listahan, wala ang pangalan ko, pero may isang kahawig.. Hmm.. inisip ko, ako ba ito? siguro naman.. Di ko na kinontra at since gutom na ako, sabi ko na "that's it pancit." Tinuro niya ako patungo sa isang malaking lamesa sa may dulo ng kwarto. Pagdating sa aming hapagkainan, may malaking papel (cartolina na pinutol upang maging isang nameplate) na may pangalang nakasulat.



Ayos. Binigyan ako ng panibagong pangalan. In the feyrness, andun ang doctor. At least tumama dun diba? Sayang naman ang anim na taon ko sa sa grad school kung di man lang magagamit minsan minsan ang aking titulo (kahit na sa restoran lamang). Yung Hazer pwede na din.. sounds like naman.Parang binigkas ni Batman ang "Hazel" (Para sa mga nakapanood ng The Dark Knight, napansin niyo ba na nagiging nasal si Batman pag siya ay Batman at di na si Bruce Wayne? Siguro naiipit ng costume niya ang ilong niya no?) Pero yung Loros? hmm.. sang planeta galing yun? Maingay ako tulad ng isang loro (di ako nagpapanggap na shy tulad nina Shyboy 1 at Shyboy 2) pero malayo naman ata sa Ramos ang Loros (inispelling ko pa diba?). Hmm.. baka naman yun ang apelyido ng aking soulmate? Nagkita na ang aming pangalan pero kami hindi pa? (naligaw na naman siya?! Oh gosh pulgash, he desperately needs Mapking)

Mali man ang pangalan ko, masasabi ko pa ding, panalo ang Restoran King Crab (para sa inyong impormasyon, may branch din sila sa Johor kung nalalapitan kayo masyado sa Petaling Jaya Branch). Ang sarap ng Crabs (syempre Restoran King Crab nga eh!) pati na ang steamed fish, Tofu with mushrooms and itlog na pula, Chicken in dried chili (na may pinya huhuhu.. kaya pinasa ko ke shyboy 2 ang manok), mixed veggies (para healthY) at nasi puti (kanin po). Kahit na sobrang sakit ng tiyan ko (food poisoning ang drama ko the whole day), kain pa din (crabs to noh, walang sakit sakit ng tiyan dito). Salamat sa aking drug dealer (este Mobile Mercury Drug pala) na dinalhan ako ng kremil s at gamot sa dyspepsia ("Baka naman dyspepsia yan!" wika ng ad sa pinas) ay nakakain ako ang malumanay. May second round pa. haha.

Matapos ang 2 oras ng paglamon, naubos din namin ang pagkain.. Parang dinaanan ng bagyo. Nagbayad kami (super sulit men!) at nagyosi break ang mga yosi boy and gel habang ang iba sa min ay namasyal sa aquarium ng crabs. Kelangan daw kasi naming humingi ng tawad sa mga kamag anak ng mga alimangong minurder ng kusinero para sa aming kasiyahan at magiwan ng aming mensaheng "sa susunod kayo naman ang kakainin namin"

Naglakad muli kami pabalik ng tren at umuwi na sa aming mga tahanan.

Ayan tapos na ang kwento. Ang hirap pala magtagalog. Shucks, its been so long (bwahahahaha)...

Dati call me stanley ang drama ko (mas mahabang kwento ito, saka kung gusto mo malaman, kelangan maging mega super duper overly close friend kita muna) pero ngayon,

itago niyo na lamang ako sa pangalang HAZER.

Frozen Delight

I now know how meat feels in the freezer. I'm in Chulan tower right now for our class on "Occupational Health and Safety Laws: An international perspective" and we have the whole floor to ourselves (all 5 of us). And its freezing like winter. I've already downed several cups of hot water that my tummy now feels like a hot water bag. My head is aching and I am shrivering. It's not helping my feverish feeling at all.

I don't really understand how come there's no darn thermostat control in this office building. It's either galit sa TNB (malaysian version of Meralco) ang mga tao dito or gusto nilang isimulate ang UK weather sa Nottingham Malaysia Campus. Even Angeli (whose from the UK) is already complaining.

Hmm... I wonder if i could request for a fireplace here. Para authentic na talaga ang winter theme namin. :D

Just for Today

And there we were, in a kind of harmony; and the evening was so beautiful, that it made a pain in my heart, as when you cannot tell whether you are happy or sad; and I thought that if I could have a wish, it would be that nothing would ever change, and we could stay that way forever...
-Margaret Atwood "Alias Grace"

Some things are worth remembering. Even if you can't say them.
An ordinary day turned extraordinary
One simple grace at a time.
Enough said.

Miss Universe Question

Student: What is the relation between these movies and our lectures?

Hazel: (thinking out loud)... wala gusto ko lang kayong torturin at papanoorin ng global warming.. We are talking about health after all and the challenges of developing policies for health and safety. With that comes a multitude of issues and questions such as those posed by the issue of global warming (what the heck.. wala akong maisip na iba.. pwede na ba?)

Student: Ok.

Hazel: (thinking out loud pa din)... yun lang! yun lang ang reaction mo..
Class Dismissed.

It wasn't my best moment today. Not only was I dead tired from the day long administrative but I was also suffering from a bad migraine. The cafeteria food did not help (Kelan pa naging chicken burger ang tasty bread?) nor the rains that made the entire building freezing. I wasn't really supposed to teach but unfortunately my colleague wasn't well. kaya ayun, nasabak muli ako.

Another adventure in a day in the life of a teacher..

Next question please

Falling from Grace

I did a Miriam Quiambao yesterday. I was walking with Angeli along Bukit Bintang when I lost my footing and tripped. I fell on the side of the road right in front of the JW Marriot Hotel/Starhill galery. I immediately got up and walked away as if nothing happened. haha. I didnt even check for broken bones. My only concern was if anyone around was laughing. hahaha.

To my credit Angeli said I did fell gracefully. I think I've mastered the art of slipping/falling thanks to badminton that the moment I knew I was falling I braced the fall to minimize damage to my bones. Unfortunately my knees graced the hard cement and caused two peso size bruises to appear.

For several minutes, I felt like I was five years old again to the time I fell flat on the on ground while chasing after a basketball rolling down the street where we lived. I came home bleeding on both knees and receiving a long sermon from my mom in the process. Now 26 years later, I was still my clumsy self. Only this time I was wearing heels.

When we got to the restaurant, my knees were stinging. I finally found the guts to look at them and true enough there were bruises and cuts all over. I silently said a prayer of thanks for the minor bruises (it could have been worse you know) at the same time laughed at myself for the act of stupidity.

There's a saying that the reason why we fall is because we need to learn to stand up again. With every stumble, we get up and try once more. That's life. It's all about falling down and getting up, falling down ang getting up once again. ..And sometimes when we are lucky enough, someone will there waiting to catch us. Kaso mukhang naligaw ata siya.. di kasi gumamit ng mapking. hahaha.

Tiub

I was walking from KL Sentral to the Monorail station when a sign board in one of the stalls along the narrow pathway caught my eye-- Tiub 10RM. I thought to myself, what the heck is a "tiub?" I was thinking, there must be some new fad that is gaining popularity as there were a couple of signs that posted it. Then it hit me-- the store meant "Tube" or what we girls like to wear under see through blouses or as a standalone top. I was laughing all the way to the office and couldn't help but remember all those funny road signs that we have in manila. Meron din pala dito.. parang Iejept ni Manny.

All throughout the day whenever I wanted to laugh I would think about that small sign. It has been a really long day. I had my class for Org Development and Change, I prepared for my Law class tomorrow (yes, you heard it right folks, im teaching law... este Health and Safety Law), and even went to the Philippine embassy to get my OEC and driving license authenticated (na hinayupak na 96.25 RM..panalo! mas mahal pa sa actual license kong 247.50 lamang sa pinas).

The "tiub" reminds me of appreciating the simple stuff-- and the things that make life unique. After all, according to Jerry Maguire, "we live in a cynical cynical world." I mean despite the stress of work and cramming, I still had a relatively good day. I got to relearn strategic leadership from Peter Senge's point of view. I got to eat ruffles sour cream cheddar chips which is an absolute comfort junk food. I had a really nice lunch of bbq roasted chicken with shrimp dumplings. I managed to get my OEC without needing to queue up for a long time. And I managed to finish my lectures and readings for tomorrow so I could actually take time off to write this blog. After class I went out for dinner and ate my favorite club sandwich from DOME cafe which is a must try for anyone. And after a long chat with Angeli, I managed to get back home safe and sound.

See sometimes appreciating simple things really do change our perspective. Mali man ang ispelling at mali man ang pagkabigkas, pinaalala pa din nito na sa isang sulok ng kanilang mundo, may mga bagay na nabibili pa din sa maliit na halaga. Sa halagang 10 RM may bagong TIUB ka na.

And at the end of the day you'll realize that everything that happened made sense. That everything is part of the giant adventure called life. And you just have to learn to enjoy the ride.

The Return of the Other

The last time "the other"visited was several years back.I was still in Manila living a totally different life. I was very optimistic then that I welcomed the other's arrival with open arms. I thought at that time it was things will turn out differently. Unfortunately it didn't happen. Life had its way of changing course at the least expected moment. And so despite a heavy heart, I had to say goodbye. After all it wasn't something that I could hold on to. I held on to the good memories but I've learned to let go of the bad.

I learned about "the other" from my favorite author-- Paulo Coelho. Call it fear, insecurity or both. It usually comes after the moment of bliss. It arrives the moment you learn to admit that you care. You start feeling insecure and helpless, as if your heart is being torn into pieces for no reason at all.

When I left, the other left and stayed away. And though it meant having no fears, it also meant that a part of me died-- the part that remained hopeful about the mysteries of yet to come. I remained the dreamer that I was but part of me stopped believing in those dreams. The other was never meant to destroy us but rather to strengthen us and make us choose the right path to take. The other was sent for us to take that leap of faith-- to jump into the unknown and embrace whatever comes your way.

The other night I had a dream. I was watching a video and I was trying to make sense of the violence in the video. I told my friend who was there that I needed to understand--I needed to understand what happened so that I could keep my faith in people intact. I believe the dream was speaking to me about my own faith in people and how in the recent years my faith in people have wavered. Maybe I've grown a bit cynical or maybe I just went through so much that I needed to become wary. I don't really know.

But now "the other" has come back. I sensed it creeping slowly. And though I am scared, I feel a sense of bliss-- because with its return also meant that the part of me that died several years ago is coming back to life. And maybe little by little I am slowly going back to how I was before.

I am rambling again. And I dont really know why. Maybe its time to take that leap of faith. Or maybe I am just being me once more. :)

Twilight

It's been a while since a book kept my interest peaked that I forgot to stop reading until I was almost finished with it. Maan has been telling me to read the twilight trilogy since our long chat over 2 weeks ago. I couldn't find the books (particularly the first book) at first and I was actually resigned to just waiting until I get back to Manila in August to read them. Fortunately yesterday I managed to find a copy among the teen books section of MPH.

So in my effort to keep myself preoccupied during the education fair at KLCC today, I brought the book along. Not only did it keep me from sleeping, it actually kept me glued to the story of Edward and Isabella almost the entire time. By the time the fair closed at 6pm I was 3/4 done. I continued to read even while I walking towards the train station and while I was on the train until I arrived at my house in Sri Petaling. How I managed not to bump onto something or get run over was one for the record. hahaha.

The story is actually simple- its a love story between a human and a vampire. But the twists and turns along the way kept me on the edge of my seat and craving for more. I literally had to pull myself away from the book so that my eyes could rest and that I could play badminton. I'm down to the last 70 pages or so and I'm quite excited about the ending. Part of me doesnt want it to end and another part is excited to read the next book in the series-- New Moon.

Friendship Maan was right-- This book is not for those with tight schedules and those that need more than 8 hours of sleep a night. Because once you begin, there's no turning back.:)

Letting Go

Over lunch I told my friend that he shouldn't be too attached to things and that we should all learn to let go. How ironic that a few hours later I find myself pondering over the very same issue. I have this history with celphones that could fill the pages of a book entitled "A hundred and one ways to lose a phone." I thought I already managed to try every possible way of losing my phone (i.e. theft, forgetting where i hid it, crushing the lcd from the car door, etc). But no, I had to another today.

And so it goes this way-my phone of almost 2 years died of an untimely death this afternoon courtesy of the bottle opener key chain in my bag and the cross trainer in the gym. How it happened I do not know. And up until now I am still berrating myself for another act of stupidity that ranks highly on "jaime's blooper list"

It wasn't as devastating at first. I told myself, its just a phone. Let it go. It's not the end of the world... then I realized that it wasn't just the phone that died-- but all the stuff i placed inside it as well- particularly 21 saved messages that I keep close to my heart. They were messages from friends all over ranging from the usual hi's and hellos, to forward texts, and take cares. Simple stuff. But they mean the world to me.

Funny isnt it that my last entry was only a couple of hours ago and I wrote about Bliss and how finding it was simply magic. I think of that moment right now and realize that those memories are really really important because they keep us going in times like these.

ayan kasi sabi na wag magpapaka senti..

let go nga eh.

Bliss

Every now and then you find yourself in a place where everything is simple and life even for a short time, relieves itself of complications. It's a moment when things just fall into place and you realize that though you may not have everything you want, you have everything that you need. And somehow you wish that it could just stay that way forever.

That's Bliss. Pure and simple.

I saw Disney's Beauty and the Beast last night at the KLCC Plenary Hall. It was my first time to watch a musical here in KL and so I was very excited to watch this Tony awardwinning Broadway Musical brought to KL. The last major play I watched was Miss Saigon in Manila back in 2001 (with Lea playing Kim). I missed Mama Mia when I was in Hongkong back in 2004 so when I heard the news that a broadway musical was coming into town (the UK production), come hell or highwater I was determined to watch it.

Reg, Wilai, Jesse and I managed to secure tickets in the upper balcony (thanks to Wilai's 30% discount, it cost only 105 RM instead of 150). It was quite far from the stage but still close enough to see the faces of the characters. After all we didnt need to be upclose since we are all familiar with the story of Belle and the enchanted beast.

Though the story and songs were familiar, there was just something magical about watching a live action musical come to life infront of your very eyes. My favorite character was Lumierre who was so funny. Chip was as cute as ever. And true to form, Beast was still "cuter" when he was a beast instead of a Prince. The rest of the characters were funny and heartwarming. Even Gaston was lovable (talk about self esteem!) The highlight of the show was the "Be our Guest" number. But my favorite scene was when Beast let Belle go. Haay, how romantic. hahaha.

I was a bit disappointed though when they changed the scenes for the "Something there" number. It was one of my favorite part in the original cartoon (when Beast and Belle were playing in the snow). And of course no one could still beat the original singers, especially Angela Lansburry's version of the theme. Belle's golden dress looked better in cartoons. In real life it looked like a giant cake topper. hahaha.

I hated the audience members who were rudely texting and some were even taking pictures! Talk about poor theater etiquette. If you're going to just text the night away, why bother going to the theater at all.

The play ended at about 11pm. For almost 2 hours I was magically transported to a world different from mine--where candlesticks and napkins dance, clocks and wardrobes talk, and a beast could be tamed. It was worth every ringgit spent.

The last time I went hiking/camping was years ago when we went to Caliraya Lake in Laguna (the tent collapsed while we were sleeping during the night). So it was a welcomed retreat when Marissa invited me to join them in a day out to the Sungai Tekala Waterfalls in Semenyih.

The waterfalls was about 20minutes away from the nottingham campus. We hiked all the way to the highest possible falls in order to avoid the crowds which camped out in the lower grounds. The only problem though was that the toilets were down in the lower area. The group numbered about 12--mostly expat friends of marissa and mike. Jesse, Purna and me were the three Filipinos. Apart from the expats, we also had a cat in our midst (Marissa's pet Snooky) who enjoyed herself with all the attention that was showered upon her.

We had a potluck for lunch. We brought chicken adobo as our share. I also made some salsa since we had a lot of cherry tomatoes from Cameron Highlands. The place was nice even if the huts were mostly dillapidated and some of the changing rooms reeked with the stench of urine. I just felt a bit sad when I saw some of the "campers" littering. After all, such a beauty of nature shouldn't be treated so unkindly. The whole gang swam except for me. I didnt want to risk my ears again since I'm supposed to stay off swimming for 6 weeks.

Overall, it was worth the trip. For a mere RM1 as entrance fee, the place was a good place to relax. My advice to those who intend to go there-- stay away from the lower area and go up as high as you can through the forrest. And most of all-- bring your cameras!!

My litter sister all grown up

My baby sister (my only sister) is leaving for the US tomorrow to start her own adventure in life. She's doing her own version of grey's anatomy (hopefully minus all the dramas) by doing her residency in the US. I guess I've always known that this day would come but I felt sad anyway. This morning when I received her email saying she was leaving tomorrow, I thought she meant today. Her flight is at 2pm and it was already 12nn. So I dialed my mobile phone immediately hoping to catch her one last time to say goodbye. Turned out yahoo got the time stamps mixed up so I still had my chance to say goodby tonight via skype.

With the onset of technology I know communicating with her will be easy. But still, there's that slight sadness that I feel knowing that starting tomorrow my entire family will be spread all over the world. We wont have our usual dinner arguments anymore or our mini fights over who gets to control the remote while watching tv.

But still I am happy and proud. My baby sister is finally spreading her wings. She's finally following her dreams. She's finally getting her chance to show the world her "awesomeness"

Maktub.

Strawberries @ Cameron Highlands

The moment I saw the picture of the strawberry strudel in the Billboard, I was put on a trance. For a mere 6RM, you could actually taste a piece of heaven in three layers of flaky pastry with cream and fresh strawberries inside. YUMMY. The restaurant was called Strawberry Moments located at the center of Brinchang town in Cameron Highlands. From the name itself everything on the menu was strawberry based.

My travel buddies (Jay and Tina with the new addition Reg) and I went to spend the night in Cameron Highlands last May 24. We took a a tour package we picked out over the internet (Naging BFFs kami ni Mr. Tan at Mr. Thiru) and endured a 5 hour trip (one way) to eat the freshest strawberries and vegetables in Malaysia (not to mention see the biggest Tea Plantation in Southeast Asia).

The place was perfectly cool (19degrees) during the daytime that you won't even feel the sun's hot rays. We stayed at a hotel called Irish House. It was nice and clean and spacious enough to fit all four of us in one big room. It was also fairly close to the town centre so we could just walk around town free and easy.

We enjoyed the pasar malam where we shopped and ate till we drop. I tasted the sweetest corn in the world(I call it the two toned corn) and tried the weird looking but yummy deep fried mushrooms.

Our package included a tour of the city so we visited Cameron's famous sights-- The BOH tea estate, the butterfly park, the honey bee farm, the market square, the rose and orchid garden, the strawberry farm, and the chinese temple. It was hectic and tiring but the sites were magnificent.

Going back we endured another 5 hour bus ride (with a bunch of noisy girls who wouldnt stop talking and some "smelly passengers" to add flavor to the ride! hehehe). Reg downed two tablets of dramamine while I drowned myself with the songs saved in my ipod. It was a fun filled trip.

Another successful adventure from the travel buddies of KL.

Till the next adventure.

Dignity & Decorum and a Free Movie

We saw the ad in an issue of Today Newspaper in Campus-- free movie passes to the premier night of Made of Honour, a new movie starring Mcdreamy himself. Reg and I made a pact-- we'd go to the event but we wouldnt do anything extraordinary like run, sing, scream, etc. We would maintain dignity and decorum at all costs. Most importantly, it was going to be a top secret mission that would stay one if we were not successful.

It was one of those things that would be part the "things I to do before I die" like going to a fans day for a favorite artist (done that!) or riding a rollercoaster (hmmm..still thinking) or visit the eiffel tower (planning to..).

Anyway, so off we went to Pavillion Mall in KL which is about 60 kms away from our campus. We got there about 630pm and by then the line was about a hundred meters long. It looked doable so we lined up. 45 minutes later we were armed with our first movie passes to a free premier night. We had an extra ticket so we did a good deed by passing it on to a group of locals who lacked one ticket. Throughout the line I was silently praying that no one I know (esp the students) would recognize me. hehehe.

Afterwards we celebrated with a hearty meal at the Pancake House (yes! you heard it right! may pancake house na sa KL). I had my favorite Tacos and I tried the Tinapang Bangus (tinapang bangus! tinapang bangus! masarap at masustansya....tinapang bangus)

The movie was okay. A typical chick flick that would make the hopeless romantic say "sigh" an "aww." Mcdreamy delivered his dreaminess and the rest of the support cast were so funny. We had fun despite the fact that we were seated on third row with our heads almost in a horizontal position because the screen was right infront of us (but no complaints! after all libre ito!). My eyes hurt like hell afterwards and by the time we got home at 12mn, I was deadtired and my migraine was acting up.

All for the chance of watching a movie for free.

hahaha..

Crispy Pata, Sisig at Pakbet: New Adventures of the Food Fanatic

One hot sunday afternoon, the food fanatics travelled to the other end of the Kelana Jaya lrt line in a quaint little restaurant called Cagayan to sample a taste of home-- our much missed Crispy Pata, Sisig (with egg!) and pakbet. 

It was a artery clogging taste of heaven. Yummy! Worth every cholesterol and trans fat (or whatever fats) that will probably shorten my entire lifespan for a couple of hours or so. 

Met up with Jay and Tina at the Masjid Jamek LRT around 12nn and despite the heat of the sun, we trekked all the way to Bandar Utama to eat at the Pinoy restaurant. I was excited to eat my favorite Crispy pata which I have missed a lot.  Tina ordered sisig (which is another yummy dish) and just to add some semblance of health on the cholesterol laden dishes we ordered, we had some pakbet. 

There was just something about eating something very pinoy when you're in a foreign country. I guess it adds more "specialness" to the act of eating something seemingly ordinary. We gobbled everything as if there was no tomorrow. Galit galit muna.. There was nothing to complain about the place. It was truly authentic. And for almost an hour there, I thought that I was actually in Manila and not in Malaysia. I just wish they had a honest to goodness authentic pinoy halohalo. I miss that. Kahit na yung chowking version lang.. But syempre the best pa din yung sa tabi ng kalye.. homemade.. with all the germs and bacteria. haha.

After our hearty lunch we walked around a bit and did some window shopping. We then transferred over to nearby 1 utama where I finally managed to find my long searched size of crocs! After almost 2 years of searching I finally managed to find a size for me. Tina and I bought matching pairs. Unfortunately Jay didn't have a size in the design he liked. We were still full but we craved for some Mcdonald's Sundae for dessert so we searched for Mcdo and I had my craving for chocolate sundae filled. 

It was one long day. Going home we got stuck in the LRT station for about 15 minutes. The train just stopped and refused to budge. It was raining heavily so there must have been some technical glitch somewhere. It didn't dampen our spirits though. We were just simply too happy to spoil our day. I was excited to try on my new crocs. Tina couldn't wait anymore, she wore it as soon as she bought it. 

I got home barely having enough time to dress up for badminton. I had to burn the fats off so I was quite excited to play. I played 3 sets before I retired for the night. 

 Another food adventure... Another food craving satisfied..Onto  the next one...

***

ella wish ko andito ka.. para me kadamay ako sa king new diet--eating diet! haha ;)

Words of Wisdom..(Repost from Jean Pierre)

If the time comes that you are not already sure where you stand in someone’s life, it’s best to leave things behind so that if they drop you off, it will be easier to forget them. Don’t waste time waiting for nothing; when efforts are not recognized, it’s best to ust give things up. You’ve done your part, let them do theirs…

… though it’s hard maybe it's the right thing to do...

From my former students' Eunice and Jean Pierre. 

No further explanations needed. I think the words say it all.. 

Giving up is not necessarily a bad thing. It simply means you're giving yourself the chance to start fresh...all over again...

The Measure of Happiness

... laughing out load while having your haircut.

... eating your favorite food without care for calories

... petting polie while he blissfully sleeps in my lap

... finding charsiew pork in the middle of pasar malam

... travelling close to 60kms just to eat lunch 

... seeing the world's beautiful beaches

... Reading a well written essay by one of my students

... setting up my new WIFI router and not destroying it

... playing a good game of badminton

... eating butter prawns 

... Finding clover at Mercato and Nagaraya at Sogo (pinoy food junkie!)

... tocino on a lazy sunday afternoon

... planning my next travel gimik

... having great songs on ipod

... learning to use my new camera

... taking a great picture

... watching a good movie

... having a nice chat

... getting to know someone

... talking to ella

... talking to my mom and sister

... finding a good book

... spending time with the ones who matter

And there we were, in a kind of harmony; and the evening was so beautiful, that it made a pain in my heart, as when you cannot tell whether you are happy or sad; and I thoughtthat if I could have a wish, it would be that nothing would ever change, and we could stay that way forever... -Margaret Atwood "Alias Grace" 

Does Heaven or Hell Exist?

A friend asked me this question while munching through Mcdonald's french fries and chicken nuggets one lunch time. I've always believed in heaven and hell and I think all of us do in a way. But did we ever wonder what do they look like? A lot of movies have asked the question like Robin Williams' "What dreams may come?" or Meryl Streep's "Judgment City." 

I gave my friend a weird answer. I think I said I don't really know. But I'd like to believe they do. And if they do exist I'd like to believe that all of us will end up in heaven because after all God loves us (in the words of comedian George Carlin, "he loves you!"). Seriously, I'd like to believe that everyone has a place in heaven. 

So what about hell? I don't know. But what I do know is that if I ever end up there, I'd make it the happiest place for me. 

After all happiness is a choice right?

Steamboat Night

Always in search of great food finds, my friends and I went on another food adventure last night despite my being ill and the rains that threatened to dampen our day. We went to Sunway Pyramid and ate at the Steamboat place (I never got to really jot down the name!) across the mall near mcdonald's. For a mere 18RM each, we ate the prawns and other streamboat favorites that we could stuff ourselves with. 

Jay, Tina, Jesse and I arrived about 5 minutes to 5pm (the official opening of the place). Jay was right when he said we had to be there early. By 6pm the place was packed with a long queue waiting outside for the next vacant table. We sat near the buffet table and was immediately started off to my first steamboat adventure by the waiter. We had half chicken soup and half tomyam soup for the steamboat. I basically just took as much prawns and shrimps I could eat. That was it. haha. I tried some of the fish and squid balls and even tried the mini lobsters but I was in prawn heaven most of the time. 

I tried their famous chicken wings which literally flew off the buffet table the minute it was laid there by the servers. Jay had to fight his way through the small crowd to get our much awaited chicken wings. It was worth it though-- it reminded me a bit of Don Henrico's buffalo wings (which I love in Manila). 

After gobbling all those seafood, veggies and meat, we ended the dinner feast with endless scoops of ice cream (I had mango, strawberry and chocolate) topped with coffee jelly. Yummy. I could barely walk out of the restaurant and was burping the whole night long. By the time we all landed at Endah villa, we were all sleepy. hehe. Jesse managed to play badminton (to work off the calories daw) but the three of us just basically sat down and relaxed. 

great food, good company, lots of laughter, and more great food.. what more could one ask for?

A little unwell

There is a saying that "when it rains, it pours." I think the saying goes the same way with respect to my health. I don't usually get sick but when I get sick it really pours. Since coming back from Redang I've been to the doctor three times already. And it looks like I'm going again tomorrow. My ear is terribly painful. Two days ago it was the flu. The week before that it was my ear again. 

It is during these moments that I miss home the most. In manila if I get sick, the doctor is just one room away. Here I have to plan how to get to the hospital. And most of the time I have to wait for at least a day. 

I just wish I could feel better tomorrow morning

143444 (The Pulau Redang Adventure)

This is not an entry about love-- it doesn't even closely resemble anything about love. I promise you I won’t write anything about people holding hands with matching “pa sway sway pa!” It's not an entry about romantic trysts and lovebirds dating.

But why the famous "numbers" (plus one that is)? 143444 was the vault combination in our room at the laguna redang resort in pulau redang where I spent 3 days and 2 nights last March 29 till the 31'st. The trip was originally set for the end of Feb but unfortunately the weather was not permitting hence the delay.

We left for Kuala Terrangannu Friday night. I felt as if I was on the amazing race since I was coming from work at 9pm and the bus was leaving at 10pm. True to form I had a classic "hazel" blooper moment when my thing just fell out of my bag while running from the monorail to the LRT station in Titiwangsa where Jay and Tina were waiting for me. Afterwards we met Wilai at the PWTC bus station where our journey was set to begin. The bus took 7 hours. We had a quick breakfast at KT (nasi lemak and teh o ice limau) while waiting for the Merang Jetty port to open then afterwards we took a 1 hour boat ride from the jetty to the resort.

12 hours after our journey started we finally made it to Pulau Redang. The heat was scorching hot but the beach was so inviting. After a quick freshening up in our fully airconditioned room, we trekked to the buffet hall where we pigged out on local and western dishes. I enjoyed the beef and lamb dishes and the roasted chicken was also great. After lunch we went back to the room to dress up for our first trip to see-- the open water snorkeling.

Snorekling in the open water was such a wonderful experience. The coral reef was amazing and the fishes were a sight to look at. I've never seen so many colorful fishes in my life. The fishes were so friendly that you need to only submerge your head in the water and they will actually come to you. We fed the fishes with some bread and enjoyed the cool and clean water. One hour later we headed back to the resort to swim in the pool.

While waiting for Tina and Wilai to shower Jay and I enjoyed a cool beer by the beach. We met the pinoy bartender and a couple of other pinoy resort personnel. Afterwards the four of us headed off to dinner-- buffet number 2. This time they had the roasted beef and man was it good! After dinner the four of us went back to the room and drank the mango rum I brought all the way from the Philippines. I guess it was the fatigue of travelling and swimming that after 4 shots I was sleeping already.

I woke up really early the next day-- 7:00am which is considered still very dark in malaysian time zones. Jay was about to leave for his sunrise photo session so I quickly got dressed and followed him. I walked along the shoreline while watching the sun rise. It reminded of a previous blog entry I made-- the things I'd do if i had 24 hours left to live. Now I'm glad I didnt have to wait till that day came to watch the sunrise. There were a number of early birds--couples and photo buffs in the beach area. Willai said I was easy to spot because I was all by myself playing by the water. I didn't feel alone though. It was just pure bliss. One doesn't get this chance to experience one of nature's miracles too often.

After breakfast we went for a swim in the waters. Jay and I taught Willai to swim (funny, i don't know how to myself hehe). Tina on the other hand decided to go for a walk in the beach. Willai and I had the time of our lives gazing at the hunks that seem to magically appear everywhere in the beach. haha. We thought of nica and how he would be so happy to be there (although he did say he was happy to be back in KL with Roby. hehe)

By 12 noon we were too hungry to swim. We went up to the buffet hall again (its my favorite place in the resort) to eat lunch. The sun was very hot already so we decided to hide for a few hours. I had a short siesta before waking up for our Marine park trip.

The marine park was the island's protected area for sea creatures. About 15 minutes away from the resort, we were taken there by the resort's boats. We fed the fishes and marvelled at their beauty and number. I've never seen so many fishes in one area in my life! There were fishes of all colors-- blue, green, combinations of gold and black, white and black, blue and green, etc. I loved watching the schools of fishes roam around searching for bread crumbs brought by the tourists.

After getting back to the resort, Willai and I went to the resort's shop to buy conditioner. I also bought some souvenirs for myself. After showering, Jay, tina and I went for a walk along the other end of the island on top of the rock formations. We took some majestic pics (see Jay’s flickr site for more of these—http://www.flickr.com/gidiyap_padingdong). Willai joined us a little later and afterwards the four of us headed to the BBQ buffet where I had the best beef bbq (ok, it’s the second best next to Bala’s cooking).

We spent our last evening in the resort drinking the rest of the mango rum and playing cards. We did several rounds of tong its, the classic 1-2-3 pass and bluff. Panalong panalo ang mga sinungaling(Go jay cool! Hehe).Favorite ko yung “Four threes!” ni tina while bringing down only three cards.

The next day itwe woke up early to watch the sunrise one more time. We took countless pictures and the island gifted us with the most magnificent sunrise ever.

After a quick breakfast, we quickly packed up and went back to reality—we took another 12 hour journey back to KL. We finally made it to PWTC at 8pm. We had dinner at the Chinese mamak near Jay and Tina’s place and afterwards Willai and I went back to our homes in Sri Petalling. The vacation was over.

So like I said, this is not an entry about love. But it’s about a lovely time. It’s not anything remotely romantic but it can be sentimental. After all you have a dreamer here telling the story. It was 3 days of beautiful memories—memories that I’ll treasure forever.

For more pictures.. visit my shutterfly site: http://redangadventure.shutterfly.com

Happy Birthday Tita Nel

We call her Tita for short-- the surrogate mom of the former tambays of Shuttles' Best Riverbanks and 1/4 of the much loved "Pamilya Badminton." And today is her birthday. I haven't seen tita in a long time since I am always moving around whenever I go back to Manila. The last time I saw her was in GBC when I popped in for a quick visit to see everyone. I still remember Tito (her better half) Noel teasing me about my weight and my partner Kei asking me what I did to balloon so much. hehe.

I rarely write about people and their birthdays in this blog but I thought I'd make an exception this time. Because today is a special day-- today is the birthday of my second mom. So I am writing this entry to tell the world how grateful I am to meet someone like her.

I first met tita in SB with tito noel. They asked me along with Vince to play with them in one of their regular games. I wasnt good yet back then. But they were geniunely nice to me. We had a great time. Then as the weeks went by I found myself spending more time with them. Eventually I became partners with Kei, their daughter and the rest was history.

Tita has this ability to make me feel loved even at my worst moment. She listens and geniunely cares for you. In one of our "talks" I remember her comforting me but at the same time she did not side with me. And that's how she is--fair. She loves all her kids (surrogate ones included) even if they bicker and fight. She will do her darnest to bridge peace but at the same time she knows when to let us fight out our own battles.

So happy birthday dear tita. I miss you lots. I miss saturdays with the rest of the pamilya. sana sa susunod kong balik, magkita kita tayong muli.

I Survived!

The hell week is over-- 37 hours of lecture in a span of 8 nonstop days of working. I survived. When my last lecture ended yesterday I felt like crying and laughing at the same time. I sat down for a few minutes and just stared at the view from my classroom at the KLTC. I actually made it. I guess it took a while for the entire reality of it all to finally sink in. It was finally over.

It wasn't my problem to bear in the first place. I could have said no. But unfortunately, I was called to service. And I guess it was just true to being the Hazel everyone know, I took on the challenge. Back in January, Angeli and I were laughing about this possibility of having the PG and UG modules clashing. But we were both confident that Reg will be here soon. Unfortunately, things didnt exactly go as planned. It was no one's fault. I guess it was fated to be that way talaga. But in the end I learned that I could do it. And hey it did make life extra exciting! haha.

After packing my bags and stuff, I went out of the building to celebrate "Freedom!" I was so happy that I couldn't care less if it was drizzling or jammed outside. I was in pure bliss. To celebrate the day of liberation, I went for an early dinner with friends at a Bakuteh stall in Jalan Imbi. We didnt get to order the pork entrails that we were craving for but what the heck. I was still happy. The food was great. We had the pork meat bakuteh, fried tofu with sweet chili sauce, veggies in garlic sauce, prawn with egg, and fried glass noodles. I didnt plan on eating much rice but it was too much to resist. So I gave in. And I deserved it. After all that strain for the last 8 days, I deserved to pig out. haha.

Going home we were all full and sleepy. We nixed the idea of dessert as we could barely walk out of the restaurant already. I think I learned a new definition of happiness in the process-- happiness is being able to laugh and relax at the end of long and tiring day.

When I got home I chatted with my sister and mom using skype. It was nice to hear their voices again. I also chatted with Wilai and Jay and other friends in passing. For the first time in 8 days I could actually chat without guilt.

It was the perfect ending to a long week.

Halfway

I am halfway through my so- called "hellweek." And I admit I'm starting to feel the fatigue. The past 4 days I've been feeling this uncontrollable twitching of my right eye. It is not painful but it is irritating and can a bit distressing. My sister tells me, it is the sign that my body is already stressed.

So far I've been surviving. I'm not performing in the usual 100% performance level that I know I could do, but I am happy that at least I am getting by.

Yesterday I had my checkup for my ovarian cysts. And as I expected there wasn't that much of goodnews. Although there was a slight decrease in the size of the cysts (all 3 of them), the rate of decrease did not go as hoped for. And after 6 months of medication, we had to decide what was the next course of treatment.

I mentioned that it was kind of expected on my part. I know my body and I know when its well and when it is not. I knew that all these craziness is taking its toll on my health. And I was just hoping (and praying) that at least it won't be something disastrous. So the little good news was still welcomed. It may not have disappeared as hoped but at least it did not increase anymore. Somehow I am also taking the side effects well and I am learning to just live with the nuisance of losing my hair a bit and going through my weight gain (but hey! I lost weight too!).

For about 2 minutes I allowed myself to feel some form of self pity. Then afterwards, as if on cue, I sighed, and went back to reality. I'm used to this kind of setbacks. I've lived through 27 years of relapses and remissions for my ITP. And with each setback I learned to pick myself up and try again.

My doctor and I discussed the pros and cons and it was agreed that I was to go on 3 more months of medication and make a last try for a cure. Who knows right, miracles might happen?

I know I need to destress my life a bit for this thing to go away. That will be my next project, once I survive this hell week.

18 hours of teaching to go.

29 Hours to go

My countdown continues. I finished the first 8 hours of teaching today and I survived. That leaves 29 hours to go before I can rest (just for a day). The first day of a new module always give me the most anxiety. Not because I don't know the topic but because its a new group of people to meet again. I used to dread the feeling of anxiety and nervousness. I would fidget and do everything I can to take the anxious feeling away. But now I realized that I need that anxiety to perk me up. Kinda like positive stress-- it motivates me to do the work that needs to be done.

My voice nearly ran out today but I was happy nonetheless. When the clock finally struck 5:00 pm which signalled the end of the day for me, I finally felt all the tiredness that I simply pushed back throughout the day.

I relaxed a bit by watching 10000 BC. Don't know why but there was something missing in the movie that I can't seem to pinpoint. I just didnt enjoy it as much as I hoped I would. Or maybe it was simply because my mind refused to do any more thinking than it ought to.

Now I'm watching badminton. I have a few hours of rest before the craziness start all over again.

Loyalties & Hell Week

Some may think of it as an asset while others would probably think I'm slightly crazy. But I have this principle in life-- That if You hurt my friend , I'll be your worst nightmare. I am extremely loyal to my friends. I will defend them to the last breathe of my life.

So be warned.

***
Today I missed home again. I missed it so much that I felt like wanting to just go to the airport and grabbing the next ticket available. Only I can't. Because tomorrow is the start of hell week. I will be teaching 37 hours in 8 days. Isn't it wonderful? I call it my extra challenge for march. So who could say life is boring right?

But going back.. I guess the homesickness is linked to the entry above. I miss home. I miss the people I love back home. I miss friends whom I know won't betray me or won't talk behind my back. I miss having honest to goodness REAL people around me-- people whom I could really trust. There are a few here, Im not saying there is none. But just for today, I'd like to surround myself with the warmth of my friends back home before I go into battle tomorrow.

IF you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You're never alone you know
Just think of you friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there
With love to share
And your heart will lead you home.

V day thoughts

Back in 2000, I went off on my first non-romantic date for valentines. It was a triple date with two good friends in Katips bar and grill. I still remember our drinks of mango sago shake which was heavenly. It was the best v-day date ever. I think it was after that event that I stopped pinning for a romantic v-day date. I realized that valentine's is meant to celebrate happy times. And being happy doesn't necesarrily include someone "special" in your life.

Fast forward to 2008 and I find myself in malaysia celebrating my second v-day in a foreign country. My girlfriends in manila spent days in planning their respective romantic dates via our email while I simply contemplated on what my lecture would be for that day. Didn't have plans and didn't intend to have one.

So how was valentines'? It turned out to be a surprised filled day that included moving from one building to another in campus, setting up my pc and settling down in my old room, to watching korean movies while munching on chippy and pigging out the most amazing halal thai food I've ever tasted. I haven't had chippy in a long time so when it was presented to me, I was simply at bliss. hehe. Who says valentines day is only for the taken?

At the end of the day, I find myself humming to the theme song of Il Mare and wondering if such story could actually exist. I don't know how but I've been feeling disillusioned about all these "mushy" stuff for some time now. I think it somehow got lost amidst the cynicism of stress and disappointments of heartbreaks. But last night I found myself wondering once more. And the dreams that I thought have gone missing are slowly resurfacing back.

Slowly, in tiny little steps, I feel the old hazel coming back. And I'm starting to believe in happy endings once more...

Some Ramblings about Turning 31

I turned 31 last thursday. I am not afraid to admit my age. In fact I happily tell people how old I am. When I was about 10 I never saw myself living beyond 30 so it was particularly important for me to honour this gift of one more year of life. Not that I want to sound morbid here, but I guess I've always thought that life was going to be short for me given my history of illnesses. So in a way I've always lived life as if I was on borrowed time and thus I try to live it to the best that I can.

This year I told myself I would have a different birthday. After all one doesn't turn 31 every year. So this year I celebrated my birthday in Bangkok with Angeli, my friend from the university.After finishing our "official business" in the land of tom yum and chili crabs, we relaxed by enjoying the fruits of our hard labour. We went on a food trip, a shopping trip, and even a massage trip. We have been both under a lot of stress lately because of work so the trip was equally important for our work as well as our sanity.

After I returned I had my traditional birthday dinner/inuman with my pinoy friends which was fun. Everyone was drunk especially me. haha. I missed having ella and the rest of my manila barkada around though. I have to admit not seeing their faces in my party was abit nostalgic for me. I even miss having olie try and steal the food from the tables.

In turning 31 I learned some important life lessons. I learned that life is simply how we make it to be. We may blame fate for our circumstances but in the end our so called "circumstances" are actually our own doing. I learned that happiness lies only in 1 place--ourselves. Nothing and no one can make us truly happy but ourselves. Sadness and loneliness comes about when we choose to give the power to make us happy to someone else.

Over the past few weeks Ive been instilling some changes in my life by taking back the power of being happy and finding my bliss. I'm slowly finding myself again. And I'm learning to love myself more-including my imperfections and my neurotic mood swings from time to time.

I've learned that being on my own may have given me freedom. But that freedom is choice. And whatever I choose, I should be ready to pay the price. I finally come to accept the truth behind the saying--you can have anything in this world as long as you are willing to pay the price.

I've learned that I have a gift-- a gift of being able to bring together people who normally would not even be together. Seeing my friends get drunk last friday night reminded me of that gift. My mom used to marvel at how varied my group of friends are. When you look at them they don't have anything in common but whenever it was time for my birthday or any of my parties at home, everyone would show up-- and even for a couple of hours they would actually get along.

Most of all I've learned not to settle for anything less than what I deserve. I am not seeking for perfection. But I've also learned that settling for anything less that what I really want is depriving myself of what I ought to have. And if I am fortunate enough to have this extension in life, I know I should not only live it but I should live it WELL.

enough said.

Trapped in the 13th floor

I found myself trapped in my apartment's elevator this morning. I was on my way to work when the lift (that's how the British call elevators) decided to go crazy and take me for a terror morning ride. I was trapped in the 13th floor (what a number right?!) with the lift's door only partially open.

I was on my way down when the lift suddenly bolted up instead of down. The indicator lights for the 14th and 15th floors lit up so I thought someone must have pushed that button before I boarded to lift. Then suddenly I felt a large jerk. Then the doors opened about 2 inches then stopped. That was when I realized I was stuck!

Trying not to get myself in a panic mode I began to push the open button. I dared not to push any other button as it might cause more problems. I pushed the alarm button to signal to the outside world that I was trapped. I had my phone and started to think of people to call for a rescue. Unfortunately I didn't have any of my apartment's maintenance people saved in my phone book.

It started to feel extremely hot after several minutes. I realized that the ventillation system wasnt working and if it werent for that tiny open slot i would have been suffocated for lack of air. My arm was already starting to numb from pressing that darn alarm button (it would turn off whenever I pull my finger out). After a few more minutes I saw an Indian guy pass by. I yelled for him to notice me. He looked lost first and finally noticed my voice. He was kind enough to call for help downstairs to the main security post. 10 minutes later two guards came to rescue me out. The two gentlemen were the guards I have come to befriend in the condo. Every morning we would say hello. When they saw me trapped there, they immediately rescued me out.

They had to pry the doors open with a wrench. That tiny slot saved my ass again. For had there been no opening, I would have had to wait for a technician to show up since the guards wont be able to pry it open at all.

It was 20 minutes of hell. By the time I got out I was sweating like a pig. The guards escorted me down and for a few moments there I actually contemplated on taking the stairs instead. I was so grateful to my two superheroes.

I used to just hear stories about people being trapped in elevators. Now I know how it feels like. And its a feeling I don't want to ever repeat again. Sana man lang may gwapo dun sa loob ng elevator diba?

Another misadventure in the life of an expat. It makes you realize--life is indeed full of surprises.

Chocolate Memories

"Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

Forrest Gump once said this words to a stranger sitting beside him. When you think about it, its really true-- life is indeed full of surprises like that of opening a chocolate box. And even though the chocolate you have in front of you is actually one flavor, each bite is a surprise.

Staring at a worn toblerone box last night, I remembered the happiest day of my vacation. At the same I remembered that that day was also the saddest because it was the day of goodbye.

Life is like that in a way- full of ironies and twists of faith. Hello's and goodbyes always go hand in hand and Happiness and sadness will always be partners. And like eating chocolate, it gives you a high that leaves you feeling low once the sugar crashes your system.

But you'll always most definitely will remember the happy moments.

I hang on to those happy memories these days.
I hang on to them for dear life
Until the day I can relive them again
Until that day,
I'll look at my toblerone bars and smile.
And remember...

Ariantart's visit

Yesterday I had my first visitor for 2008-- Arian. We were orgmates in college and while she was still an applicant she became my sort of "adopted buddy" by virtue of her being Peter's buddy. Through the years weve remained in contact. We've never forgotten each other during the important dates like birthdays (she shares the same birthday with peter) and holidays. We even got to play badminton once or twice. She was like a little sister to me in MMC.

So yesterday she came over for an overnight visit on her way back from Melbourne to Manila. We went around KL to explore some of the city's highlights. Of course there was the traditional trek up the skybridge of Petronas and the "must" stop to buy vincci shoes. We walked around Merdeka square and took pictures around the city's well known landmarks.

It was nice to reminisce with her about our old college adventures. Ang dami na palang kinasal, ikakasal, nagbreak, nagkabalikan, nagbreak muli, etc. After a long day of nonstop walking, we took her to Kinrara to introduce her to malaysian streetfood.

Till the next visitor...

24 hours

If you had only 24 hours left to live, how would you like to live it?

Some people do not know the value of one day. They take it for granted. I almost did. Fortunately Ella reminded me of how special 1 day was. On my last day in Manila, I spent a few hours bitching over the fact that I couldn't do the things I want because of duties. And although it was childish and fickle, I was really so annoyed that I was "losing" my last day to just waiting in traffic and lining up in empty hallways.

Then I realized that I still had the rest of my 24 hours to live. By being annoyed and bitchy I was depriving myself the chance of being happy on my last day. So I did the next best thing-- I enjoyed what was left of my 24 hours and created memories to last me through until my next trip home.

In the final 24 hours I...

... played badminton with my original badminton group-- CUBES at Chut's. Had a blast playing with the boys once more.
... partnered with an old friend in a mixed doubles game that reminded me of my old form-- despite the long hiatus of our old partnership, he still brings out the competitive side in me.
... became friends again, even for a few minutes with someone. Kahit isang saglit.
... met up with the p10 girls for a traditional shakey's dinner of our favorites-- pepperoni crunch, basket of mojos, chicken and chips, and captain's choice of appetizers.
... paid a visit to enzo and Kim. took gazillions of pics again of our beloved inaanak and made some last minute chikka about our lives.
... played pusoy dos with my cousins after almost 10 years of hiatus. We used to have pusoy dos challenges when we were younger with our own scoring system to match. Ves used to win those games hands down. Until now she remains the champ.
... met some long lost relatives whom I haven't seen in ages.
... ate crispy ulo from baliwag's lechon and bought sweet corn from ateneo.
...called ella one time to many to update her about my whereabouts and doabouts-- I will miss our telebabad nights again.
... bonfire grill with divina, tetet, and jai. I didnt feel like "emoting" at home so I decided to show up to the post shakey's hangout.
... had my final eat out with idol at Figaro in sgt. esguerra. He treated me to a cup of freshly brewed coffee and a small chocolate cake-- this was tradition-- something Idol and I haven't broken (technically). He's always the last person I go out with every time I am home.

As I Anthony and I were leaving Figaro, I felt a twinge of nostalgia and regret. Idol gave me a box of toblerone chocolates (like the ones he gave me back in September) and we finally said our final goodbye. Weren't it for the realization that my mascara wasn't waterproof, I was literally on the verge of crying. Because at that moment it finally hit me-- that that was goodbye. I was going back to Malaysia the next day.

The tough part about going home I guess is leaving again especially when you've come to realize how much home meant. It would be a while again before I could just make a quick call to ella and classmate adrian and just say out of the blue, "tara lunch out tayo!" or have one of my late night dinners with Luis and Byo at Eastwood or tease idol in person while sipping our favorite cups of coffee (winnie the pooh and honey pie!hehehe) plus seeing weevens cringe with "imbyerna" whenever we speak about the soulmates RQ and V(Q?)

But still I'm happy. I'm happy I had 21 beautiful days. And I had 24 final hours to relish each one of those days.

Coffee-Hyperiffic day

I used to be a noncoffee drinker. I used to hate the smell of coffee so much that I would even ask Banjo back in college not to drink it while I was around. Ganon ko siya kaayaw. But through the years I learned to occasionally drink it until I discovered coffee in the UK. Ever since my UK trip, I've turned into a new coffee lover.

Last monday I experienced my first real coffee high. hahaha. I was literally in hyper mode the whole day thanks to the multiple coffee stops idol (a.k.a. winnie the pooh) and I made the entire day while working on his "baby" aka "thesis." We had breakfast in mcdo followed by coffee in starbucks. Then we had lunch at Dencio's (where I had coke) followed by tea in Figaro. By the time we got to Figaro in commonwealth I was in extra hyper mode already.

Yesterday I was in day 2 of my hyperrific coffee day. I don't know what was in the coffee at idol's house but after I cup I was in hyper mode na. To shut me up, he gave me his discussion chapter to read. hehehe. Di pa kami nadala, nag figaro pa uli kami while waiting for welibird to come out of class. More hyperness. hehehe. By the time we were eating lunch I was in my extra makulit mode already.

Thus when I got home last night I felt the sugar crash in my system.. plakda! After my chikka with ella, I was asleep faster than one could count from 1-10. hehe.

The hyper mode worked though coz we did manage to get a lot of work done. Kaya dapat matapos na yang thesis na yan.. para yung libre ko matuloy na. hehehe.

Celebrating the New Year in Davao

I'm here in Davao City for the New Year. My uncle was very gracious to invite us to spend some quality time with the rest of the family which includes my 86 year old grandparents, 2 sets of aunts and uncles, 4 cousins, and a brand new niece. Although I visited Davao right before I moved to Malaysia, it has been years since I got to celebrate the holidays here. When I was a kid, we used to go to Davao every Christmas. And growing up was filled with fond memories of our "family reunions."

Although definitely "older," we were like our old selves still. We had the traditional dinner in the 27 year old dining table with Papa and Mama at the helm. Gone is children's table since we all fit in the big table now but all the jokes and food are the still very much the same. We went to Paradise Resort for our traditional trip to the beach and ate our ever favorite calamares (now with Beer on the side! haha). Tryke, Kaye, Ves, and I swam our hearts out in my favorite beach of all time. I discovered that I wasn't totally hopeless in swimming as I could actually float in the seawater. I made a pact with Kaye that next Christmas, I'm coming back for my diving lessons courtesy of my cousin the dive master.

New Year's eve we went to Merco to eat our favorite ice cream dessert. When we were young we used to dare each other in ordering the "choo choo train" their humongous dessert. Pippin was the one we successfully dared that time who actually vomitted after eating too much ice cream. Pippin was our baby cousin then. Now he's a college student (and now I feel old! hahaha). Ves and Mikko ordered their ever favorite chocolate parfait (our favorite) while Kaye had the banana boat (2 scoops of ice cream as compared to the three scoops that comes with the Banana split... kaya boat lang siya.). I on the other hand finally succumbed to my halohalo craving and ordered my most missed dessert. Merco was on a christmas sale and everything was either buy one take one or 50% off. So I partnered with tito mannie so that I dont have to eat two orders of halohalo (kundi goodluck my diet naman diba?).

This reunion introduced us to the newest baby of the Llaneza clan-- Kikay, Mikko's cute baby girl. I met kikay when she was just about a month old last year but now 1 year later, she's as bubbly as ever. She loves to dance and smile. She's afraid of statues and giant bears but once accustomed to them she warms up nicely. She enjoys being carried by me and we bonded over goats and our penchant for headbanging while giggling together.

Then there's Pips and Happy-- my uncle's two dogs. Pips is an overweight golden retriever whose so lazy because he's so big. Last night he was too lazy to come and greet us in the porch from his post in the garden that he would only wiggle his tail to acknowledge hearing his name when we called him. Happy on the hand is the datschund with ADHD. I think he was injected with anti depressants or uppers. He can jump all day and all night without ever tiring himself.

Tomorrow were going back to Samal.. And saturday we'll be back home...

Kamusta na kya sina olie and annie?

Home For the Holidays

I am home again. Classmate said, "Welcome home for the nth time classmate!" signifying how this year was one travelling year for me. Now I know where all my money went. haha. Ella calls it the first year adjustment period. I think I prefer to call it "sanity trips."

My first day back was spent shopping in SM clark and a late night toma session with ella, classmate adrian, and earl. I miss the taste of ice cold san mig light. ahhhhh.. Total bliss. I forgot my pledge to diet during the holidays all together (what's a few more pounds?! hahaha).

For xmas eve and noche buena, mom and I went to Malolos to spend christmas with my uncles and aunts. It was a different noche buena for us as we've been so used to having just us for noche buena. Last night there were more people and I had all the noise I've been craving for all these months. My cousins and I spent the night teasing each other to death. It was just like the old times-- I could bully my cousins like crazy and get away with it (perks of being the ate!haha) only this time we're a bit older to do all the crazy stuff we used to do. Pigged out again with the traditional hamon, queso de bola, bbq, etc. There was even goto with isaw and a GSM blue spiked punch. Bobsi and I even got to watch Zaido and laugh our hearts out while watching the outrageous costumes. I credit the show for its creativity but di ko pa din carry ang costume designs! hahahaha.

My uncle asked me how come I never seem to run out of energy. I told him that when in manila, bawal ang matulog!bawal ang mag pahinga!bawal ang magkasakit! I will just sleep when I get back to KL. hehe.

Merry Christmas everyone.

The Runaway Lecturer...

It was a scene out of possibly a telenovela or one of those soap operas where the heroine has to find a way to run away from a villain. A true battle of wits that in the end that one who emerged victorious was the one who managed to outsmart, outrun and outlast the other. Mala survivor ika nga or pwede ding Amazing Race (Broga version?)

I thought it would just be an ordinary day. I had nothing much to do but I chose to report to the office in order to hit the gym and do some admin work. I was perfectly relaxed and after 2 hours of excercise I was prepared to just bore the day away (perhaps even catch an episode of private practice in between). But no, life has a way of twisting your day up into a pandora's box of surprises. An hour into my "semi automatic boring day" my life's peace was disturbed.

Like the princess in the enchanted, I had to think fast (syempre feeling princess, sayang lang walang mcdreamy to come and rescue me!). Thank God I had a long history of skills in scriptwriting and managed to concoct an elaborate script to escape. And with the help of some equally talented confederates, we managed to pull off the great nottingham escape. haha. It could rival the intricate plans of michael and lincoln in prisonbreak, with a slight detour to a place we fondly call "yu'sless" for some nasi ayam and nasi goreng pataya plus a sidetrip to the putu bamboo place (of course importante ang may baon diba?!). After several tense minutes, I was able to board a taxi to freedom. I was armed with only the essentials-- my wallet, my keys, my two mobile phones and my baon na puto bamboo. I left the rest of my stuff in my room. I just couldn't risk going back. ..Medyo chaka nga lang kasi naman di ko nafactor in sa great escape ang getaway bag ko. For the lack of a better alternative I had to make do with a pink plastic bag like the one they use in the palengke. hahaha.. Oh God, nakaka wapoise.

In the end I managed to outrun the halimaw sa banga, at least for now. Last I heard, my informants told me he left the building. I guess napagod din siyang bantayan ang pinto ng kwarto ko. It was scary though. And for a few moments, I felt a sense of panic building up in me. But I realized I didn't have the time to be scared so I had to push it out of my head. I had to think fast. And I had to use my brains rather than wallow in my fears.

I'm celebrating my small victory by cooking and thanking the heavens for the gift of great friends.

Once upon a time, everytime I would get into some weird mess, my friend would always be there to rescue me from my bloopers. When he left I thought I'd never find that kind of friend again. I was wrong. I may not have found someone like him, but instead I found many others who could be there to help me when I fall. So maybe I'm better off now. Coz instead of one, I have plenty.

Sabi ni Rok, "Ang haba ng hair mo day!"

Magnet ng stalker. Yikes. Pwede bang iba na lang?

One more chance...

I thought about it maybe once or twice, generally in passing, but often I shoved it at the back of my head. Why? I don't know. Perhaps it was because I've seen so many stories like that and didn't want to be part of yet another casual statistic. Perhaps, it was because I knew it was something not possible. Or maybe perhaps at the back of my head I knew that if things were possible I knew it might work out, but somehow after all the times I've fallen flat on my face, I never want to risk rocking theboat again.

So now I'm left with a list of maybe's and what ifs. Although I don't have regrets, I find myself wondering still what if. I think this is due to Popoy and Bashia's melodramatic moments plus the enchanting romance of mcdreamy and giselle in enchanted. Haay namoody tuloy ako. hahaha. But generally I am okay. I'm kinda happy with all these things. I'm very happy for my friend. I think I'm just in that Julia Roberts' phase in My Best Friend's Wedding. It's just a phase. I want it to be just a phase.

Of all the what if's and maybe's, there's one that I find myself being lonely for at this moment-- the one I look forward to whenever i'm about to leave. I don't think it'll happen again. My friend Wilai is right, nakasanayan eh. Mahirap talaga pag nasanay. ..

Yun nga lang ang nakasanayan, pwedeng sanaying wala na din.

I had too many one more chances. Unfortunately this time, time ran out.

For now.

***
Kasalanan to ni classmate. :P

Some Random Thoughts, One December Night

Perhaps it's the uncanily cold weather that makes the wind smell like christmas or the brightly lit lights that traverse the streets or the mini christmas trees that fill the insides of the malls. Or maybe it's just the nostalgic feelings brought about by the wedding of a friend and the news of a newfound interest of another.

But whatever it is, I just feel profoundly sentimental tonight. I'm a hodgepodge of emotions from utter delight to happiness to twinges of loneliness and regret. I guess you could say, tonight is a "halo halo" of emotions. And as I ramble these lines in my blog I can't help but smile and wonder, is this what they call bliss?

Yes. Bliss. Despite the sadness accompanying the nostalgia, I am happy. Something about the air here makes it filled with bliss. There are some things I refuse to think of maybe because i just dont want to spoil this moment of rarity--when things, though not perfect, is simply all right.

I can't help but think though of someone who used to be part of the bliss. Is he happy too? Does he know about her? I just hope that wherever he is, he would also find his bliss.. just like i found mine tonight.

Tama si wilai.. minsan ayaw mo na tlagang umalis...pero ang bawat hello may goodbye.. ang bawat simula may dulo.....

525,800 minutes in Malaysia

five hundred twenty five
thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you
measure? measure a year

in daylights,
in sunsets,
in midnights,
in cups of coffee,
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you
measure a year in a life?

Right now it's almost 5pm in my watch. 525,800 minutes ago my plane was taxiing out of the NAIA runway and I was looking at my final glimpse to the place I called home for 30 year.

That's right. It's been a year since I moved to Malaysia. Who would have thought that I would survive? hahaha. I still remember the night before I left. I played badminton one last time at GBC and Luis and I had our last traditional "drive home." It was semi emotional in a way for me. And part of me didn't want to leave at all. I even held off packing my luggage until 4am of my departure date. Talk about delaying tactics. I cried when November 28 finally came. I remembered crying to mom and asking her that should I want to would it be okay for me to go back. I didnt want to disappoint her but at the same time moving away and leaving everything that mattered most to me was just too damn hard.

Ves took me took me to the airport with fr ben. We drove through jollibee to have my last meal on my beloved Kia sportage. Hurriedly I rushed to the insides of NAIA terminal 1 so that I wouldnt have to cry infront of my sister.

Now here I am a year later. When I left I made a bargain with myself and told myself just see it for a year and then decide afterwards. If I survive one year I will be okay.

I did. And I think I more than survived. And now looking back, I know I would have made the biggest mistake if I didnt at least try this adventure. Sure, there were downsides and times when I just want to completely pack my bags and go home for good. But there were lots of good times too. I may have gotten sick a lot but I also learned a lot. I learned more about myself than perhaps any other time in my life. And when I grow old I would always look at this life changing event as perhaps one of the best adventures of my life.

I left Manila to find myself again after everything I went through. Now 525,800 minutes later, I've befriended myself again and not only that I've learned to remember him in better times. I've learned to cherish the good and wash away the bad. And I've learned to forgive.

So what will happen now? I really don't know. I still have two more years in my contract. We'll see how that one goes.

For now, life goes on...


five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
five hundred twenty five thousand suix hundred minutes
how do you measure a life of a woman or a man

in truths that she learned
or in times that she cried
in bridges he burned
or the way that she died

its time now to sing out though
the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in a life of friends

Singapore Finds

I have to admit I am addicted to shoes.

There is something about shopping for shoes that makes my heart flutter and my eyes twinkle. My mom tells me that I have so much shoes already but I feel that unless I end up having 3,000 pairs of shoes like Imelda does, I don't think I'll ever have enough. I always find myself browsing through shoe stores and trying on my next must haves or search for discounted pairs that would be too hard to resist. One of the joys of finally landing a good job is being able to shop without guilt for the shows I love.

While in Singapore last Saturday I gave in to my inner child by splurging on my favorite accessory. We checked out Charles and Keith at Vivo city mall on our way to Sentosa Island and saw that there was a sale. Charles and Keith was quite expensive back in Manila so seeing them priced so reasonably in Singapore was like manna from heaven! haha.

I instantly fell in love with a pair of bronze 3 .5 inch high heels with a velvet ribbon. It was quite high but man did it feel so nice (Forget varicose veins, I'm getting these darn shoes!) After about forty minutes of browsing (i'm a quick shopper) I came out 100SGD poorer but much much happier with my nice finds. I also bought a pair of black pumps (I call it the sensible classic pumps) for work and a pair of black leather flats that were to comfy to resist.There were other designs that I would love to buy but I stopped myself or else I might end up spending my entire salary on these lovely creations.

I was kinda worried going back as the malaysian customs might question my purchases. Fortunately I breezed through easily. Whew! When I got home I immediately tried them on and walked all around the house. haha. It reminded me of the things I did when I was a kid whenever mom would take ves and me shoe shopping. We'd always model our finds at home.

After modeling my new finds, I carefully wrapped them back in their original boxes and stored them in my cabinet. I wish I had one of those gigantic shoe cabinets o I can arrange them in a display fashion but I guess labelling the boxes will have to do for now.

If love makes the world go round, then shoes make the walking around the world lighter. :)

Camping

I loved sleepovers growing up.

I remember looking forward to the times when my cousin Beryl would come over and sleepover my house when we were kids. Several times a year we would exchange sleepovers once in a while. Despite seeing each other almost weekly, we still looked forward to having those sleepover nights when we'd giggle our way to sleep.

Some of my fondest childhood memories were made during those camping nights. My cousin and I would play "beauty pageants" whenever it was pageant season or we'd play house in my natually messy room. In one of my barkada sleepovers, we spent the entire day preparing for the hs dance and chatted all night about our magical night.

But sometimes sleepovers would also mean goodbyes. After our HS graduation my entire barkada camped out at Ina's roofdeck for a night of nonestop laughter and girl bonding. Little did we know that that was one of the last times we'd see one of our friends for good.

In an impromptu camping, I recently relived aomw of those happy childhood memories. Totally unplanned, we decided to drink and go camping in my room. It was quite hilarious seeing adults at our age giggling and teasing each other to death about the most ridiculous things (think piritong kawali, kalabaw na nagmoomoo haha). One was locked out in the dark by the schoolboys (bad boys!).It was a true bonding moment filled with lots of laughter, giggles, kwentong barbero, kwentong "oc" and "pulis" and of course absolut mandarin (ay mandrin pala!) to keep us sane (hehehe)

The camping flooded on to the next day with a major foodtrip. Yummy lechong kawali, creamy molo soup (aka molo featuring the sotanghon), and tortang talong (aka giniling featuring the talong) all for a measly contribution of RM9 each (parang nag hapi cook ka lang). Of course nothing could beat the laughter that went along the coooking session especially when one would suddenly make "weird" remarks that appeared to have come from outer space! haha.

Who would have thought that an ordinary drinking session would turn out to be one of the best camping/sleepovers ever? Sometimes the best do come in the most ordinary packages, wrapped with a little adventure streak to spice things up. I learned not only to laugh more and smile more, but I've learned to value who are my true friends more. It made me miss home but it made me feel more at home here too.

I finally feel I belong.

I can't wait for the next camping.... Think Hat Yai eto.. yahoo!!!

A new discovery (a.k.a. adventures of the food fanatic)

Last friday I discovered my newest favorite dish in Malaysia--the asam laksa. It was initially introduced to me by Elaine and Alex when they took me out for lunch a couple of weeks ago but I never got to try it till last week. I decided to have a "food trip" to change my usual pasar malam habit of buying char kuey teow and satay. So I decided to try two new malaysian dishes I saw in the night market-- the pan mee and the asam laksa. Both were good but admitedly I liked the latter one better. It was really good. It tasted something in between sinigang and paksiw na isda with a tinge of minty taste to it. I couldn't stop thinking about the dish so exactly 7 days later I decided to have the dish again.

Right now I'm eating my bowl of asam laksa while waiting for my newly installed broadband connection to download the latest greys anatomy, heroes and prisonbreak episodes. It's quite spicy but I like it a lot. I asked the auntie not to put pineapples though. The auntie looked at me curiously thinking why on earth was I asking her to exclude that ingredient. Unfortunately I am terribly allergic to that fruit. Yes, there exist a person in this world that is allergic to pineapples.

One of the perks of living in a foreign country is discovering the country's food culture. And although I still cook a lot of pinoy food here in Malaysia I also enjoy trying new cuisines. I look forward to discovering more of malaysia's yummy dishes in the next few years.

ok back to eating... ciao!

Pictures from Willeah and Mark's Wedding

pics from the wedding of willeah and mark...