Sana...Thoughts on A Monday

I think I'm turning into a Sharon fan.. =)

Sana'Y Maghintay Ang Walang Hanggan

Doon ka, dito ako
Hindi magkatagpo
Tawag ko’y di marinig bat kay layo mo
Lapitan man ay di mo matanaw
Bingi’t bulag sa akin ay walang pakiramdam
Sayang na pagmamahal
Paano ng pag-ibig kong walang hanggan

Sanay maghintay ang walang hanggan
Hanggang makilala mo ako ang iyong mahal
Baka ko matutuhan kita’y kalimutan
Baka pangako ko’y dumating sa kailanman
Sanay maghintay ang walang hanggan
Sana ang iyong paglingap ay muli kong matikman
Subalit kong paglimot ay di mapigilan
Alalahanin mong kay tagal kitang hinintay

Narito ang puso kong inilaan sayo
Pagod na nanginginig baka magtampo
Naghihintay ang labi kong uhaw
Handog nito’y ligayang di mapapantayan
Sayang na pagmamahal
Parang hangin lamang sa iyo’y nagdaan

Sanay maghintay ang walang hanggan
Hanggang makilala mo ako ang iyong mahal
Baka ko matutuhan kita’y kalimutan
Baka pangako ko’y dumating sa kailanman
Sanay maghintay ang walang hanggan
Sana ang iyong paglingap ay muli kong matikman
Subalit kong paglimot ay di mapigilan
Alalahanin mong kay tagal kitang hinintay

***
When I first heard this song, I thought it was nice. I found mysefl being drawn to it more and more. I think I know now why. It speaks of what I feel right now. It tells my story and the story of my heart. My MA thesis was all about the songs that we sing and what it says about us. This is the song of my heart right now.

On the way home last night from another day of tournament, I had a nice talk with Luis. What made it nice was the realization that finally I made sense to someone. That someone understood, that someone listened to me without judgment.

Yes its hard sometimes, to care for someone who is consciously pushing you away. Hindi ako bato. And yes sometimes I wonder how I can choose to still care. But that's just the way I am built. Maybe that is my gift (or my curse, for some).Luis said that maybe that is my purpose in life. Maybe so.

All I know is that I am happy when I see the people I love happy. And I hurt when I see the people I love hurt. Luis teased me for over empathizing with him andPeter during their match yesterday. I actually looked more tense that them. I even threw up my entire lunch in the middle of their second set out of tension. hehehe. But that is me. I guess I am weird talaga. When they lost, my heart broke. I am just happy that they fought a good fight.

Everyday I pray that amidst everything I could still care. That whatever happens, I can still choose to love with all my heart. And I pray that in the end I'd still have a heart that can love no matter what. Sometimes I find myself crying for me and for my friend. But Luis is right, its part of the path that I chose to take. And its part of the journey of our life.

I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't know if I can still be the Hazel that dreams and hopes forever. What I know now though is that my heart will beat as long as it can and will love as long as it can love. The song is right, sana maghintay ang walang hanggan..

And I will try to be me as long as I can.
***
I just miss my friend. Sana talk to me naman. Kung galit ka, tell me and that is okay.