Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Happy Birthday Tita Nel

We call her Tita for short-- the surrogate mom of the former tambays of Shuttles' Best Riverbanks and 1/4 of the much loved "Pamilya Badminton." And today is her birthday. I haven't seen tita in a long time since I am always moving around whenever I go back to Manila. The last time I saw her was in GBC when I popped in for a quick visit to see everyone. I still remember Tito (her better half) Noel teasing me about my weight and my partner Kei asking me what I did to balloon so much. hehe.

I rarely write about people and their birthdays in this blog but I thought I'd make an exception this time. Because today is a special day-- today is the birthday of my second mom. So I am writing this entry to tell the world how grateful I am to meet someone like her.

I first met tita in SB with tito noel. They asked me along with Vince to play with them in one of their regular games. I wasnt good yet back then. But they were geniunely nice to me. We had a great time. Then as the weeks went by I found myself spending more time with them. Eventually I became partners with Kei, their daughter and the rest was history.

Tita has this ability to make me feel loved even at my worst moment. She listens and geniunely cares for you. In one of our "talks" I remember her comforting me but at the same time she did not side with me. And that's how she is--fair. She loves all her kids (surrogate ones included) even if they bicker and fight. She will do her darnest to bridge peace but at the same time she knows when to let us fight out our own battles.

So happy birthday dear tita. I miss you lots. I miss saturdays with the rest of the pamilya. sana sa susunod kong balik, magkita kita tayong muli.

Monday, March 17, 2008

I Survived!

The hell week is over-- 37 hours of lecture in a span of 8 nonstop days of working. I survived. When my last lecture ended yesterday I felt like crying and laughing at the same time. I sat down for a few minutes and just stared at the view from my classroom at the KLTC. I actually made it. I guess it took a while for the entire reality of it all to finally sink in. It was finally over.

It wasn't my problem to bear in the first place. I could have said no. But unfortunately, I was called to service. And I guess it was just true to being the Hazel everyone know, I took on the challenge. Back in January, Angeli and I were laughing about this possibility of having the PG and UG modules clashing. But we were both confident that Reg will be here soon. Unfortunately, things didnt exactly go as planned. It was no one's fault. I guess it was fated to be that way talaga. But in the end I learned that I could do it. And hey it did make life extra exciting! haha.

After packing my bags and stuff, I went out of the building to celebrate "Freedom!" I was so happy that I couldn't care less if it was drizzling or jammed outside. I was in pure bliss. To celebrate the day of liberation, I went for an early dinner with friends at a Bakuteh stall in Jalan Imbi. We didnt get to order the pork entrails that we were craving for but what the heck. I was still happy. The food was great. We had the pork meat bakuteh, fried tofu with sweet chili sauce, veggies in garlic sauce, prawn with egg, and fried glass noodles. I didnt plan on eating much rice but it was too much to resist. So I gave in. And I deserved it. After all that strain for the last 8 days, I deserved to pig out. haha.

Going home we were all full and sleepy. We nixed the idea of dessert as we could barely walk out of the restaurant already. I think I learned a new definition of happiness in the process-- happiness is being able to laugh and relax at the end of long and tiring day.

When I got home I chatted with my sister and mom using skype. It was nice to hear their voices again. I also chatted with Wilai and Jay and other friends in passing. For the first time in 8 days I could actually chat without guilt.

It was the perfect ending to a long week.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


I am halfway through my so- called "hellweek." And I admit I'm starting to feel the fatigue. The past 4 days I've been feeling this uncontrollable twitching of my right eye. It is not painful but it is irritating and can a bit distressing. My sister tells me, it is the sign that my body is already stressed.

So far I've been surviving. I'm not performing in the usual 100% performance level that I know I could do, but I am happy that at least I am getting by.

Yesterday I had my checkup for my ovarian cysts. And as I expected there wasn't that much of goodnews. Although there was a slight decrease in the size of the cysts (all 3 of them), the rate of decrease did not go as hoped for. And after 6 months of medication, we had to decide what was the next course of treatment.

I mentioned that it was kind of expected on my part. I know my body and I know when its well and when it is not. I knew that all these craziness is taking its toll on my health. And I was just hoping (and praying) that at least it won't be something disastrous. So the little good news was still welcomed. It may not have disappeared as hoped but at least it did not increase anymore. Somehow I am also taking the side effects well and I am learning to just live with the nuisance of losing my hair a bit and going through my weight gain (but hey! I lost weight too!).

For about 2 minutes I allowed myself to feel some form of self pity. Then afterwards, as if on cue, I sighed, and went back to reality. I'm used to this kind of setbacks. I've lived through 27 years of relapses and remissions for my ITP. And with each setback I learned to pick myself up and try again.

My doctor and I discussed the pros and cons and it was agreed that I was to go on 3 more months of medication and make a last try for a cure. Who knows right, miracles might happen?

I know I need to destress my life a bit for this thing to go away. That will be my next project, once I survive this hell week.

18 hours of teaching to go.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

29 Hours to go

My countdown continues. I finished the first 8 hours of teaching today and I survived. That leaves 29 hours to go before I can rest (just for a day). The first day of a new module always give me the most anxiety. Not because I don't know the topic but because its a new group of people to meet again. I used to dread the feeling of anxiety and nervousness. I would fidget and do everything I can to take the anxious feeling away. But now I realized that I need that anxiety to perk me up. Kinda like positive stress-- it motivates me to do the work that needs to be done.

My voice nearly ran out today but I was happy nonetheless. When the clock finally struck 5:00 pm which signalled the end of the day for me, I finally felt all the tiredness that I simply pushed back throughout the day.

I relaxed a bit by watching 10000 BC. Don't know why but there was something missing in the movie that I can't seem to pinpoint. I just didnt enjoy it as much as I hoped I would. Or maybe it was simply because my mind refused to do any more thinking than it ought to.

Now I'm watching badminton. I have a few hours of rest before the craziness start all over again.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Loyalties & Hell Week

Some may think of it as an asset while others would probably think I'm slightly crazy. But I have this principle in life-- That if You hurt my friend , I'll be your worst nightmare. I am extremely loyal to my friends. I will defend them to the last breathe of my life.

So be warned.

Today I missed home again. I missed it so much that I felt like wanting to just go to the airport and grabbing the next ticket available. Only I can't. Because tomorrow is the start of hell week. I will be teaching 37 hours in 8 days. Isn't it wonderful? I call it my extra challenge for march. So who could say life is boring right?

But going back.. I guess the homesickness is linked to the entry above. I miss home. I miss the people I love back home. I miss friends whom I know won't betray me or won't talk behind my back. I miss having honest to goodness REAL people around me-- people whom I could really trust. There are a few here, Im not saying there is none. But just for today, I'd like to surround myself with the warmth of my friends back home before I go into battle tomorrow.

IF you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You're never alone you know
Just think of you friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there
With love to share
And your heart will lead you home.