Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Moments That Take your Breathe Away

"Live life not by how many breathes you take but by the moments that take your breathe away"

1. Tagaytay bonding with friends.
Our barkada decided to go on a food trip and trekked over to Tagaytay last Monday. We had lunch at The Grill by Antonio's (bad service, bad food), played billiard, drank coffee (and tsaang gubat for mike) and lovely dinner at Leslie's (made up for the bad lunch!). Nakakamiss din ang bondings na ganun.
2. Eating tawilis and ensaladang mangga at Leslie's Tagaytay.
Yummy
3. Herb shopping for tita let at Gourmet's cafe.=)
4. The cool sunsets at home.
and capturing it on film.
5. Meeting Topher and Jaime at Pcmc today
Wonder kids who emulate bravery and resilience at its best.
6. Ouch moment at playersbest last night (with the matching sore thumb)
Peter literally took my breathe away when we accidentally collided on court during play. Ouch.My thumb is currently black and blue because of our little accident on court last night. Peace partner! buti na lang kaw yon..hehehe
7. Midnight Dinner with Oliver last night
I don't get to bond with my baby much these days whose so malambing. We literally fell asleep together while watching Ed and Desperate Housewives on cable tv.
8. Big R grocery shopping. =)
Kulitan with Raffy, Len, Gabs, Sophie and ang biglang nabuhay na si Peter while shopping for our respective kris kringles (the 20 peso challenge--something long and hard)
9. Picture taking in tagaytay.
10. Greenwich pizza (minus the pineapple)
At ang walang kasing lakas na tawa ni len.

I've been getting a lot stressors lately and I realized that if not for these moments, I'd be long gone from this world. Literally. It's when you get to have beautiful moments such as these that you realize that life is beautiful despite everything.

***
:) you taught me to make each moment count. thank you.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Hitched

So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them (Alex Hitch, "Hitch")

Sometimes, someone arrives at your doorstep and changes the way you actually live your life. Little by little your life begins to change and without you knowing it, you realize that things are not the same anymore. But Life was so different for me when this year started. Everything changed this year. I used to know what I want and where exactly I want to be next year. Now everything is left in question. I'm actually asking myself all these existential questions that I thought I have answered a long time ago.

I don't feel bad about it. In fact I'm happy. I've never been happier than these past few months. But I also know that I've never felt miserable also as these past few months. How can one be happy and sad at the same time? I think its part of the package. And maybe that's what makes all these things real-- knowing that the one thing that makes you happy is also the one thing that has the power to make you sad. Sometimes I ask myself if what if I just go back to the way things were before-- I was ok then. But I wasn't as happy as well. I was ok. And now okay is not enough anymore.

Life can be unfair at times. Or maybe I'm fast becoming a cynic. Or maybe I just feel tired. Or maybe I just miss the smiles that I look forward to seeing.

I mean, I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. I mean and if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, then... well this is who I have to be (Albert, "Hitch")

okay back to reality...
***
" Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise. you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did I jump? But here I am, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you" (Alex Hitchens)

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Burning Out

It's been only a week since school started and I am slowly yearning for vacation already. I'm starting to feel burned out. And to think I haven't even reached the second chapter of my lectures! This sem is a particularly tough one. I have to (note: have to) finish all that needs to be done--my internship and my dissertation by march. How do I do that I have no idea.

Since Monday I've been suffering from migraines. This is the first time in years since I suffered continous migraines. The last time was when I was 16. I've also become quite irritable. And frankly, there are times when I just want to lock myself up in my room and do nothing.

Two things make me happy these days-- badminton is one. It is the sanity pill in my yucky lifestyle. Even if I feel physically drained, it keeps me up. At least on court, I know I could easily laugh at my errors and try and try again.

I find myself often thinking how I know what would make me happy yet I can't seem to find the guts to go for it. Sometimes I think Lyzet is right-- I'm becoming a turtle with no direction. Argghhh!! I think the problem is I know that if I go for the things that make me happy, the people I love would end up being disappointed with me. And I don't know if I can take that. The psychologist is fast becoming neurotic. hahaha.

The second thing that make me happy is not a thing but a person-- You. Kahit nakakainis ka minsan, you keep me smiling. Sana lang alam mo yun.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Weddings and Championships

Last weekend was a fruitful one. We had our usual saturday night sessions at Len's. It was supposed to be a welcome back party for me (for my 2 day trip to Singapore two weeks ago). I cooked baked mac (special request na elbow macaroni) and salsa. Even helped Len with her laundry before I played. The gang was supposed to stay only till midnight at most but true to form, that never happened. We went home at 2:30 am. Peter was able to influence Mark to drink (kahit bawal coz we have tournament the next day) and the entire gang had a riot picking names for our kris kringle (next week's 20 peso challenge: long and hard).

Sunday, I was suddenly awakened by Len's phone call at 6am telling me our games was rescheduled earlier. From 9 am it was moved to 8am. I found myself rushing to the bathroom for a quick cold shower and driving like mad to Len's house. I drank two cans of revicon Ion energy drink to wake me up. The barkada was playing in a benefit tourney at the Alabang Raquet club for the benefit of national team member Bog's Amahit's mom who has cancer. Despite lacking sleep, we managed to win in the tournament. I partnered with Mark in mixed doubles while macre and len partnered in women's. Mareng Karen partnered with Winky in mixed doubles as well. My first time partnership with Mark proved to be fruitful as we swept our games and captured the XD level 3 championship. Len did a super woman (played double event) and won the WD level 2 championship with Macre. I have a pasa in the forehead as a souvenir, but what the heck, it was worth it. =)

After our games, I rushed home to attend Carly and theodore's wedding at the Oasis Pavillion. It was the most unique wedding I've been to. The bride was wearing flip flops underneath her gown and for cocktails, they served fishballs, squidballs and dirty ice cream. Cute. The ceremony also was quick. It lasted for only 15 minutes or so. But though it was short, it was filled with love. I realized then that it's never about how lavish your celebration is but how much love is there. You could see Carly and Theodore beaming with love and happiness and I wish them nothing but the best.

I wonder what this week holds for me. Last week started with a lot of headaches but ended quite happily. I hope this week is a good one.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Car Less Day

Having my car fixed again today. The overheat opened a pandora's box of problems with my car costing me about 10K already. Today I went back twice to Kia trying to get the parts needed. Fortunately I don't have class. Kundi bad trip to. I realized today how dependent on my car I am already. I can't live without it.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Practice Love(life)

Is there such a thing such as a practice lovelife? Over dinner last night, Lyzet was telling me to find one. And I find myself wondering, is there such a thing?

According to my friend, its the boyfriend (or girlfriend) you never take seriously-- the practice kind-- the one whom you just practice your skills with before you find the real thing. AKA the boylet. I need that according to Lyzet. She even asked Peter to find me one. hehehehe.

A hopeless romantic, I 've never really thought of love that way. I guess I've always believed (and hoped) that when you ask someone to be in a relationship with you, you actually mean it.Perhaps there's something wrong with me, but I find it hard to think of love as a game that you play. I guess I'm just not built that way.

I have to admit I am pathetic at love relationships. I've never had one-- one that is beyond the sort of-almost-but not quite us-pseudo boyfriend-girlfriend kind. Sometimes I end up laughing (or sometimes crying) over my love experiences. They always end up like each other. Talking to my two friends last night, I find myself thinking, is there anything wrong with me? Though I've never had problems with having guy friends around, finding that Mr. Right seems to be taking quite a complicated path. I've always been one of the boys and as much as I am around guys all the time, I often end up as their buddy than their gf.

Two things I know about relationships-- 1. When you love someone, you love them enough to want them to be happy and 2. Treat another person's heart as you want to treat yourself. I think its the second one that's keeping me from resorting to that practice lovelife. How sad it must be to be treated as a panakip butas or practice lady. And I don't want to treat another person as such. Perhaps waiting may take a long time and maybe I am indeed one track minded in the name of love but at least I know that when I give my heart to someone--its the real thing.

One thing my friend told me that I agree with. I've already met him-- the real thing that is. We just haven't "seen" each other yet. Medyo slow kasi kami. =P

***
I think I know why its hard to find that practice bf. Because my heart has long been taken even if I do not admit it. I cannot give away something I've already given to someone. It's been yours all along.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Faith in People

Last Tuesday, on my way back from Singapore to Manila, I spoke with a fellow passenger on board Tiger Airways. She is the wife of an OFW based in Singapore and was also on her way back from a vacation in the the beautiful country of Singapura. We talked about how clean Singapore was and how it was so efficient. For one thing, they don't have the traffic jams we suffer through everyday. People are very disciplined and rules are followed. She spoke of her plans to migrate there and how she did not like living in the Philippines anymore.

I have to admit, I found myself agreeing with her in a lot of areas. True, our country is pitiful at the moment. Our traffic jams are monstrous and poverty is seen everywhere. I often hear people say that our country is hopeless. Corruption is everywhere and a lot of times, the system disappoints me.

But last Sunday, I found myself realizing why I love this country despite its pitiful condition. I was on my way home from my traditional saturday gimik of badminton and tambay at Len's at around 1:30 am when my car broke down in the middle of UP Balara. My sister as usual panicked (She locked herself inside the car the entire time). We were in the middle of a curve and there was barely any light around. There was also a group of semi-drunk tambays lurking around the corner not to mention the trucks that kept on passing by. After several seconds of shock and denial, I called my own version of rescue 911 (a.k.a. peter--ang forever rescuer ko sa aking mga bloopers) who miraculously answered his phone!!!! (hahahaha!) Peter guided me over the phone on how to fix my overheated car (turned out my water pump broke down, causing the radiator to lose water). I'm not well versed in car language but Peter explained the steps well enough that I understood what to do. He was so calm over the phone that I forgot to panic as well.

After several minutes, a car stopped in front of me and a middle aged lady approached me to ask if I was okay. She just wanted to make sure I wasn't alone and that I wasn't injured or anything before she drove off. A few minutes later again, a manong who lived across the street came up to me and offered to help. He went with me to the nearby car wash to get additional water for my radiator. By then Luis also called and volunteered to bring more water (it turned out Peter called him to assist me coz he lived nearby). I declined the offer since I was able to get more water and was about to try to get the car running again. Another tricycle driver stopped and offered to help. He even called me Maam. After a few more minutes, my car finally ran again. And I drove home.

I was touched by their generosity. Imagine, I was a complete stranger yet they all took time out to help. Even the lady stranger who was probably on her way home was so nice. Even if she just stopped to see if I was okay, it was such a nice thing to do.

I called Peter when I finally got my car running again. He waited for me to get home safely and gave me more instructions on how to bring my car to the mechanic the next day (Thank you talaga partner). Even Luis waited up for me too. They are my living angels. Despite feeling extremely tired, I was actually smiling before I trekked to bed.

Sunday morning, my mom asked if I ever plan to migrate abroad. We spoke about how beautiful singapore was. But I found myself answering that despite everything, I'd still like to stay in the Philippines-- not for the traffic or the hassles of daily life--but because in our country people are basically good if you give them a chance. There are still angels in the Philippines if you take time out to look.

There are still heroes out there. We just have to keep faith. So I may be stupid for not wanting to leave just yet-- but I have now several more reasons to stay-- my two friends and the three nameless strangers who brought back my faith in the people of my home.

Friday, November 04, 2005

My Body..the weird

Had my checkup yesterday morning. My platelets are up again and so are my other blood results. That's good news given the fact that I've abused my body so badly the past couple of weeks. The gimiks of our badminton group have led us to sleep at 3:00 am almost every day for the past two weeks. Funny, that yesterday my hemoglobin count finally went normal. For months I've been getting low counts and my doctor was advising me to take some iron supplements. Ironic, kung kelan pa palagi kong puyat at lasing, dun pa siya normal.. My body.. the weird talaga.

I'm gonna miss these afternoons when school starts again. I wish it was vacation forever.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Walang Magawa kaya Survey Na lang..


Serbey again... (courtesy of Ina's blog!)
-huling taong kinausap mo?

Si Vesper.
-ano kulay ng damit mo ngayon?
Fuschia Pink and blue
-kamusta ka naman?

Eto Inaantok
-anong ginawa mo ngayong araw na to?

Sleep, eat, watch tv, check my email, surf the net...for short katamaran
-ano nasa paligid mo?

The bed
-may alaga ba kayong pusa?

Of course!!si olie, hospy and mozart.
-malamok ba dyan?

nope
-marunong kang kumanta?

medyo. carry ko naman ang kumanta ng nasa tono.
-kelan ka huling natawa ng malakas?

kagabi while out with Mark, Macre, and Peter. Walang kamatayang tawanan..
-huling tinext mo?

Lyzet
-describe yourself in ONE word?

Romantic (but extremely realistic.)
-huling ginawa mo bago matulog?

Last night? Ay umaga na pala yun.. texted Macre and Peter that I got home na..
-nakapunta ka na ba sa cebu?

yup nung 2004
-huling inutos sayo ng magulang mo?

maglinis ng kwarto
-magulo ba dyan sa lugar nyo?
define magulo? kung magulo as in makalat, yes!! but kung magulo as in may mga bwiset, peaceful kami dito.
-may bf/gf ka ba ngayon?
No comment. Or gayahin na lang natin yung friendster... It's complicated. hehehe
-nakapunta ka na ba sa malabon zoo?

When I was 12 or 13 years old.
-huli mong kinain?

Beard Papa Cream Puff
-huli mong ininom?

Water technically..Alcoholic?--san mig light nung sunday night; non alcoholic & non water?--peppermint tea ng figaro
-huli mong kinanta?

Ang dami naming kinanta kagabi eh. Fallin ata ang last song ko.
-naka-experience ka na ba ng lindol?
Yes. Several times
.-huling tumawag sayo sa phone/cp?

Si Vesper kagabi.
-huling nagbigay sayo ng testi?

Si Marekoy Jeanette
-huling binigyan mo ng testi?

I can't remember..But if you count my thank you notes here in the blog, sina peter,len, mark, macre, and the rest of our cheerers in powerade 3.
-anong oras ka natutulog?

For the last three weeks? 3am.
-nagka sore eyes ka na ba?

Nope and I don't intend to.
-anung sinusuot mo pag natutulog?

Shirt & shorts.
-may malala ka bang sakit?

kaflipan (counted ba yn?). Seriously, I have Idiopathic thrombocytopenic Purpurra. ITP for short. Bleeding disorder.
-anong ginawa mo kaninang 8am?
Tulog.
-may sarili ka bang payong?

Wala
.-kelan ka huling nagpagupit?

3 weeks ago.
-nakagat ka na ba ng aso?

nope. pusa several times
-nasan ka kaninang 3pm?

3:18 pa lang.
-kelan ka huling nakakita ng rainbow?

a couple of months ago.
-madalas ka bang magchat?

nope.
-nakitulog ka na ba sa bahay ng classmate mo?

Kina ella or kina divina lang madalas.
-fave radio station mo?

96.3 WRock
-kelan ka huling na-badtrip?

Konti last sunday pm.. but yng tunay na bad trip? 3 weeks ago ata yun. Kasi may pasaway.
-nakapunta ka na ba sa megamall?

Naku hindi pa. Syempre naman! may tao bang di pa nakakarating dun?
-nakasakay ka na ba ng pampasaherong bus?:

Yes.
-ano huli mong napanaginipan?

Secret!
-san ka ngpnta nung new year?

Sa house lang.
-may kaaway ka ba ngayon?

None that I know of.
-san mo gustong pumunta sa ngayon?

Sa mall. kahit san.
-masungit ba kapitbahay nyo?

Depende kung sino.
-anong kulay ng bag mo?

Kagabi? cream

Videoke Night

Decided to spend November 1 differently this year. Instead of staying home and lazing around the house, I went out with three friends for a night of bonding fun. I slept most of the day off due to our inuman the night before that lasted until 3:30 am (goodbye na lang inabot pa ng 20minutes). When I woke up it was already 3pm. I picked up Mark and Macre at 6:00pm and we met up with Peter in Greenhills shortly after. Driving was a breeze that we made it to Greenhills in less than 15 minutes.

The four of us had dinner together at Tender Bobs then went around the opened shops for some late night shopping. Macre and I had fun checking out The body shop's sale while the guys went to the local hardware store nearby (namiss daw kasi ni mark). We had coffee at Figaro afterwards and had some desserts. I tried their oatmeal fudge bar while macre tried the rum butter cake. The four of us were ready to go home when we decided to go videoke. Peter and Mark had a concert inside World Music Room KTV. May mga hidden talents pala! Peter dedicated "kahit maputi na ang buhok ko" (Sayang walang what a wonderful world) to Mark while Mark did his own rendition of "Quando Quando Quando". We sent MMS messages to Twitheart and Len who were in Tagaytay for a family outing. We had our usual national anthems--macre's breathless and my new version of till they take my heart away. We tried duets but ended up massacre-ring the Company's Now that I have you (mas maganda naman yung take two natin partner diba?hehehe). We were supposed to sing for only an hour but ended up staying till 1am laughing and singing our hearts out. Songs of the night include Whereever you go (twice pang kinanta ni peter!) and Sampaguita's Katawan.

Our videoke night was a different gimik for the four of us. It was actually our first gimik as a group outside the badminton court. Peter and I had fun watching Mark and Macre act so sweet with each other-- may pa HHWW pa. =) It was a nice change to our usual badminton. Of course we still had a usual set of asarans and bloopers. Who could forget our appetizer that ended up being served last at Tender Bobs or our misadventure looking for a CR (mga ayaw magbayad ng 10.00)? We also found ourselves semi-lost in the parking area of greenhills at 1:30 am because our navigator (peace!!) brought us out the wrong way (pasaway kasi, may harang na pasok pa din!). Goodbye took extra long as well-- talagang patagalan ang goodbyes natin no? We even had time to chat for one more time along Meralco Avenue before the four of us separated for good.

It was a perfect ending to a great night. Nothing was planned but we ended up doing all those fun things. I didnt even feel tired despite the fact that we've been going home in the wee hours of the morning for the past 2 weeks. And even though we see each other almost everyday an barely separate for a few hours, we never seem to run out of things to talk about.

Great food, great songs, great company-simply perfect.
***
:)

Videoke Night

Decided to spend November 1 differently this year. Instead of staying home and lazing around the house, I went out with three friends for a night of bonding fun. I slept most of the day off due to our inuman the night before that lasted until 3:30 am (goodbye na lang inabot pa ng 20minutes). When I woke up it was already 3pm. I picked up Mark and Macre at 6:00pm and we met up with Peter in Greenhills shortly after. Driving was a breeze that we made it to Greenhills in less than 15 minutes.

The four of us had dinner together at Tender Bobs then went around the opened shops for some late night shopping. Macre and I had fun checking out The body shop's sale while the guys went to the local hardware store nearby (namiss daw kasi ni mark). We had coffee at Figaro afterwards and had some desserts. I tried their oatmeal fudge bar while macre tried the rum butter cake. The four of us were ready to go home when we decided to go videoke. Peter and Mark had a concert inside World Music Room KTV. May mga hidden talents pala! Peter dedicated "kahit maputi na ang buhok ko" (Sayang walang what a wonderful world) to Mark while Mark did his own rendition of "Quando Quando Quando". We sent MMS messages to Twitheart and Len who were in Tagaytay for a family outing. We had our usual national anthems--macre's breathless and my new version of till they take my heart away. We tried duets but ended up massacre-ring the Company's Now that I have you (mas maganda naman yung take two natin partner diba?hehehe). We were supposed to sing for only an hour but ended up staying till 1am laughing and singing our hearts out. Songs of the night include Whereever you go (twice pang kinanta ni peter!) and Sampaguita's Katawan.

Our videoke night was a different gimik for the four of us. It was actually our first gimik as a group outside the badminton court. Peter and I had fun watching Mark and Macre act so sweet with each other-- may pa HHWW pa. =) It was a nice change to our usual badminton. Of course we still had a usual set of asarans and bloopers. Who could forget our appetizer that ended up being served last at Tender Bobs or our misadventure looking for a CR (mga ayaw magbayad ng 10.00)? We also found ourselves semi-lost in the parking area of greenhills at 1:30 am because our navigator (peace!!) brought us out the wrong way (pasaway kasi, may harang na pasok pa din!). Goodbye took extra long as well-- talagang patagalan ang goodbyes natin no? We even had time to chat for one more time along Meralco Avenue before the four of us separated for good.

It was a perfect ending to a great night. Nothing was planned but we ended up doing all those fun things. I didnt even feel tired despite the fact that we've been going home in the wee hours of the morning for the past 2 weeks. And even though we see each other almost everyday an barely separate for a few hours, we never seem to run out of things to talk about.

Great food, great songs, great company-simply perfect.
***
:)