I remember having a recurring dream all these years--about me being sent back to highschool and needing to finish some unfinished subject that I seem to have forgotten. I used to dream that dream every semester in college till I finished my MA. Then it would come once in a while again. Usually it would come when I am most stressed and I would be feeling blue about something that was about to happen in school.
Two nights ago I had the same dream again. But this time I was happy to be back in school. It was like the previous one I had (right after I moved to Malaysia). This time however, P was there. For some reason he was in that dream too this time. He was back to his old self-- the P that used to care for me- the one I called my second bestfriend. He was happy to see me again. He was saying something about things being all right for me and how he would be there. I dont know if the dream happened in the future or was it in the past (when we were still friends). But I do know that in that dream the sad events of 2006 did happen and it was like the first time we got back together since that event. Kinda weird I know.
But despite the weird scenario I remember waking up feeling extra happy. Not because I dreamt of him but because it made me remember the happy memories we once shared. Maybe it was due to the fact that I needed some happy thoughts that morning since I was starting my treatment for my cysts. Or maybe because I know his birthday is soon coming up. And if things didnt end up badly last year I'd probably be planning some surprise by this time.
Back to the dream-- it was just like that-- a happy memory. And though it may appear that I am still hung up on him, I know I'm not. I believe that the dream was telling me that he did fulfill his promise-- that we'd always be friends despite everything. Even if it was only a dream. At least I got to feel him to be there again.
It brought back memories of the time I took my comps exam and I was feeling so bad after the first day. I remember calling him on the phone and crying because I felt I was going to flunk. He told me to meet him and the chuts' gang for lunch and we ate at mushroom burger. Afterwards he took me to see troy in Robinson's Metroeast. He spent the entire afternoon cheering me up. Two months later when I got my results, he was the first one to come and greet me congratulations. I still remember that day. He was not in his best moment after suffering his own heartbreak but he still shared my special day with me. He skipped work and instead went off to fetch me for lunch. He surprised me that day by showing up in SB coz he was just telling me that he was off to work on the phone. Mas masaya daw mag celebrate
So many moments that I hardly remember now. And the dream brought them all back. It was fitting because that morning I knew my world will change anew. I won't be the same hazel again. I'll be back in my weird body again.
I know I can never hate him. And despite everything he will always be one of my dearest friends.
Knowing that even if only in my dreams he was there for me was enough to keep me smiling.
Who knows in the future right?
Maybe we could even laugh together again.
I can dream can't I?
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Surprise Call
I got a surprise in the middle of my sleep last nignt-- Idol called. At first I thought it was an accidental call but when anthony called again, I thought hey there must be something up for idol to call in the middle of the night. True enough,there was something worth waking up for--it was called Thesis crisis.
I knew how it felt like to go through that crisis. I went through it twice. Believe me, when it comes you almost find the urge to just walk away from it all until a gentle dreamer inside you reminds you that walking away from your dream and hardwork is nothing but pure stupidity. So before you lose that grip on the dream, you need to find that someone to push you a bit more. I remember Idol's first few sentences last night-- I need something to motivate me to keep going.
I couldn't think of anything to say except I think I said something like "dapat tapusin mo na kasi gusto ko mag Bali!" (you should finish it coz I want to go to Bali) What a self centered motivation right? hahaha. We had this deal kasi that we will celebrate the end of his thesis in Bali. Oh diba? Sosyal.
His call actually reminded me of thesis and dissertation days-- when I too wanted to just throw it all away. After a while you just get completely sick of reading all those journals and going through all those stats. But it's all part of the journey.
Anthony made me miss home again. Aww.. After his call came luis' text announcing he has YM already. Last night was badminton night and had I been home we would probably just ending play around that time. Then we'd probably go to Eastwood to eat with Byo and go home a little after 1am. Traditions.
Of course for now I have to be contented with the calls and occasional hello's and text messages from everyone. Anthony might have called me because I was his only friend who knew what he was going through with thesis but in truth he also acts as my motivator. His call got me a little closer to home even for several minutes. And it made me find my bliss once more.
Kaya idol tapusin mo na! para di ka na delata.magiging isa ka ng ganap na master idol. hahaha
I knew how it felt like to go through that crisis. I went through it twice. Believe me, when it comes you almost find the urge to just walk away from it all until a gentle dreamer inside you reminds you that walking away from your dream and hardwork is nothing but pure stupidity. So before you lose that grip on the dream, you need to find that someone to push you a bit more. I remember Idol's first few sentences last night-- I need something to motivate me to keep going.
I couldn't think of anything to say except I think I said something like "dapat tapusin mo na kasi gusto ko mag Bali!" (you should finish it coz I want to go to Bali) What a self centered motivation right? hahaha. We had this deal kasi that we will celebrate the end of his thesis in Bali. Oh diba? Sosyal.
His call actually reminded me of thesis and dissertation days-- when I too wanted to just throw it all away. After a while you just get completely sick of reading all those journals and going through all those stats. But it's all part of the journey.
Anthony made me miss home again. Aww.. After his call came luis' text announcing he has YM already. Last night was badminton night and had I been home we would probably just ending play around that time. Then we'd probably go to Eastwood to eat with Byo and go home a little after 1am. Traditions.
Of course for now I have to be contented with the calls and occasional hello's and text messages from everyone. Anthony might have called me because I was his only friend who knew what he was going through with thesis but in truth he also acts as my motivator. His call got me a little closer to home even for several minutes. And it made me find my bliss once more.
Kaya idol tapusin mo na! para di ka na delata.magiging isa ka ng ganap na master idol. hahaha
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Special Memories
Events may last a few short moments but memories last a lifetime.. who could ever forget these wonderful and greatly treasured memories...
... dinner with the p10 girls at shakeys where i met enzo for the first time. He's such a cute baby!
... tambay with coach len and our takas date sa metrowalk (calories!!!)
... hanging out with Luis and Byo in Eastwood. We even got to watch that diver flick in the laptop.
... badminton nights at GBC including tapsilog after play with Marlo, Toffee, Lou, Pau and Harry.
... Starbucks (Corinthian, Katipunan, Greenhills, and Blue Wave).. Loyalty eto!
... Reunion with Anthony who not only made me laugh but made me teary eyed as well with his thoughts.. sigh..
... Galeria hangout with Weevens. We spoke about going on a diet pero we still ordered huge portions in Burgoo! Oh well! its the thought that counts!
... Tropical Hut and Jollibee with Luis-- our old habit is back even for a while. Add that to our text tradition right after I get home. Something that I'll miss a lot.
... Reunion with tita nel, tito noel and lolo rb. Sayang I missed partner kei.
... Wencha Spa with tito morris, tita connie, lou and pau. Good Food, Great Massage. I loved the chocolate cake the most.
... Subic Escapade with Ella, Classmate and Lyzet. Anything for steak. haha. Even if we ended up getting caught for overspeeding while driving at 75kph. hahaha.
... Tagaytay lunchout with Mother. Major Foodtrip at RSM where we had the best Bangus belly salpicao.
... MOA, SM North, and EVER with Momsy. Shopping galore!!!
... Cravings Chocolate Cake. Enough said. Sarap.
... Pepperoni Crunch at Shakeys. Simply the best.
... Reunion with Tita Thel, Tito Ted, Randi, Kaye, Tito Joey and Tita Lucille.
... Meeting Ani and our new babies-- Small, medium and large.
... cuddling Olie once again.
... dinner at ella's and seeing the davao gang again. Tita's spareribs were wonderful!
... non stop foodtrip. What else can I say... Share the calories na lang!
Met lots of people and met up with old friends. Missed a couple like marekoy binky and marekoy jeanette plus the PPPeyups gang (never na natuloy ang reunion na yan!). Di bale may next time pa naman. It was great catching up with everyone.
There were lots of happy memories but there were also a couple of sad ones like realising that the friend you once had is really gone. And that despite promises of being friends forever, he has forgotten his promise for now.
I just don't dwell on it now. Maybe its the sign that finally I really have grown up. After all we did have lots of happy memories.And despite the sadness, once upon a time we were the happiest friends. I have enough hellos to last till our final goodbye.
So nothing but fond memories now.
Last night I was having dinner with Jesse and Obet and we spoke about how genuinely pinoy our dinner was-- chopseuy with jollibee chicken joy (seriously!) while watching Ai Ai's "Ang Cute ng Ina Mo" on DVD. Iisa lang ang kulang... Yung asa Pilipinas ka.
Till my next visit....can't wait. :)
... dinner with the p10 girls at shakeys where i met enzo for the first time. He's such a cute baby!
... tambay with coach len and our takas date sa metrowalk (calories!!!)
... hanging out with Luis and Byo in Eastwood. We even got to watch that diver flick in the laptop.
... badminton nights at GBC including tapsilog after play with Marlo, Toffee, Lou, Pau and Harry.
... Starbucks (Corinthian, Katipunan, Greenhills, and Blue Wave).. Loyalty eto!
... Reunion with Anthony who not only made me laugh but made me teary eyed as well with his thoughts.. sigh..
... Galeria hangout with Weevens. We spoke about going on a diet pero we still ordered huge portions in Burgoo! Oh well! its the thought that counts!
... Tropical Hut and Jollibee with Luis-- our old habit is back even for a while. Add that to our text tradition right after I get home. Something that I'll miss a lot.
... Reunion with tita nel, tito noel and lolo rb. Sayang I missed partner kei.
... Wencha Spa with tito morris, tita connie, lou and pau. Good Food, Great Massage. I loved the chocolate cake the most.
... Subic Escapade with Ella, Classmate and Lyzet. Anything for steak. haha. Even if we ended up getting caught for overspeeding while driving at 75kph. hahaha.
... Tagaytay lunchout with Mother. Major Foodtrip at RSM where we had the best Bangus belly salpicao.
... MOA, SM North, and EVER with Momsy. Shopping galore!!!
... Cravings Chocolate Cake. Enough said. Sarap.
... Pepperoni Crunch at Shakeys. Simply the best.
... Reunion with Tita Thel, Tito Ted, Randi, Kaye, Tito Joey and Tita Lucille.
... Meeting Ani and our new babies-- Small, medium and large.
... cuddling Olie once again.
... dinner at ella's and seeing the davao gang again. Tita's spareribs were wonderful!
... non stop foodtrip. What else can I say... Share the calories na lang!
Met lots of people and met up with old friends. Missed a couple like marekoy binky and marekoy jeanette plus the PPPeyups gang (never na natuloy ang reunion na yan!). Di bale may next time pa naman. It was great catching up with everyone.
There were lots of happy memories but there were also a couple of sad ones like realising that the friend you once had is really gone. And that despite promises of being friends forever, he has forgotten his promise for now.
I just don't dwell on it now. Maybe its the sign that finally I really have grown up. After all we did have lots of happy memories.And despite the sadness, once upon a time we were the happiest friends. I have enough hellos to last till our final goodbye.
So nothing but fond memories now.
Last night I was having dinner with Jesse and Obet and we spoke about how genuinely pinoy our dinner was-- chopseuy with jollibee chicken joy (seriously!) while watching Ai Ai's "Ang Cute ng Ina Mo" on DVD. Iisa lang ang kulang... Yung asa Pilipinas ka.
Till my next visit....can't wait. :)
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