110 Reasons to Say Thank You (for the 110 days of Prednisone)

On July 27, 2008, I sent out 3 text messages for 4 people whom I wanted to say thank you to. I thought to myself that if something happened I wanted to be ready. I think I scared them as I was scolded by one for being too morbid while the two others cheered me on to not give up.

I was on prednisone for a total of 110 days, a drug, though lifesaving had a multitude of side effects that created chaos in my sense of being.

They say the measure of a good life is not by the amount of riches you gain but by the number of people who love and care for you. This is a long thank you note to the 110 people who made the past 110 days possible. It was a long process listing all these folks down and I know I may have missed a few. But to everyone whether your listed or not, THANK YOU..

So here goes...I am grateful..

1.For God – for the gift of life and well, for everything else.

2.For my Mom, Maria, for letting me go on my adventures even if I know she’s worried about me.

3.For my sister Vesper who taught me the value of ambition and soaring for my dreams

4.For my bestfriend Ella who has always been there for me, through thick and thin even if at times I am not there for her. Thank you for being part of my life

5.For Jay, who kept my spirits up during the times when the side effects of pred were taking its toll on my sanity; for rescuing my PAP convention paper and for treating me as if I was just the same old me.

6.For Oliver my beloved pusang kalye, my baby and my friend who never forgets who his “mommy” is despite our distance.

7. For Anthony, for making me laugh and keeping me company in Davao. Thanks for calling every so often to check up on me.

8. For my neighbors, Ria and Jesse who kept me company in the hospital and looked out for me during that hell week

10. For classmate Adrian’s endearing sense of humor and his courage to remove the bandaid.

11. My aunts and uncles—Tito Mannie & Tita Malou, Tito Joey & Tita Lucille, Tito Ted & Tita Thel for their never ending love and support. Thanks Tito Mannie for all the text messages you’ve been sending everyday.

17. My Ninang Rose and her family—papa june, che and pey—for their concern and care.

21. To Nongni, Tita Dada, Vince, Bobsi for picking me up in the airport whenever I go home.

25. Tita tats—my doctor away from home.

26. For my pamilya badminton—Tita Nel, Tito Noel, Kei, & RB. Thank you for always remembering me in your thoughts and prayers. I miss you guys!

30. My mentor and namesake—Fr. Jaime Bulatao. You’ve been there for me since even before I was born. I am honored to share your name.

31. For Fr. Ben, whose been there for me and my family for as long as I can remember.

32. To Michael, Jay’s friend whom I don’t know and haven’t met but took time out to help sort out my tarpaulin crisis in August. You saved my presentation. Maraming Salamat.

33. The Jollibee Plus Travel Group—Ma’am Lisa, Jovil, Marivic, Nicole, Ma'am Veron, Maam Anna & Hubby, and Earl—for welcoming me with open arms.

41. The Perfect 10 Girls—Divina, Tetet, Jai, Mariel, Kim, Flo, Beth & Aries —my personal cheering squad and bodyguards all rolled into one. These girls will go to war for me and I love them to death.

49. For Angeli, who is not only a great boss but also a great friend. She makes Nottingham feel like home.

50. To Angeli’s brothers and their families—Randy, Rose, Zoe, Rob, Selena & Zach—for the wonderful time we had in the cruise and for making me feel like I was a part of their family. Thanks!

56. For Charles, my safeguard Malaysia (a.ka. my konsensya).. He keeps me grounded to reality. Pano pag nag adik ka, he will smash you with the shuttlecock.

57. For Jom, my perennial sounding board. Rarely do you find someone worth keeping so she is a treasure to cherish.

58. For Bala & Natasha- for their understanding and care.

60. To Marissa, my first real friend in Kuala Lumpur.

61. To My doctor, Dr. Rudy Yeoh for his faith in my body’s capacity to heal itself. Rare do you find a doctor who listens not just with the mind but also with the heart.

62. To Dr. Rudy’s assistant—I don’t know your name but you make blood test as painfree as possible for me and for that I am so grateful.

63. To my manila doctor—Dr. Lisa Naranjo—for keeping tabs on me even if Im far away.

64. For Len & Witart George for their friendship. I look forward to my visits with you guys everytime I go home.

66. For Karen & Marlu who taught me about friendship and staying true to who you really are.

68. To Mimopie, my original “boyfriend” whose faith in me is amazing. Thank you for your love and trust even from afar.I promise if and when I get married, you will be the officiating priest (hahaha.. if it ever happens..)

69. For Friendship Maan’s support of my “crazy antics” and “adventures.”

70. To Oliver, the human (hahaha).. Teroy’s visit was one of the most fun times I had in KL. I’m glad you’re happier now.

71. To my Nottingham family—Liz, Azlan, Regina,Dian, and even Melissa (you’re still part of it) for taking me in and not making me feel alone in a strange land.

76. For my soulsister—Charrie whose impending motherhood is something I’m so excited about. I know you will be a great mom partner.

77. To Mardet & Jeff, my big brother and sister in the counseling program of ateneo. You always remember.

78. To my GBC family—Tita Cons, Tito Mau, Marlu, & Harry and everyone else who queue every Monday and Thursday nights.. Thanks for always welcoming me back to my beloved GBC.

82. For Denden & Kirby—for their cheerful hi’s and hello’s and for always keeping in touch. Thanks for breaking the curse kirbs!!

84. To Josh, my sis in SG, for being one of the few people here that I could talk to with all honesty. I’m so glad we became friends.

85. For Giselle & Shella and their generosity. Thanks for keeping our mom company in Manila.

87. To the PPPeyups gang—Vivi, Gilbert, Merly & Tin, good friends through all these years. Ano kaya ang announcement ni Tin? Thanks guys for believing in me.

91. For my cousin Tryke and his beloved Michelle who were my personal tour guides/drivers while I was in Davao back in August and whenever I am there.

93. For my comps’ gang—Chin, Bambi, & Obeng, for sharing my ups and downs even years after our famous exam.

96. For my ARP students—Sham, William & Hui Ying for being patient with me whenever I’m too sick to advise them.

97. For Ralyn & Ben whose lovestory gives me the hope that people do find their soul mates.

99. To Prednisone, the drug that saved my life.

100. To Niel,AJ, & Weevens, my ateneo friends and colleagues whom I bug every now and then for favors.

103. To Peter and the rest of experimental psychology & psych testing students in Ateneo for reminding me always of why I love my job.

104. To my UP Math Barkada-- Aldwin, Lyzet, Sheryll, Kim, Aldwin E., & Peter.. Good friends that I surely miss.

110. And to YOU, you know who you are-- for driving the symptoms away by simply being there.

I am forever grateful.

Goodbye

After 110 days I finally said goodbye to prednisone, the medication that boosted my platelets up and saved my life. My platelets are finally deemed normal enough to warrant a chance to do things on its own. For those unfamiliar with Thrombocytopenia, what happens with my platelets is that for some unknown reason, my body has developed antibodies against its own platelets. So when the blood is sent to the spleen for filtering, instead of just filtering out the bad stuff, the good platelets also gets the ax. Thus causing abnormally low platelet counts.

Yesterday I went to see Dr. Rudy again and we had our usual blood tests. For the 2nd time around, no blood came out of the syringe! ouch! The med tech had to fan the needle a bit (double ouch!) to catch the right vein. 2 hours of waiting later (dr. rudy had a bone marrow event), i came out smiling from ear to ear. Count was at 190,000.

So its goodbye prednisone. I hope this would be the final goodbye.. but if not, i hope we don't meet for a very very long time.

Back from Cambodia

It took almost 6 months of planning and now it's finally over. We're back from our 4 day adventure in Cambodia. If I could use one phrase to capture the trip it would be this-- "hope and blessings amidst magic" (nagpapaka deep lang po ako ng onti! hahaha). But seriously, the trip was indeed magical. Worth every sweat and stress we experienced along the way.

True to form ang mga bloopers ko. Andyan yung muntik akong di makasama kasi naiwan ko ang passport ko sa bahay. Ano nga daw ang tawag dun? Strike one. Strike two-- wrong gate ang pinilahan (but it turned out to be right naman!) kaya naranasan naming mapage sa LCCT ng di oras (calling passengers xxx,xxx,xxx,xxx...iiwan na kayo ng eroplano!). Strike three, four, five and so on---ilang beses akong muntik mabalian during the entire trip dahil naiisipan ko laging mag acrobatics (a.k.a mapatid, madulas, atbp). But of course these bloopers only made the trip more fun.

Upon arrival, adventure na ang paghahanap sa aming munting hotel. Nakatago kasi siya sa likod ng isang malaking karatulang-- People's Party of Cambodia. Di mo tuloy alam kung kami ay pupunta sa isang meeting de avance or mababakasyon sa bahay ng isang malayong kamag anak. Matapos mag settle kay "Auntie's House" sinimulan na agad ang grand tour. Nireview ni K (ang aming driver na sabi ni Jay ay kmukha ni chuckie dreyfus at romnick sarmenta kaso di namin talaga makita ang resemblance) ang itinerary kong ginawa at nirevise ito ayon sa format na naayon. Bumili kami ng temple pass (sorry po... di na pala kelangan ng passport pic--blooper number 9?), at pumasok na sa kakaibang mundo na ang tawag ay Angkor. It looked liked we were transported out into a totally different timezone! I was in total awe.

The photography outing started with the Angkor Thom temple (a,k.a. Angkor Thom's Cabin). Kasagsagan ng init ng araw pero game pa din kaming kumuha at magpose para macapture ang truly priceless moment na iyon. Ang daming mga turista, pati mga tour guide. May gwapo, maganda, pangit at mukhang paa. You name it. May kamukha pa si Oliver (kung siya ay may alopecia at ginawang isang GI). Ayos day 1 pa lang, ang dami na naming nalait.

Matapos ang isang oras na siesta (at shower! sa sobrang init, 3x a day kami maligo..), we found ourselves saying ooh and ahh at the Angkor Wat. Reg and Tina ventured inside the temples first while Jay and I took time to take the pictures outside. Sa sobrang tagal namin eh nasarahan tuloy kami ng temple. Di na kami umabot sa center part (the famous three towers of Angkor Wat) kasi sarado na for the day. We did witness a beautiful sunset though and finally I understood why the Angkor Wat was the most popular of all the temples. There was the "oomph" factor that you would feel when you enter its domain. We also had a side trip to the jewelry store. Sabi nga ni neighbor, "may papamana na ako sa aking mga anak.."

Day 1 ended with a good dinner at the Soup Dragon kung san may special menu of "Pork Escalopes (a.k.a. pork with HARM and cheese.. ano daw? sinaktan na baboy with queso?). Neighbor Ria found true love in the beef leklok (kaya everyday niya itong inorder) while Tina feasted on the veggies. Jay and I were introduced to Angkor Beer by K. Panalo siya! walang bitter aftertaste. The drinking session continued in our room along with Jay's magic show and the traditional tong its. Taob kami ni Jcool kay neighbor, kami ay mere mortals lamang..

Day 2 was spent visiting more temples starting with the Roulous Group. It was in the outskirts of the town but definitely worth the travel. May miniature version ng Angkor Wat pa. Then we visited Ta Prohm, the site of the movie Tomb raider. Among the ruins, this was the one that was most left untouched. So feeling mo talaga eh nasa jungle ka. I found myself doing an amazing race Ta Prohm version since tina and i couldnt find reg and jay. Buti na lang pumayag si tina sa idea kong bumalik sa pit stop kasi true enough andun na sila. Sa sobrang pagod ko, nakatulala na lang ako nung lunch. Pero syempre go pa din tayo. After a brief siesta (plus shower again!), we went to the market to go shopping and then off to Tonle Sap Lake. Medyo minalas kasi umulan kaya matapos ang ilang sandali we decided to head back to shore. Neighbor wasn't feeling well din plus nakakadepress din ang site ng mga boat people na nakatira along the river. It was so muddy on the walk back that I think I grew a couple of inches taller. Buti na lang andyan si Efren (It's a bird, it's a plane!, no its Efren!) para ireenact ang washing of the feet sa huling hapunan.Di nga lang niya hinalikan ang aming mga paa. hehe.

The rains didn't stop but fortunately we had beef noodle soup for dinner at this run down house. Tina and K had the pig's brain version while Jay, Reg and I had the normal version (di po ako ganung ka adventurous). Our Bill? 80,000! In khmer money lah! hahaha. Kala mo ang mahal eh no? Pero panalo talaga yung dinner na to- khmer version of the shabu shabu. One thing I love about Cambodia, there's no such thing as bad food. Lahat masarap! yummy! After dinner we headed to Auntie's house (a.k.a. our hotel) and then had another drinking/pusoy dos session. Nakakainis yung taga sira ng plan ko for world domination, talagang ayaw akong papanalunin. Buti na lang napagbalasa din namin siya sa dulo.

On Sunday morning we decided to revisit Angkor Wat. Jay and I wanted to see the other parts we missed while Reg wanted to re-experience the temple minus the mud. Finally I got to take my beautiful pictures of the famous Angkor Wat. Career nga lang ang pag akyat sa matarik na hagdan! We visited another temple afterwards (nakalimutan ko ang name basta siya ay dirediretsong pinto), before finally calling our temple tour a success. We even got to ride a tuktuk kasi may tinataguan na fans si Gidiyap (5 for 1 dollah! buy 10 for 1 dollah!) na paboritong dumugin ng mga vendors. haha.

For our last lunch in Cambodia, K took us to this carinderia by the river. At 1.50 USD per order, it was a total bargain. We ate over 10 dishes plus drinks and paid only 20USD. Ayos! My favorite was the pork ribs ( in khmer, they call it... pork rip.. a.k.a. pinilas na baboy!).Of course di nawala ang ever favorite beef leklok ni neighbor.

The rest of the day was spent shopping for souvenirs and bags. We all got matching North Face Backpacks for a real bargain. Idol sa baratan si Neighbor. Wala kong masabi. Talagang level up! Talented talaga si neigbor..pati pick up skills ay level up. Imagine, 1 boylet a day ang kanyang record. Hmm.. eh ako? nah.. change topic please.

After a two hour shopping spree (bought some dri fit shirts from nike and addidas), we went back to the hostel and rested a bit. K picked us up at 930pm to take us to the Pub street for dinner and drinks. We decided to eat at the Soup Dragon again and drink all the Angkor Beer we could drink. Kampay!!! Kulitan at its finest.

Pagbalik sa hostel, it was time to pack up. Master packers in motion. May nangulit at nangurot pa on the side. kasalanan po niya yung pasa ko sa braso. ;) Nadiscover kong may talent pa pala ako sa wrestling.

Gumising kami ng maaga kanina para mag breakfast in bed este picnic in bed pala under my romantic dimmer light (hep! wholesome picnic po ito). Ang aga kumatok ni Jay para daw may oras pa makipag chickahan with Doro the explorer..At 6:20 am, K picked us up for the last time to take us to the airport. Back to reality na.

The master packer status still holds- Jay was the ulitmate master packer at 14.2 kg, followed by neighbor at 13.6 and me at 13.1. Si tina,kulang pa sa practice. 9.6kg lang. newbie.

Ganung kabilis ang apat na araw. May separation anxiety nga daw kami sabi ni neighbor. Ang tagal kasi plinano ng trip na to. At one point sa sobrang tagal, nakalimutan na namin siya. Nawala na ang excitement. Pero nung dumating, parang kay bilis natapos. Bukas back to work na muli. buti pa sina jay eh naka 1 day leave pa. A part of me wished it didn't end yet. Siguro nga kasi sa loob ng apat na araw na yon, I saw a world totally different from mine and I got to experience it with some very special folks.

What else could you ask for right?

Usapang Pag Ibig ni Bob Ong

I'm reposting this from Neighbor Ria who reposted it also from her friend Maita who crossposted from her friend, Tricia's blog (pahaba ng pahaba ang references... oops not in APA format)

=================================

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."

- ay parang John lloyd line ito!

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."
- kailan ko magagamit itong linyang ito. MY TURN! MY TURN! (I agree Neighbor!)

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
- baka mapikot ka at di ka na makabitaw

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
-may mga taong sadyang ganito. mahilig humawak ng kung ano ano

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

- kasi may ibang tao ayaw maglakad sa hagdan...

6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo. Dapat lumandi ka din."

- Amen =) . All is fair in love and war ika nga...

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na
araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
- Whatever!

8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."
- "Remove the bandaid agad.. wag maging masochista... " But yeah likas sa tao ang maging tanga

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.

Kaya quits lang."
- Kaya nga tinatawag na "It's Complicated"

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."
- hmmm... in feyrness may sense

11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."
- Hep! Sounds Familiar..."Wala naman sa usapan natin na you will fall in love with me."

12. "Huwag magmadali sa lalaki o babae. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.

- Papanget din siya.

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."
- Youre nothing but a second rate trying hard... second choice. Ouch!

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."
- hep!hep! Kaya maging kapuso ka na lang.. Ikaw pa ang Bida.

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

- Regrets come too late kung asa kabilang dulo na ng mundo ang tinalikuran mo. Mahal ang ticket ngayon sa eroplano.

16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.”
- does this qualify as "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"? letseng mga hirit yan.. hehe..affected... ( I agree neighbor!)

17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”
- Denial and projection and tawag diyan.

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sma ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

- At the end of the day, tayo ang namimili na maging TANGA.

19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

- But then again.. we need to take risks. minsan wagi, minsan plakda.. weather weather lang yan..

20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka."

-or dahil mahal mo lang talaga siya.. hep!

Wag Ka Iiyak: I hate Goodbyes

Momsy left for Manila tonight after a brief visit to KL. We spent our last full day together going around the Orchid and HIbiscus Parks in Taman Tasik Perdana and shopping for souvenirs and clothes in Central Market and KLCC.

My mom loved the Orchid Garden. She kept asking me to take pictures of every possible orchid she could set her eyes on. Sabi niya, babalikan na lang niya ang memory in the pictures that I took. She also enjoyed shopping at Central Market. Akala niya nung una, palengke talaga ang pupuntahan namin. Nagulat siya nung pagpasok namin eh airconditioned ang palengke. Daig pa daw ang GH. Hehehe. We had lunch after in Nandos in KLCC and then we hit Isetann Mall's sale. At 80% off my mom couldn't resist not buying new beddings for her bed at home. It's so cheap, it's a sin not to buy it. We went clothes shopping and I got to buy a new suit. Back in Manila, I used to be mommy's personal driver during sunday trips to SM City/MOA/Galeria/Megamall and whenver she'd go shopping, I always get the little treats. I know I'm too old to be shopped for by my mom but I know my mom also loves knowing that I'm still her little girl. Kanina sinuggestan pa niya ako ng isang frou frou blouse (with heart design). Only my mom would suggest that I wear that. hehehe. The color was great but the design was just too Ms. V for my taste.hahaha.

After buying out most of the sale and getting her supply of shisheido products (i swear dapat lang gaganda ka sa mahal ng produkto nila), we went to Galeri Petronas to view their latest collection. Mom was so happy. Buti pa daw sa malaysia libre ang museum. She soaked in the art as if they were meditative tools. By the time we got to Kinokuniya, my mom was in Seventh Heaven. Books, books, and books.

We ended our shopping trip with a good coffee break at the Dome courtesy of Skylark's ninong. Mom finally got her new toy back. Yehey ayos na siya! I got so hyper after drinking the coffee. It was a good thing coz I needed all the energy I had to pack Mom's suitcase and give her a crash course on how to operate her new toy while helping two friends with their respective bloopers. Multitasking at its finest.

At 1030, I brought momsy to the airport together with neighbor and my suking taxi driver Mr. Jason. By 1145, momsy and I finally said goodbye. Tapos na ang bakasyon. I didn't cry or I did my best not to cry. Bawal daw kasi mag emote sabi ng isang tao. "Wag ka iiyak" But I guess I just couldnt help but miss momsy a bit more tonight. After all I waited 2 years for this event. And parang kay bilis lang. Tapos na agad ang matagal na pinagplanuhan. Fortunately neighbor was there to make me feel less lonely and may clown na malakas mang asar. They both kept me less sad. And for that I am grateful. Sabi ko nga eh pagbigyan na ako just for tonight. Minsan lang ako magpakita na ako'y mere mortal lamang. hehehe.

I just hate goodbyes. Till our next gimik momsy..

Ang Pagbisita ni Maria sa KL

My mom is here is for a visit. It's just a short one. In fact mamayang gabi uuwi na siya. Ayos kasi gumawa ng flight booking eh.

Start pa lang blooper na dahil ang sinabi niya eh dadating daw siya via Tiger Air. Pagdating ko ng LCCT, ayos, walang tiger air dun. Panic ng onti but thanks to my online technical support, nadiscover ko na she gave me the wrong airline (note: Tiger air doesnt fly to KL from Bangkok). 2 hours later, my mom finally appeared. She took Airasia..haha. We finally got to my condo around 1:30am.

We haven't been to a lot of places because of the time limitation. I've taken her to my university and she met my closest friends in KL. On Thursday, I took her to see Nottingham. She met my officemates there and discovered our newly revived restaurant (hahaha.. spicy food alert!). Then we went shopping for her new toys (laptop + cellphone) in low yat with Angeli and Jay. Ang gagaling ng bargaining powers nila! Mom discovered the wonders of restoran super noodle on thursday night. Then we took her to a night tour of KL via the monorail on our way back home.

Di pa din mawawala ang bloopers syempre. The laptop had a bad sector and it kept on going bluescreen. So we had to take it back (and have it replaced) yesterday. Nag amazing race malaysia ako sa taxi as my technical adviser had only an hour's lunchbreak. hehe. Buti na lang naayos din. And my mom will finally get her much anticipated toy today.

Of course di mawawala ang trip to the bookstore. Yesterday, Reg and I took her to Borders in Berjaya Times Square to shop for books. Nalula si mudra sa dami ng selection. Ang sarap daw mamili. hehehe.. That's my mom, she'll trade jewelry shopping or any shopping for that matter for her books. After the shopping trip at borders (and with the promise na meron pang susunod bukas) we made our way to Ampang Point to eat at the Korean bbq place that my friends and I discovered a couple of months ago. (sabi ni mother, halatang kung saan saan ako dinadala ng aking food trip). Late man dumating yung dalawang taga bundok ng Petronas (sige na nga matraffic naman kasi), enjoy naman kaming lahat. Pigged out in yummy pork bbq'd the Korean way and got a bit tipsy on the Soju. My mom enjoyed telling her Emily Rose story (nakatulog ka ba charles? hehe) during the moomoo discussion.

This is not my finest moment as a tour guide pero given the weather and the time constraint, madami na din kaming naaccomplish. Sana nga di pa tapos ang bakasyon ni mudra. But of course, good things must come to an end. Back to reality ika nga. Haay.. eto ang ayaw ko sa mga pagdating ng bisita-- ang panahon ng pag uwian.

Pero may oras pa naman.. mamaya pa ang flight. Mamasyal pa kami.. Enjoy the last day ika nga..

Defining a Good Day

Define a Good Day.

Its when you wake up without expecting anything out of the ordinary to come your way but ending up getting surprised.

It's when you are dead tired from a long and tiring activity and someone makes you feel that you can still find the energy to laugh and just be happy.

It's listening to the silliest songs while learning about magic.

It's hanging around, doing nothing, without care for the world.

It's finding a good buy (new tripod!) in the middle of a somehow boring photography fair.

It's eating nachos and drinking beer, making walking in the rain oh so worth it.

It's when you get good news one after the other despite the fact that you are sick.

It's when you receive a teddy bear from a sister who is sorely missed or an email from a friend who brings the good news of a thesis finally finished.

It's when you get to share the day with the people who matters to you.

A good day is like a magic card trick. You never know when it's coming but when it does come, everything just seem to fall rightfully in their place.

For the Love of Photography: Malaysia Moto GP 2008

5:15am, Linggo ng Umaga-- Kasalukuyang nasa gitna ako ng isang masyang panaginip (actually di ko na maalala pero lam ko nanaginip ako), biglang sa panaginip ko may nag ring. May tumatawag. Gumising ako bigla at nag hello.. "gising na.. magbreakfast ka na" yan ang bati sa kin ng aking human alarm clock. Napaisip ako, anong oras na ba? May 15 minutes pa ko dapat. Pwede bang tumawad? Ay hindi.. Tumayo na ko at nagbihis. Matapos ang 45 minutes (new record sa banyo), dali daling umalis ng Endah Villa upang makipagkita sa aking mga kapicturan na sina Jay, Rey & Stanley.

Ganyang kaaga kami gumising upang mapanood ang Malaysian Moto GP Race sa Sepang Race Circuit. Fan ba ko? Nope. Never watched the Moto GP race before. In fact, wala pa kong race na napapanood ever. Familiar ako sa F1 pero sa totoo lang ang alam ko lang na race eh yung sa Sta Ana (nadadaanan ko kasi dati pag hinahatid ko sa ves sa manila. hehe).

9:30 am asa Sepang na kami. Nag ikot ikot, nag picture ng mga cutie beybs (may nagpakodak pa) at nagbalak mag shopping ng motorsiklo (isa pa to! di pa din ako nakakasakay ng motor!). Imagine may mga bikes dun na mas mahal pa sa bahay ko sa Pilipinas. What the hell? Bisekleta lang?! Masaya na po ako sa aking mountain bike na kinalawang na (last time kong ginamit, naghahanap ako ng clutch. hehehe).

5 hours later nagsimula na din ang Moto GP. Naka ilang practice run muna, at mga preliminary races (ma at pa.. yung picture lang ang pakialam ko) bago nagsimula ang main event. By then 2pm na. Halatang nagugutom na si Gidiyap dahil nakailang tanong na siya ng "saan tayo kakain?" (one million ringgit question na ata ito!). Kahit ako gutom na din. Pero dahil love natin ang photography, carebears kung magka ulcer tayo.

Matapos ang lahat, di ko pa din kilala sino ang mga kasali sa Moto GP. Habang palabas kami tinanong ko si Jay, "so sino nga ba ang nanalo?" Ayos. 5 hours kong inintay di ko man lang alam sino ang nag winner takes it all. Sabi ni Jay si Valentino Rossi daw (hmm.. I still don't know him). Dapat pala ang tinanong ko, "sino ba ang kasali sa moto gp?" Halatang iisa lang talaga ang mission ko sa galang iyon-- ang makakuha ng isang disenteng litrato. Grabe, matapos ang daan daan na kuha (nagkaubusan na kami ng memory cards buti na lang andyan si Digimate para higupin ang mga litratong kuha namin), di ko alam kung ilan dun ang papasa sa quality control. Ang hirap pala ng sports photography.

Pero masaya ako kasi may mga bago na naman akong aral na natutunan--

1) kung may photogala, matulog ng maaga. Maging maagap. Kundi matatalo ang clusivol motto na bawal magkasakit.

2) Magbaon ng sunblock. Grabe ang init sa Sepang. Umuwi kami na may libreng blush on sa pisngi at ilong. May picture ka na may libreng skin cancer pa!

3) Length matters. Sa larangan ng sports photography importante ang may mahabang lens. Gusto ko na ng 70-200mm! hahaha.. Sino kaya ang magreregalo sa kin nito? Wish ko lang!

4)Mag occular inspection. Hanapin agad ang pinaka magandang pwesto (note: yung may pinaka okay na view-both ng pipicturan mo at ng mga sisilipan mo).

5)Masarap ang shaker fries ng mcdo. Well kapag gutom ka na, lahat masarap. And yes, Gidiyap, Size does matter (hahaha..) kasi ang large coke ay mas masarap kesa sa medium coke

6) Patience is a virtue. Sa haba ng pagiintay ko sa moto gp na yan, talagang na stretch si patience. Not to mention kelangan mong makipag hide and seek sa araw kasi ginugulo niya ang settings ng camera ko.

7) Be friendly. Taob kami hands down sa Mr. Friendship ng grupo-- sino pa eh di si bossing. He not only made a new friend eh kinalimutan agad ang name, "ano nga ba pangalan mo? Rey diba?" Ay mali. Melvin pala.

8)Taghirap ang cute sa Sepang. Mamimili ka lang sa mga Janno Gibbs (borrow neighbor's term), o mga mukhang paa (o sige, para politically correct, visually unpleasant).Madaya, kasi madaming eye candies sina Rey, Jay at Stanley. Pero ako, Wala! waah!

9) Maging WAIS. Itago ang mga contraband items sa tamang taguan. Ang aking mga baong candy ay nakatakas sa inspection salamat sa secret compartment ko,

10) Focus and Be Alert. Mabilis ang daan ng mga motor. kaya dapat, alive, alert & enthusiastic lagi.

At the end of the day, tinanong ko ang sarili ko, ba't ko ba ginawa tong self torture na to-- mainit, nakakagutom at nakakapagod. Isa lang ang sagot-- pag may mission ka, kahit gano pa kahirap, kakacareerin. At nung Sunday, iisa lang ang mission namin-- ang makukuha ng isang magandang litrato na maipagmamalaki naming ipost sa flickr.

Time to hit the editing room..

Imagined Conversations (ang mga linya nina John Lloyd at Sarah)

Ang mga powerhouse lines...

Pano kung bigla kang sabihan ng ganito..

“Because there’s so much pain in your heart, kaya hindi mo mararamdamang mahal kita.”

Sagutin mo ng ganito...

“Don’t make me feel I have to love you back.”

At pag sinabi niyang....

“Mapapagod ka lang umasa.Mapapagod ka lang maghintay Mapapagod ka lang umasang mamahalin ka.”

Eto ang ultimate finale line...

“Kahit minsan hindi ko naramdamang nakakapagod kang mahalin…Ngayon lang.”

Sabi sa movie, "maniwala tayo sa goodness". Sige I will do my best. sana pag gising ko naniniwala pa din ako. I love John Lloyd movies jologs na kung jologs.. i lab it!

"Basta ang mahalaga di ka pa ubos. Andyan ka pa rin. Para pag dumating yung taong magmamahal sa yo, may maibabalik ka pa.”

Nalalapit na ang Paghihiwalay (Sana)

Malapit na ang paghihiwalay namin ng aking munting puting kaibigan. Ilang buwan na din kaming magkasama kahit san man ako mapunta. Mapa Manila, Davao, hanggang hongkong, vietnam at china, magkasama kami. Minsan naiwan ko siya, talagang bumalik pa ako ng bahay para sunduin siya.

Siya si prednisone a.k.a. life saviour ko for the past three months. Dahil sa kanya ang aking platelets ay umakyat sa lebel na normal. Kanina matapos ang isa na namang masakit na pagdonate ng dugo sa isang injection, sinabi ni doc rudy (a.k.a my hematologist), isang buwan na lang at magpapaalam na si pred (barring any hitches.. kaya project platelets muli tayo the next 4 weeks). Hanging tough ang aking platelet count kanina sa bilang na 156,000 (sabit lamang kami sa normal! hehe).. Pero enough pa din para muling mabawasan ang pagsasama namin ni prednisone. Mula sa 1 tab a day, ngayon 1 tab every other day na lang.

good job.

sa mga tao at hayop (miss yah polie!) na nagpapataas ng aking mga platelets, salamat.. Bagay tayo. Bagay.. (pinipilit ang linya! hahahaha)..

It's Complicated

Oliver showed me a nice entry from his friend this morning. There was a quote there that struck me. So I'm reposting that quote here.

COMPLICATED

It’s when you don’t know where you stand in a person’s life.
It’s when you are hanging on to dead air and knowing you can be thrown off anytime.
It’s like when you are more than friends but not really.
And it’s like you are lovers when it’s really otherwise.
Sometimes, you would want to wish to have never met that person at all,
But at the back of your mind, you are thankful you have

Who wants complications? I know I don't. But I think the reason why we gravitate towards it is because the excitement of it makes life interesting and if for some reason its the only way to be with someone you want to be with, the complication gives you that spark of hope that one day things might end differently. But then again, its a matter of choice isn't it? Ang tanong diyan eh gano ka tatagal sa complication? hanggang kelan ka magtitiyaga?

Ika nga ni Laida, maniwala na lang sa goodness.

hahaha...

The Great Adobo Challenge

For those who read my previous entry.. this is the adobo story that I promised to write..

Kung may isang ulam na dati rati ay proud na proud akong lutuin, yun ay ang adobo. Grade 3 ata ako nung una ko siyang natutunan lutuin. At sa dinamidami ng versions na alam ko, kahit nakapikit maluluto ko ito (hep! wala munang kokontra!). Until today. Sabi ko nga ke neighbor, ilang milyong beses ko na siguro niluto ang adobo and kanina ko lang nakuha ang tanging reklamo (o siya maliban dun sa time nakalimutan ko siya at nasunog ito) about my ever favorite pinoy dish.

Maalat ang adobo. See I told you, walang kokontra... Promise di ko talaga malasahan ang alat (hmm my tastebuds must be haywire?). Pero sabi ng aking food critic, maalat daw. Plus minasaker ko daw ang pakpak ng manok at namukhang minced chicken siya (they just crumbled you know! haha). A for effort ang grade ko but S for Salty sa taste. May kanta pa yang katumbas (pano nga uli yun? basta asa tune ng london bridge.. kanina LSS ko yun eh).

My self confidence went down the drain (o sige table ng Nando's). Sama mo pa diyan ang blooper ng itlog na pula (Itlog na maalat) na di lang kulay itim dito sa malaysia eh kelangan pa palang lutuin (malay ko bang may option pala sa malaysia na fried salted egg or scrambled salted egg..Sa tin naman iisa lang ang pulang itlog.. at siya ay luto). Parang bigla tuloy akong napaisip--Marunong pa ba akong magluto? (Lasagna will be my redemption!) Sabi ni Food Critic may saving grace naman daw ako-- masarap daw ang garlic fried rice.

But in fairness, the criticism was constructive (with a lot of pang-aasar on the side). Di tayo pikon so we should learn to take criticism with a grain of salt (hep! maalat again!). Although ilang beses ko din siyang muntik masaksak ng tinidor and nabatukan, I must admit, nabusog ako agad sa kakatawa (hmm.. bagong diet tip ito). Saka nainsulto man ng husto ang aking formerly world famous adobo, naubos din naman nila (kasi gutom daw sila.. sige na nga!). So all's well ends well.

So now there is a challenge- My food critic told me that he would cook me an adobo that would cause me to forget my name in the process (talaga lang ha!). Papakita daw niya kung pano ang tunay na pagluto ng adobo. Sige na nga, payag na ako.ng malaman ang katotohanan (mataas ang standards ko!). basta aabangan ko yan.. Teka kelan ba yon? For my part, I will be making my famous lasagna again (so lets rename this as the adobo vs lasagna challenge) and I promise to redeem m myself.

at sisiguraduhin ko ng luto ang itlog na maalat.

Sana may application na ganito sa facebook.. ang saya siguro nun.. :P

Went Up The Waterfalls and came down with a New Toy

I went up the mountains of Selangor today to take photos of the Sungai Chongkak waterfalls. It was a totally different experience for me since it was my first time to take serious photographs in a forest setting. I woke up early (5:30am) to prepare my gear (Lesson 1: always remember your battery, diba?) and dress up. After breakfasting at Mcdonalds (Lesson 2: tradition eto..bawal ibreak), we were on our way to experience the ice cold streams of Sungai Chongkak in the state of Selangor.

My first impression was that the waters were kind of deep (lesson 3: fashionwise, mali ang uniform natin! ang kulet kasi.. mag uniform nga dapat..) But what the heck, a serious photographer will wade through mud if needed to take that one perfect shot right? So ayan, nagpaka dyesebel kuno ang lola niyo at lumusong sa ubod ng lamig na tubig.Ilang beses din akong muntik madulas at madapa (Lesson 4: Dignity and Decorum). Syempre kelangan set ang priorities-- Camera first before safety. Mahulog na ang lahat wag lang ang camera.

But I will tell you this. It was worth it. I learned to use the ND filter set thanks to my mentor (and number 1 taga asar!) and learned a new skill in landscape photography. I never thought I could capture those sceneries in exactly the way I envisioned them to be. I was happy even if my butt was wet and I had to take a pee inside the "gabi ng lagim" like hole they called a toilet (lesson 6: dont look, just pee). hahaha.

On the way back we stopped by the Semenyih Dam and the lookout point where we not only got to take gorgeous landscape photos of the dam but we also witnessed a very interesting "scenery" on a nearby car at the lookout point. hahaha. Panalo talaga ang telescopic eyes ng aking mga kasama.. napansin pati ang pumping scene (ewwww) na nagaganap sa aming tabi(Lesson 7: pag may balak gawin, siguraduhing walang makakakita)

After a long late lunch and Nando's with matching pangaasar from my food critique (Lesson 8: sige na! maalat na ang adobo! huhuhu... abangan na lang ang entry dito..) na may matching kanta pa (eraserheads? di ko kasalanan bat nagkahypertension si ely buendia no), we went to look for a camera strap (strap lang!) but ended up going on a retail therapy mode (Lesson 9: always have an excuse: my excuse-malungkot ako sa adobo;his excuse-kelangan ni hazel ng kadamay) and bought a new lens. It's the lens that I was once told to "be a sin if you don't have it"- 50 mm lens from canon. For just 370RM (with UV and close up filters, I had a new toy. Although it was totally out of my plans for the month, I couldn't resist the great deal (Lesson 10: happy naman tayo diba?) so I withdrew from my grief allowance (Lesson 11: meron pala ako nun) and bought a new toy for my favorite toy (of course ano pa? Hep!eh di yung camera!) Nagamit ko ang aking convincing powers (di daw effective pero Bad influence daw ako...hmm... sino kaya?) and napabili din si guru although mas sosyal yung kanya (Lesson 12: happy ka naman diba?)

So I went up to see the waterfalls and ended up with a new toy-- thanks to my lovely credit card and the convincing powers of one photoaddict like me... Masamang combination daw kami. Sa susunod iwanan ang credit card sa bahay. hahaha.

Kasalanan to ng adobo eh.. at nang api sa adobo..peace :P

My Weekend Date

I had another date yesterday with the dentist . I woke up in so much pain so I decided that I will see her and find a way to get rid of the terrible feeling once and for all. The verdict? I needed a root canal. Just the thought of having one scared the living daylights out of me. I've always been afraid of dentists and ever since the mere mention of the words "bunot, pasta, drill, injection,etc" is enough to make me run for the door. But yesterday I had to face a choice-- live in pain for the the rest of my days here or face my fears. And since I couldn't stand the piercing pain that was giving me migraines, I semi agreed to the procedure (semi lang coz were on a we shall see agreement depending on the state of things..and the state of my wallet! hahaha). The dentist placed me on double dosage of anesthesia and for the next 1.5 hours drilled her way to my roots. I was high on anesthesia but was still so tense that I had to ask for two bathroom breaks to relieve my bladder. I focused on the most mundane things on the cieling to distract myself (symetrical pala ang lahat ng sides ng water sprinklers at slightly blurred pala ang print ng brand na philips sa flourescent lamps nila..). At times I would look spaced out that the dentist would ask me every couple of minutes or so if I was okay. I told her I was focusing my energies on thinking about happy thoughts and she laughed. Every ounce of courage that I had was tested to the limits especially when I started seeing all those tiny needles. I really hate needles. But I had no choice. I had to be brave.

I left the dentist past 2:30 in the afternoon, tired and hungry but proud of myself that I survived . I couldn't feel my face and I felt my smile was a bit weird. I was warned about eating as I might accidentally bite myself. I met my cheering brigade at Sogo where I had my first real meal for the day-- chicken nuggets and fries from mcdo. Syempre puro pangaasar inabot ko (pero patawarin natin since pinatawa naman ako the whole day which i must admit kept me sane..) since I was not only eating so slowly, I couldn't even bring my lips together to sip the iced lemon tea! bwahaha.. panalo. Para kong may bell's palsy (tama ba ang ispelling?) Wala pa din silang Yoda so di pa wagi ang collection namin. After eating, I did some retail therapy and bought a gift for my mentor, Pabu. When I got home, I fell asleep almost immediately. Saka na lang ang quest ko for 1M points in bejewelled. 2 Rest muna. Hayaan na nating manalo si gidiyap for now.

A whole weekend with the dentist. It wasn't exactly the weekend I had hoped for. I had a different gimik in mind. But I guess life has its way of surprising us. And despite everything, I did have a good weekend. I may have cried a lot but I did laugh a lot. Di man natuloy ang original plans ko, nagkaron naman ng mga ibang plans na masasaya din. Andyan ang birthday ni Kobet na puno ng kulitan, ang telethon na nang ubos ng load ko at ang mga tawag nga mga taong chineer up ako the whole day pati ang phone calls ni mamsy at ang mcdonalds chicken nuggets with bbq sauce.

Most of all I realized how many people do actually care for me (Thanks!) And for that I feel blessed.

In Pain

My tooth hurts. I had a filling replaced yesterday because for 2 days it was hurting slightly. Now that hurting has worsened. And I don't know what to do with myself. The dentist told me to take mild pain relievers like panadol. But I know panadol cannot alleviate this nerve pain. Half my face is already in pain.

What makes things worse is that taking pain meds is not exactly an option for me. Ever since I can remember, they have been one of the triggers of my ITP relapses. And my platelets right now is not exactly at an optimum level. I just can't risk it. Even at a stable level of 112,000 (as of 3 weeks ago), it's still not normal. I just hope I can stand the pain a little bit longer. Otherwise I might need to break my " in case of emergency" glass and take that medicine that I know will remove the pain but might cause havoc to my count. And honestly, my psychological powers is being tested already to its limits. I seriously need a distraction...

just breathe..

My Travelogue

Ella and I were talking recently about our travels when she realized that I travelled at least once a month this year. I didn't even notice. Looking back I didn't realize how much I've travelled that past 9 months and how much travels I still have to look forward to the next 3 months.

January-- Davao (for the new year); Back to KL (January 13)
February-- Bangkok with Angeli for my Birthday; Pulau Penang with Jay, Tina and Wilai
March-- Pulau Redang with Jay, Tina, and Wilai
April -- Day trip to Melaka with Anthony and Jesse; Overnight in Port Dickson with Anthony
May-- wala.. (ata..)
June-- Cameron Highlands with Jay, Reg, and Tina
July-- 5 weeks of no weekends due to work so I had to stay put. Plus I landed in the hospital
's ER
August-- Manila and Davao (with momsy, anthony, and the rest of the PAP folks)
September-- wala pa (start pa lang eh..) pero dadating si Oliver next week so gala again
October-- Hongkong Cruise with Angeli and her family (with Stopovers to China and Vietnam)
November-- Cambodia with Jay, Reg and Tina
December-- Philippines again with a "Tara Byahe Tayo theme" (for short, gala time again)

Whew! The list alone makes me feel tired. It is by far from exhaustive. May mga "not to be mentioned" trips here and there pa yan. hahaha.

None of these trips were planned when the year started. Most of them were spur of the moment thingies with the exception of Cambodia and my Xmas trip home. The rest were hatched and planned mostly 1 week or so before the actual date. The shortest planned was Penang which was hatched less than 24 hours before we departed. Our trip to Redang got moved because of the rains so in our effort to find a replacement "byahe," and thanks to the wonders of the internet, my friends and I got sidetracked to Pulau Penang where I ate the nicest food ever.

The list made me realize that the reason I'm poorer this year is because I spend most of my money on plane, bus and boat tickets all over. But what the heck, we're supposed to do what makes us happy right?

Reg and I made a pact that before we move back to the Philippines, we'd travel the entire southeast asia region first. I think I am well on my way to achieving that goal.

Tara Byahe Tayo...

One Rainy Day

I was supposed to go out this afternoon. Unfortunately KL's erratic moonsoon weather didn't cooperate with us. So I ended up staying at home and fixing my room (or shall I say attempted to do so). I had brunch with my neighbor atebillie, tita nitz and K earlier before I had my date with the dentist in carrefour (lost a filling two days ago). I even did my version of singing in the rain walking back from c4 to endah villa. Fortunately no one witnessed my near slip in the foyer downstairs. After talking in Skype with a friend I decided to rest and and take a nap.

I think I got about 15-20 minutes rest before my prednisone induced mania kicked in and pushed me out of bed. I cleared the bed and kept my clothes that were laying around. After that I fixed the mess all over my room. With nothing else to do, I browsed the net for some vacation tips and ended up talking to my student about Cambodia travel tips. I googled my way out of boredom and ended up making an itinerary for our adventure in November. Funny, how life finds a way to keep you occupied.

It's quite ironic that there are days when you seem to have no time on your hands to fit everything that needs to be done. Then there are days like this when you have so much time on your hands.

Gutom na ko.. Makakain na nga lang...

Fasting Month Moments

Last monday, I was having dinner with two friends in the mall when we were asked by the waiter if we wanted to wait for buka puasa before our food would be served. Hungry as we were, we had to quickly explain to the waiter that we were not Muslims and were not fasting. That was the second time I got questioned about my eating during Ramadan since I moved to Malaysia two years ago. Funny, coz I've always taken it for granted that I was a non-Muslim in a predominantly Muslim country. At times I would find myself confused as to why people were staring at me when I would eat during the fasting month. I tend to forget that I look like a local. My friends also looked local. So it came as no surprise when we were stopped from eating.

The same thing happeend on Wednesday when the server at Nando's was apparently waiting until buka puasa to take our order. I was so hungry and was constantly signalling the waiter to please come and take our order. When they realized that we were not fasting, ayun pina order din kami.

I can't imagine myself ever fasting. Yung 2x a year requirement nga ng Catholic church never ko pang nagawa. I've always had the excuse since I was hyperacidic. I can abstain from pork during the holy week but to actually stop me from eating anything is impossible. That's why I really admire those who can.

10 Lessons Learned at the Merdeka Parade Through the Eyes of a Would Be Photographer

10. The Early Bird catches the Worm este the train-- Di pa sumisikat ang araw lumayas na ako ng endah villa. 6:15am exacto tumawid ako sa carrefour para habulin ang bus. Umabot. Kaso pag dating sa LRT wala pang train. Kakaalis lang niya. Dapat pala mas maaga pa ako sa 615. 15 loong minutes later may dumating din kaya't nakaalis din ako sa kadiliman ng istasyon ng Sri Petaling. May araw na ng dumating ako sa Mcdo Masjid Jamek, just in time para sa aming 7:00-7:15 meeting time nina gidiyap at stanley (yahoo di ako late!)

9. Patience is a virtue-- Kung balak mong maging isang ganap na photographer, kelangan patient. Never take no for a final answer ("no deal!") at wag magpapadeter sa mga pulis na mukhang masusungit. Ika nga na aking "guru" paglumingon yung bantay sa kabila, diretso na lang ang lakad. After all, only the brave gets the gold.

8. Height is might-- disadvantage talaga ang "cute" pag gusto mo maging photographer. Puro ulo ang makikita mo sa lugar na siksikan tulad ng Dataran Merdeka. Pero sa singitan, panalo ka. Pwede kang sumuot sa mga lugar na di kaya puntahan ng mga giants. Wag ka lang papahuli sa gwardya kundi matutulak ka palabas.

7. Check your gears-- wag na wag sasabak sa labanan na di kumpleto ang arsenal. Sa gitna ng parade, biglang nagdilim ang langit. Narealize ko na wala akong payong. Patay. Kung ano ano tuloy na battle plan ang naisip namin just in case umiyak ang kalangitan. Syempre ang first order of the rains ay protect the camera at all cost unless waterproof ang camera mo.

6. Mag Costume-- Kung balak maging photographer, kelangan eh live the look. Di ka lulusot sa gwardya sibil kung di ka mukhang press people. Diyan ko idol yung manong sa LRT. Kumpleto sya from camera to vest to tripod to even a hat. panalo. Gusto ko nga siyang tanungin kung may antenna pa siya ni ernie baron sa vest niya kasi parang buong bahay niya ang nakasabit dito. Kaso wag na lang baka magalit eh or worse di niya magets.

5. Vanity is not a sin-- Di excuse ang pagbilad sa araw or paglalakad ng matagal para di maging well groomed. Kelangan ang kikay kit ay kasama sa list of must things to bring. Andyan ang towel, alcogel, facial wipes, tissue at syempre ang suklay. Samahan na din ng powder at leepistik kung may sisingitan ka pa. Remember, beauty is also a deadly weapon. Isang ngiti lang sa masusungit na bantay eh makakalampas ka kung maganda ka. :D

4. White & long is the best-- Kung ang lens mong bitbit ay kit lens, mere mortal ka lang sa merdeka parade. Kung naka telepoto ka, wagi ka. Kung naka L lens ka, ganda mo. Pero kung papalarin kang makagamit (or better yet eh magkaron ng kaibigan na papahiramin ka) ng isa sa high end fixed focal L lenses na kasing haba ng baril ang itsura, plus 1 million cutey points ka! Kanina natry ko ang 70-200 F2.8 Canon Lens at ang 100-400 Canon Lens. Wala akong masabi. Hanep. Parang nag dudumbbells ka nga lang sa bigat ang camera mo, pero men sulet the effort. Kahit ata yung langaw sa noo ng tao sa kabilang kalsada eh pwede mong kunan. Sabi nila "once you go black, you'll never go back." Mali. Once you go white, you'll wish you had a sugar mommy or daddy to buy you one. hehehe.

3. An empty tummy is a sad tummy-- Mahirap ang sumabak sa parade ng gutom. Mahaba ang program. Kaya kelangan bago ang lahat, magpakabusog muna. Kanina kumain kaming 3 sa mcdo bago pa man ang lahat. Hayaan na nating wala tayong maupuan sa parada. Ang importante, wag galitin ang mga alaga sa tiyan... oo nga pala, wag din kalimutan magbaon ng tissue, para sa call of nature after. hehe.

2.Mahirap ang Buhay Paparrazzi-- Grabe pala ang pagod na inaabot ng mga taong humahabol kina Britney Spears at Madonna. Kaya naman pala ganun na lang ang singil nila sa mga pictures nila. Ang buhay ng isang paparazzi ay parang buhay ng isang nakatakas na preso. Tago ng tago sa mga humahabol na bantay. Matututo kang gumapang, lumuhod, tumayo, humiga, atbp makuha lang ang tamang anggulo ng litratong gusto mo. Lahat ng ways gagawin mo para lang makuha ang "that one perfect shot."

1. You must love me-- Yan ang sabi sa kin ng camera ko. It takes a form of passion and love to be a photographer. Di pwedeng half hearted commitment ang ibibigay mo sa hobby na ito. Bukod sa mabubutas ang bulsa mo, this passion requires all the heart you can give from composing the shot to taking and editing the pictures. It is a very expensive hobby-- both financially and emotionally (lalo na kung frustrated ka sa tinake mong pic). Pero I guarantee, it is something worth doing.

09/01/2008
1am

Worth Fighting For

Some things are meant to be let go of but there are things that no matter how hard, no matter how painful, you find a way to fight for it.

I told my best friend recently that she shouldn't let the chance of working things out with someone she had a misunderstanding with go especially when I know how much that friendship meant her. I jokingly told them both that they shouldn't let it escalate to the point that it would turn into a "me" and the "him" 2 years ago. And although I've moved on and have lived a generally happy and fulfilled life, that has always been a sad memory for me- the fact that I lost a good friend.For all the things that were said and done, we had 12 years of wonderful memories.

So I told my bestfriend... fight for the friendship and just tell the whole world to shut up. The world may try to dictate what you ought to do, but in the end, what you believe in is what matters. And at the end of the day, we stay with the ones we want to be with.

Sabi nga ni classmate, "Geniune Happiness for us!"

Laughter is the best Medicine

I just came from an impromptu coffee gimik with Idol. We walked from his hotel (sige na nga dorm) to the Damosa Gateway area to have coffee. After a whole day of listening to papers on adolescents and other "depressing" issues, it was a nice change of pace. We had a full day at the conference site. And we didn't exactly enjoy the food (lalo na ang depressing lunch). I was tired as from my presentation (at the same time agonizing over two other presentations I still have to do) and I just wanted to sit back and relax. So we ditched Momsi and went to the nearest coffee shop we could find. 

So we just sat there and laughed. We had some semblance of serious conversations every now and then but most of the time we just gossiped about the latest issues in town.. Mga pawang laitero talaga kami pag magkasama. Kawawa tuloy ang mga biktimang sina "Emerging Adulthood" at si "Forensic" (sama na din sina biboy, bibay, atbp).  I have this knack for making Idol laugh. Siguro likas lang akong funny or mukha akong clown?  

Nakakatuwang isipin na ang dami na naming nalakbay ni idol at madami dami na ding coffee shop ang aming nabisita.  We've been all over MM, Kuala Lumpur, and now Davao. It's nice to just be able to sit back and relax and just laugh your hearts out. As my friend Ronnie said this morning, happiness is the best cure for all ills! I totally agree.

Bukas balik presentation na naman.. Mag dedebut na ang tarp na dinesenyo nina gidiyap at mike. My mom is excited. "Proud Mama" is her persona tomorrow since the paper is a joint research between me and my sister Ves. I hope it would turn out well. 

Sana lang magising ako. hehehe.

Lifesavers

The past two days have been chaos thanks to my ever colorful life (sabi nga ni Joseph, "hazel, ang kulay ng buhay mo!") and my cramming nature (aaminin ko na i am getting to be good at this) plus the fact that I was reeling from some of the side effects of my medicines. I also had a lot of errands to do (bank, car tune up, papers, etc etc) for the house. But I made it (so far!) thanks to lifesavers and friends.

Sa dalawang araw na nakaraan, natutunan kong iappreciate ang aking mga kaibigan at pamilya na kahit taranta to the max na ko sa poster na yan eh "Go go go" pa din ang cheer (Thanks Mareng Divina). May greetings pa from as far away as the UK at KL to cheer me up all throughout the past two days.

Ang dami kong naabala dahil sa poster na yan. Sina Divina at Friendship Maan ay ilan lamang sa mga nagulo ang umaga (at gabi). May ginising pa ko ng ubod ng aga (kilala mo kung sino ka) para lang kulitin niya ang kanyang kaibigan na gawin ang disenyo ng poster ko. To think na busy busyhan din ang kanyang araw at nakatulugan ko siya nung gabi bago kahapon (hehe).

Nakakatuwa ding isipin na may mga taong kahit di ko pa man sila kilala pero handang tumulong sa isang eng eng sa larangan ng poster making na tulad ko. By the simple virtue na friend of a friend siya eh naging instant friends kami. Buong araw ko din siyang kinulit kulit sa text. Pati yung printer sa may Marikina na nirush ang aking tarpaulin kanina eh ang sarap yakapin. Minsan minsan lang na ang serbisyong pinoy ay with a smile pa. Sana lahat ng tindahan sa Pilipinas ganun.

In between all these chaos, I had visits and gimiks along the way. Oliver came by to visit and I enjoyed our impromptu merienda all the way to dinner chickahan while on standby sa aking tarpaulin design. Sumegway din kami ni ella, adrian, nicole at maam liza sa Dannylicious para muli kong matikman ang isaw at bbq na matagal ko ng inaasam. Kanina naman dumaan ako kina Len at George para sa ming traditional lunchout ni len pag ako ay umuuwi. Pancake house naman kami. Pinastahan din ni Witart ang aking ngipin. Good as new na siya.

Kalimutan na muna ang diet. Next week na lang muli.

Huling araw ko na pala sa Manila. Di ko man lang naramdaman.

Bukas Davao na!

Ang kulay ng buhay

Trains

11.08.2008
7:00am

Several years ago while driving to Manila, Ves and I found ourselves in a life and death situation. We got stuck in traffic along the railway tracks in espanya and the train was already coming. The cars around us were starting to panic yet I managed to just laugh about it. I don't know why but I was just sure that we'd get out of there alive. We managed to move just in time(syempre kung di just in time eh di wala na ako dito ngayon). That experience became our running joke that whenever we'd go through crap and stress, we'd always tell ourselves that if we got past the train in Espanya, we'd get past through anything.

Last night I had an "Espanya" moment. Maybe it was fatigue, the heat, the meds or a combination of them all but I wasn't doing well last night. When I got home from MOA I was suffering from my vertigo symptoms again and my head felt like it was splitting into two. Everytime I'd close my eyes the symptoms worsen. I had trouble breathing again. Add all those to my ever cramming nature and of course viola! I needed to finish a poster for the PAP conference on thursday and I found out that all my files were in KL. Then there's the issue of how to layout the poster for which I have no idea of (thank goodness may photoshop guru diyan..)

It became so bad last night that I just fell asleep because of the bad symptoms. I was supposed to talk to my friend about the poster layout and I didn't even here his messages. patay! Woke up around 1am only to realize that I totally missed the call.

Hay life. Exciting. May iniwan pang regalo si Large sa carpet.

Then I saw Ves' email this morning. She was having a crappy day herself. She wrote "wala naman akong jtaime powers against the Espanya train." And I found myself remembering-- I did it before. Why can't I bring myself to believe right now?

My sister believed in my panic mode powers. I nearly forgot I had that ability to withstand pressure despite everything. So maybe I need to just remind myself of that. I made it (well we made it) through the Espanya train. I can do this.

5 minutes of self pity over.

Back in Good Ol Pinas

08.08.08
7am. Pinas

Matapos lahat ng drama sa aking kalusugan, ako'y nasa bayan na naman ng Pilipinas. Wow! di ko akalain na aabot ako dito kahapon. Para akong addict sa dami ng gamot na nakapasok sa systema ko kahapon (steroids, anti side effect ng steroids, anti side effect ng side effect ng steroids, atbp) pero yun lang ang paraan para masurvive ko ang 4 na oras na lipad ng eroplano. Ilang araw din kasi akong hilong hilo dahil sa side effects ng gamot ko. Masyadong bumaba daw ang hemoglobin ko dahil sa dapsone. Kaya kinailangang tanggalin ito. Buti na lang si Mr. Platelets eh normal na so pwede na muna kaming magbreak ng dapsone.

Syempre may drama pa sa loob ng airasia. Di kami naka landing agad sa Pilipinas! haha. Unang beses kong naranasan na mag take two ang landing dahil sabi ng piloto "we were not fully prepared". Di ko alam anong ibig sabihin niya sa "fully prepared" (hmm nakalimutan niyang ibaba ang landing gear? prumeno? or na ccr na kaya siya?) pero yun na nga, kinailangan ang take two sa landing. Pagkababa, inabot ng santo santo ang aming maleta (kala mo naman napakalaki niya) at matapos ang kaunting glitch sa customs (nacurious si manong sa mga baon kong bra. joke!) kami ay nakalabas din ng paliparan ng diosdado macapagal (welcome to philippines! mabuhay!!!)

Sinundo kami ng tito ko at pinsan ko. First stop? Sa SM Clark para kumain sa Max (jufran! jufran!). Nagdetour din ako para magshopping (vicarious grief allowance ni ate billie) ng passport holder at ng bench cologne para ke charlington (mission accomplished). Matapos nun eh lumakad na kami papuntang Maynila (o sige nag kotse pala). Dinaanan namin sina tita dada at vince sa Bulacan tapos ay tuloy na hanggang sa aking home sweet home.

Sa sobrang tagal kong nawala di na ko kilala nung gwardya namin. Muntik pa akong itawag sa bahay. Syempre umiral ang pagkamaldita ko at sinabing "im doctor ramos." Nalito siya kasi ang Dr. Ramos para sa kanya ay ang nanay ko. Pano pa kaya kung kapatid ko naman? Isa pang Dr. Ramos yun. nosebleed na si manong malamang! In fairness, eh narealize ni Manong number 2 kung sino ako a few seconds later at sinabihan si Manong 1 na "anak yan!"

Pagdating sa king bahay nakita ko agad ang aking baby--si Oliver ang pinaka cute kahit gusgusin ang look kahapon na pusang kalye sa mundo. Nakilala ako agad ng aking kampon at tumakbo papunta sa kanya nagiisang "mommy". I was home. Naramdaman kong sulit lahat ng pagsusuka, pagod at drama. Nayakap ko na muli si polie. At kahit mukhang isang buwan siyang di naligo, kebs ko na lang kasi yayakapin ko si baboytelli.

Nagluto si mommy ng spaghetti para sa aking pag dating. Madaming nabago sa bahay. For one thing ang dami naming picture sa sala. Dumami na din ang mga bulaklak sa paligid. Malalaki na ang mga papaya (para daw ke classmate) sa zen garden (with papaya and malunggay) ni Mother.

Matapos ang kaunting pahinga, sinundo naman ako nina ella at classmate adrian para simulan ang aming foodtrip. Malapit lang muna. Diyan lang sa taas ng bahay (clubhouse) kung san may dencio's na overlooking QC. Healthy daw muna kami kaya umorder lang kami ng Bulalo, Sisig, calamares at ensaladang mangga (kaya nga healthy!) ANG SARAP. Kalimutan na muna ang diet (although half rice lang po ako!). Ika nga ng aking kaibigan sa KL "mangginggit ba?" Maagang natapos ang gimik. Pagoodshot muna ako. Ngayong gabi na lang muli.

Nakauwi din. Sa wakas.
olympics na pala!

Home at last

I got discharged this afternoon.My platelet count has risen to 41000 (not yet normal but already considered safe) so my doctor deemed me fit to finally get out of my hotel (este hospital pala) room. I went through the discharge process like clockwork. Gleneagles was quite efficient from preparing my bills to taking out my IV (although medyo nanghina ako nung nag spurt ang dugo..). Am I glad na covered ng employer ang aking bills. My four day stay cost nearly 50,000 pesos in hospital charges alone. Yikes!

I just got home and am still reeling a bit from all the nausea of the ride. It was traffic going back and the taxi was quite hot. But I'm just glad to be back.

Now the real battle begins. The side effects of the drug is starting to come out-- hotflushes, thirstiness and my ever favorite manic phase. hehehe.. imagine pag dating ko dito sa house, i felt the urgent need to just classify my stuff. I organised the pantry (sabi nga ni reg, mare malala ka na pag pati kwarto ko inayos mo!), and sorted out the leftover freebies from the hospital. I felt the need to do something productive. I'm drinking water like crazy and I feel like a boat. Pinigilan ko na lang ang sarili kong linisin ang kusina. Over na yon. hehe.

I know it will be crazier in the next few days as I negotiate the side effects of prednisone and dapsone. And I am apologizing in advance to all those who will witness my kaadikans (tama si gidiyap.. magaadik na naman ako nito. hehehe). I've been through it before. Buti na lang may KFC to comfort us.

But these moments will past. I know they will. I have to believe they will.

31/07
7:30pm

16000 and counting

My platelet is up to 16000 as of yesterday. My first major good news since landing in this hospital last Sunday. I actually one my bet with Liz last tuesday-- we had a bet on what my count would be. Hers was 10000, mine was 16000 (say mo Madame Auring, exacto ang prediction ko!) and the price was was lunch over at Mamma Klassik Kitchen (vegetarian set for 1.60RM?)

Of course, there is a price to pay for this boost-- I now look like a real honest to goodness oompah loompah. O sige para mas cute ng onti-- mukha kong monay. hahaha. Pramis. I can't even feel my face now. Ganito siguro ang pakiramdam ng mga nagpapabotox. I told my friends that I feel like helium gas was pumped into my cheekbones and I look like a balloon.

Pag naging kahawig ko na si Hetty, i think time to panic na yun. Worse pag si jollibee na. hahaha. For now sabi ni ves, magpakasaya na lang muna akong maging newest member ng "teletubbies"

:D

My Bestfriend's Birthday

I'm taking time out from my health issues today (30/07/08) to greet my bestfriend on this special occasion. Ella and I first met back in 1998. I was a batch older than her but since I shifted I hanged around UP a couple more years after my batch graduated. We became friends because of Peter, who was like me, a forever tambay of the org UP MMC. I still vividly remember the first time we really became friends--she asked Peter to ask me if they could use my car to get her PC from the house. She and her groupmates needed it for a project in school and since she was color coded, she couldnt go home. After that encounter, we started hanging out more and more.

I think our friendship just bloomed naturally. We became real close and we'd hang around almost everyday. We became the eternal lunch buddies and we'd even meet up as far as away as makati for lunch (even when we were working) just to eat together. The years went by and we became the best of friends.

Now 10 years later, we are soul sisters. Ella knows me far more than any other person in this planet. She saw me triumped, fall, pick up the pieces, and try again. Throughout the drama of my so called life, she has always been there. And even though there were times when I'd neglected her, she never left my side. Kahit na nung isang araw, nageemote ako because of my platelets, she refused to let me feel sorry for myself.

So I thank her today and wish her the best birthday ever. And eventhough I wouldn't be able to fulfill my promise of celebrating her birthday with her personally this year, I am there in spirit. belated na lang ang celebration namin next week when i get home. For now, classmate ikaw na muna ang proxy ha! :)

July 30 2008
10:35am

I Hate Needles

I was woken up at 530 this morning by the nurse to get my blood and other vitals (Bp, temperature, pulse rate, etc). Half asleep, I gave my right arm to be pricked. Without warning, she just jammed the needle right into my right arm. Anak ng tinapa ni Batman at superman!!Masakit men!!! Sige exag yun ng onti. Pero shet pwet I nearly stood up and punched her there. I already semi warned her that I am scared of needles. I've never really gotten used to them despite being pricked probably thousands of times since I was 4 years old. Usually the other nurses would give me the pep talk first (okay just breathe, etc etc) and warns me right before that big prick. But no! siguro inaantok din siya or akala niya I was joking when I said that I was afraid of needles. After all at my age, I shouldn't be (but I'm unique!!hehe). The worse part was after the prick, she had to show me the blood dripping. And do you know what I'm scared of more than needles (well sige, heights but more than that?) BLOOD. Hay lord! natest ang powers ko.Gusto ko na mag faint pero nakakahiya (buti na lang Vanity is a sin talaga!) It was so darn painful for the next 30 minutes that I wanted to punch someone only I couldn't because I would get a pasa in the process.

Buti na lang may net na this morning. At masarap ang nasi lemak for breakfast. :)

Kidnapped For Ransom: My Platelets

After nearly 3 years of being officially under remission (5 years after my last relapse), my lifecoach is back-- my ITP that is (to all those who are unfamiliar with this, itp refers to idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpurra. Spelling? Pink na lang po! hehe.. its a bleeding disorder). Yesterday I discovered the presence of red petechaies (red lang talaga ang petechaie, cannot be blue, or green) all over my legs and arms (imagine na pinagtripan ako ng mga kids at sinulatan ng red pentel pen all over).

After attending the dedication ceremony for Chris' daughter (syempre nakiparty muna bago magpaconfine diba?) and naaki "alive alive" kay Pastor Rudy (na gustong palitan ni ninong jay) I went to Gleneagles hospital (our version of Asian hospital) and had a blood test. Pinagpustahan pa ko ng mga residente at attending sa ER kung gano daw kababa ang platelets ko. Ayos! gawin ba kong lotto number? Ayun awa ng dios, talo silang lahat. Kasi ang platelet ko is down to a magic number called "4" hehehe. (fyi ang normal is 150 x10 to the 6th power). Mas nagpanic sila sa kin dahil naglalakad pa daw ako. A transfusion was ruled out by the hematologist since I wasnt bleeding. I just needed to stay put in the bed.

One day later eto, nagpapakapasaway pa din. Syempre kelangan ko mag internet. Namamatay na ako sa boredom. hahaha. kaya please kausapin niyo ko sa YM. haha.. Im normal apart from the pasa and bruises. Same old hazel na taga book ng badminton court (although si charles ang in charge muna.. uy! parang yung tv show!) si hazel na nangungulit sa mga tao. Now i have no excuse to finish my two presentations for the PAP conference 2 weeks from now (see im still planning my vacations).

I am not in denial. Nor am I not taking this illness seriously. But I've had this ITP since I was four. And one thing i've learned through our 27 year friendship is that ITP was never meant to make my life miserable. It was meant to make me appreciate life more. And I hate it when people look at me with pity in their eyes. I have enough self pity to go around thank you. But just like Morrie (Tuesdays with Morrie), I only allow myself 5 minutes of self pity per day. Then I move on. I need to move on. Because I only have 23 hours and 55 minutes for that day left to live the best life I could live.

So thank you to all those who texted and wished me well. Thanks to all those who visited and called. But most of all thank you to those who made me feel that I was still the same old me even if they were having a hard time hiding their concern. You don't know how much I appreciated that-- to be treated just like I was the same old me.

So kung sakasakaling masalubong niyo ang platelets ko, paki sabihan na umuwi na sa rm 502 ng Gleneagles. Para naman makapagempake na kami sa paguwi ko sa pinas. Excited pa naman akong kumain na muli ng crispy pata at maging coffee kay idol sa starbucks (ay Figaro na ba tayo?).

If there's a will,there's always a Jaime.

Impossible? Not!

Mushy Movie Night

"Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you" -Gerry Kennedy (P.S. I love you the movie)

I was talking to a friend the other night while watching a movie I recently downloaded. It was an old film starring Hilary Swank and that guy from 300. Basically in the film HS lost her husband and every month for a year he sends her letters telling her how to move on and live a life without him. It's absolutely mushy i know. But there was something about the film that moved me. Especially when Gerry sent his last letter. I was really crying after Holly read the line "Dont be afraid to fall in love again." My friend laughed at my admission of being mushy again. Imagine me sitting infront of the pc bawling my eyes out hahaha. It's been a while..

The film reminded me of our fear of getting hurt. Life isn't always about happy endings and for some it could be one sad goodbye after the other. And sometimes, those hurts pile up until they reach a point when we become so afraid to even try. We become cynical and closed to even the possibility of investing in our feelings once more. And that to me is the saddest possible thing that could happen.

So I always remind myself of that-- that I shouldn't be afraid to care or to risk. The chance of laughing and smiling like crazy once more is enough to warrant taking a leap of faith every now and then. Gerry was right. If we fear making mistakes then we are in the wrong species. ("Then you're in the wrong species, love. Be a duck")

My kapitneighbor ate billie told me a while ago how I'm so easy to read and how I light up everytime I am happy. And now I realize that I want that light to always shine on me.

Coz I deserve that kind of glow.

Itago niyo na lamang ako sa pangalang...Hazer

Magsusulat ako sa tagalog para sa "entry" na ito. Wala lang. Para maiba lang ang istyle ng kwento. Saka mas masaya siyang ikwento sa wika natin. So ano ba ang kwento? Excited ka naman masyado.. o sya sige. eto na siya.

Nagpareserve ako sa Restoran King Crab kahapon para sa hapunan ng aking mga kaopisina at kaibigan. Huling hirit bago muling maglakbay si bossing (sabi ni atebillie yan). So yun nga, tumawag ako, isang tsekwa ang nakasagot. Sabi ko, "can i make a reservation for dinner later? 6 persons." (with matching British accent pa). Tinanong niya kung kanino ipapangalan at sabi ko, "Dr. Hazel Ramos" Pinaspelling pa niya sa kin kaya kahit hirap na hirap akong isipin ang A-B-K-D, dahan dahan kong binigkas (again with Matching British accent and spelling) "Haytch- Ei- Zed-E-L, R-A-EM-O-ES" Sabi nung babae, "okay see you later!"

So ok na diba.. Fast forward na tayo sa oras ng kainan.. Gutom na gutom naming binagtas ang Kelana Jaya LRT line at naglakad patawid ng hiway (para kaming naglalakad patungo sa dulo ng bahaghari). Pagdating sa restoran (ganyan ang spelling dito) eh tinanong ako nung receptionist "do you have reservations?" Buong gilas kong sinagot, ng "Yes, under Dr. Hazel Ramos." Parang di niya ako naintindihan so pinakita na lang niya sa kin ang listahan, wala ang pangalan ko, pero may isang kahawig.. Hmm.. inisip ko, ako ba ito? siguro naman.. Di ko na kinontra at since gutom na ako, sabi ko na "that's it pancit." Tinuro niya ako patungo sa isang malaking lamesa sa may dulo ng kwarto. Pagdating sa aming hapagkainan, may malaking papel (cartolina na pinutol upang maging isang nameplate) na may pangalang nakasulat.



Ayos. Binigyan ako ng panibagong pangalan. In the feyrness, andun ang doctor. At least tumama dun diba? Sayang naman ang anim na taon ko sa sa grad school kung di man lang magagamit minsan minsan ang aking titulo (kahit na sa restoran lamang). Yung Hazer pwede na din.. sounds like naman.Parang binigkas ni Batman ang "Hazel" (Para sa mga nakapanood ng The Dark Knight, napansin niyo ba na nagiging nasal si Batman pag siya ay Batman at di na si Bruce Wayne? Siguro naiipit ng costume niya ang ilong niya no?) Pero yung Loros? hmm.. sang planeta galing yun? Maingay ako tulad ng isang loro (di ako nagpapanggap na shy tulad nina Shyboy 1 at Shyboy 2) pero malayo naman ata sa Ramos ang Loros (inispelling ko pa diba?). Hmm.. baka naman yun ang apelyido ng aking soulmate? Nagkita na ang aming pangalan pero kami hindi pa? (naligaw na naman siya?! Oh gosh pulgash, he desperately needs Mapking)

Mali man ang pangalan ko, masasabi ko pa ding, panalo ang Restoran King Crab (para sa inyong impormasyon, may branch din sila sa Johor kung nalalapitan kayo masyado sa Petaling Jaya Branch). Ang sarap ng Crabs (syempre Restoran King Crab nga eh!) pati na ang steamed fish, Tofu with mushrooms and itlog na pula, Chicken in dried chili (na may pinya huhuhu.. kaya pinasa ko ke shyboy 2 ang manok), mixed veggies (para healthY) at nasi puti (kanin po). Kahit na sobrang sakit ng tiyan ko (food poisoning ang drama ko the whole day), kain pa din (crabs to noh, walang sakit sakit ng tiyan dito). Salamat sa aking drug dealer (este Mobile Mercury Drug pala) na dinalhan ako ng kremil s at gamot sa dyspepsia ("Baka naman dyspepsia yan!" wika ng ad sa pinas) ay nakakain ako ang malumanay. May second round pa. haha.

Matapos ang 2 oras ng paglamon, naubos din namin ang pagkain.. Parang dinaanan ng bagyo. Nagbayad kami (super sulit men!) at nagyosi break ang mga yosi boy and gel habang ang iba sa min ay namasyal sa aquarium ng crabs. Kelangan daw kasi naming humingi ng tawad sa mga kamag anak ng mga alimangong minurder ng kusinero para sa aming kasiyahan at magiwan ng aming mensaheng "sa susunod kayo naman ang kakainin namin"

Naglakad muli kami pabalik ng tren at umuwi na sa aming mga tahanan.

Ayan tapos na ang kwento. Ang hirap pala magtagalog. Shucks, its been so long (bwahahahaha)...

Dati call me stanley ang drama ko (mas mahabang kwento ito, saka kung gusto mo malaman, kelangan maging mega super duper overly close friend kita muna) pero ngayon,

itago niyo na lamang ako sa pangalang HAZER.

Frozen Delight

I now know how meat feels in the freezer. I'm in Chulan tower right now for our class on "Occupational Health and Safety Laws: An international perspective" and we have the whole floor to ourselves (all 5 of us). And its freezing like winter. I've already downed several cups of hot water that my tummy now feels like a hot water bag. My head is aching and I am shrivering. It's not helping my feverish feeling at all.

I don't really understand how come there's no darn thermostat control in this office building. It's either galit sa TNB (malaysian version of Meralco) ang mga tao dito or gusto nilang isimulate ang UK weather sa Nottingham Malaysia Campus. Even Angeli (whose from the UK) is already complaining.

Hmm... I wonder if i could request for a fireplace here. Para authentic na talaga ang winter theme namin. :D

Just for Today

And there we were, in a kind of harmony; and the evening was so beautiful, that it made a pain in my heart, as when you cannot tell whether you are happy or sad; and I thought that if I could have a wish, it would be that nothing would ever change, and we could stay that way forever...
-Margaret Atwood "Alias Grace"

Some things are worth remembering. Even if you can't say them.
An ordinary day turned extraordinary
One simple grace at a time.
Enough said.

Miss Universe Question

Student: What is the relation between these movies and our lectures?

Hazel: (thinking out loud)... wala gusto ko lang kayong torturin at papanoorin ng global warming.. We are talking about health after all and the challenges of developing policies for health and safety. With that comes a multitude of issues and questions such as those posed by the issue of global warming (what the heck.. wala akong maisip na iba.. pwede na ba?)

Student: Ok.

Hazel: (thinking out loud pa din)... yun lang! yun lang ang reaction mo..
Class Dismissed.

It wasn't my best moment today. Not only was I dead tired from the day long administrative but I was also suffering from a bad migraine. The cafeteria food did not help (Kelan pa naging chicken burger ang tasty bread?) nor the rains that made the entire building freezing. I wasn't really supposed to teach but unfortunately my colleague wasn't well. kaya ayun, nasabak muli ako.

Another adventure in a day in the life of a teacher..

Next question please

Falling from Grace

I did a Miriam Quiambao yesterday. I was walking with Angeli along Bukit Bintang when I lost my footing and tripped. I fell on the side of the road right in front of the JW Marriot Hotel/Starhill galery. I immediately got up and walked away as if nothing happened. haha. I didnt even check for broken bones. My only concern was if anyone around was laughing. hahaha.

To my credit Angeli said I did fell gracefully. I think I've mastered the art of slipping/falling thanks to badminton that the moment I knew I was falling I braced the fall to minimize damage to my bones. Unfortunately my knees graced the hard cement and caused two peso size bruises to appear.

For several minutes, I felt like I was five years old again to the time I fell flat on the on ground while chasing after a basketball rolling down the street where we lived. I came home bleeding on both knees and receiving a long sermon from my mom in the process. Now 26 years later, I was still my clumsy self. Only this time I was wearing heels.

When we got to the restaurant, my knees were stinging. I finally found the guts to look at them and true enough there were bruises and cuts all over. I silently said a prayer of thanks for the minor bruises (it could have been worse you know) at the same time laughed at myself for the act of stupidity.

There's a saying that the reason why we fall is because we need to learn to stand up again. With every stumble, we get up and try once more. That's life. It's all about falling down and getting up, falling down ang getting up once again. ..And sometimes when we are lucky enough, someone will there waiting to catch us. Kaso mukhang naligaw ata siya.. di kasi gumamit ng mapking. hahaha.

Tiub

I was walking from KL Sentral to the Monorail station when a sign board in one of the stalls along the narrow pathway caught my eye-- Tiub 10RM. I thought to myself, what the heck is a "tiub?" I was thinking, there must be some new fad that is gaining popularity as there were a couple of signs that posted it. Then it hit me-- the store meant "Tube" or what we girls like to wear under see through blouses or as a standalone top. I was laughing all the way to the office and couldn't help but remember all those funny road signs that we have in manila. Meron din pala dito.. parang Iejept ni Manny.

All throughout the day whenever I wanted to laugh I would think about that small sign. It has been a really long day. I had my class for Org Development and Change, I prepared for my Law class tomorrow (yes, you heard it right folks, im teaching law... este Health and Safety Law), and even went to the Philippine embassy to get my OEC and driving license authenticated (na hinayupak na 96.25 RM..panalo! mas mahal pa sa actual license kong 247.50 lamang sa pinas).

The "tiub" reminds me of appreciating the simple stuff-- and the things that make life unique. After all, according to Jerry Maguire, "we live in a cynical cynical world." I mean despite the stress of work and cramming, I still had a relatively good day. I got to relearn strategic leadership from Peter Senge's point of view. I got to eat ruffles sour cream cheddar chips which is an absolute comfort junk food. I had a really nice lunch of bbq roasted chicken with shrimp dumplings. I managed to get my OEC without needing to queue up for a long time. And I managed to finish my lectures and readings for tomorrow so I could actually take time off to write this blog. After class I went out for dinner and ate my favorite club sandwich from DOME cafe which is a must try for anyone. And after a long chat with Angeli, I managed to get back home safe and sound.

See sometimes appreciating simple things really do change our perspective. Mali man ang ispelling at mali man ang pagkabigkas, pinaalala pa din nito na sa isang sulok ng kanilang mundo, may mga bagay na nabibili pa din sa maliit na halaga. Sa halagang 10 RM may bagong TIUB ka na.

And at the end of the day you'll realize that everything that happened made sense. That everything is part of the giant adventure called life. And you just have to learn to enjoy the ride.

The Return of the Other

The last time "the other"visited was several years back.I was still in Manila living a totally different life. I was very optimistic then that I welcomed the other's arrival with open arms. I thought at that time it was things will turn out differently. Unfortunately it didn't happen. Life had its way of changing course at the least expected moment. And so despite a heavy heart, I had to say goodbye. After all it wasn't something that I could hold on to. I held on to the good memories but I've learned to let go of the bad.

I learned about "the other" from my favorite author-- Paulo Coelho. Call it fear, insecurity or both. It usually comes after the moment of bliss. It arrives the moment you learn to admit that you care. You start feeling insecure and helpless, as if your heart is being torn into pieces for no reason at all.

When I left, the other left and stayed away. And though it meant having no fears, it also meant that a part of me died-- the part that remained hopeful about the mysteries of yet to come. I remained the dreamer that I was but part of me stopped believing in those dreams. The other was never meant to destroy us but rather to strengthen us and make us choose the right path to take. The other was sent for us to take that leap of faith-- to jump into the unknown and embrace whatever comes your way.

The other night I had a dream. I was watching a video and I was trying to make sense of the violence in the video. I told my friend who was there that I needed to understand--I needed to understand what happened so that I could keep my faith in people intact. I believe the dream was speaking to me about my own faith in people and how in the recent years my faith in people have wavered. Maybe I've grown a bit cynical or maybe I just went through so much that I needed to become wary. I don't really know.

But now "the other" has come back. I sensed it creeping slowly. And though I am scared, I feel a sense of bliss-- because with its return also meant that the part of me that died several years ago is coming back to life. And maybe little by little I am slowly going back to how I was before.

I am rambling again. And I dont really know why. Maybe its time to take that leap of faith. Or maybe I am just being me once more. :)