This morning I was looking at an old photograph framed in front of my bedroom window. It was a picture of me and my bestfriend Peter taken last Christmas. I could not help but laugh and smile again. That was one memorable night-- the whole barkada celebrated christmas December 17th and we all had a hillarious time opening gifts (from wonder woman, to her invisible jet, to red horse, and mentos!). That was just last December. Today, those events are just but memories. Memories that will tide me over the final goodbye. It's sad in a way, knowing that we can never have those moments again. Not at this time when I am not sure if we can even call ourselves friends. What happened? I don't really know. I'm done trying to figure out the why's and what ifs. I am too tired and beaten to even fight. All I know is that once upon a time I had a best friend. We knew each other for 12 years-- from freshmen year in college till now. But now, I am not sure anymore.
I used to cry when I would look at the picture. But today, I finally found a smile. That's when I knew I finally got it-- what the poem I wish you enough hellos to last you the final goodbye meant. My bestfriend and I may have nothing but sad interactions now, but at least I still have those wonderful memories-- our day long tambays and chikkas, our wellcom adventure, bonfire grill, riverbanks foodcourt, shopping for a computer, the giraffe with two legs, our kulitans on and off court, his rescue missions to my never ending bloopers, running in the rain together, my own rescue moments to his own bloopers, our pamilya badminton moments and countless more memories I shall treasure for life to get me through the sadness.
I have no regrets as long as I have those memories. I have enough hellos to get me through the sad goodbyes. We had our good times. And maybe these are the bad times. But I will always have those memories.
They say that saying goodbye to someone you love is hard. Saying goodbye to you best friend is harder. Especially to the one who made you the happiest and saddest person at the say time. Yung bestfriend kong yan, siya ang pinaka makulit na partner sa balat ng lupa. hahaha. Siya lang din ang taong nakakita na underneath all this nerdy exterior and superwoman image, is a normal ordinary person who also needs rescuing every now and then. I wish my friend is happy today. I wish him nothing less. Despite everything, I wish him the best.
When you say goodbye to a friend, life will never be the same again. So I refuse to say goodbye, only auf wiedersehen.
Till we meet again.
I am still keeping my promise.. friends forever.