Victory at Powerade

They say that the third try is always the charm. We proved that right last sunday when after 3 tries and 3 different partners at powerade, I finally emerged victorious and won the level 8 women's doubles championship. It was one tournament I'll never forget. After all, it was the first time I qualified beyond the elimination round. The first time I joined powerade last march, I suffered a heartbreaking 0-3 win loss card. During the second powerade, my partner Marie and I improved my standing to 1-2. Unfortunately, pressure and better teams got to us. Now for the third edition of powerade, I teamed up with Taryn and finally emerged victorious--champs at last.

Our first game was an easy one. We easily defeated our foes 21-5. The second game was scary-- we lost a 10 point lead to trail 16-13. We had a lot of errors that our opponents took advantage of.

Fortunately for us, we were able to regroup in the end and managed to squeeze in victory at 21-19. The last elims match was another easy win. We went up against my perpetual groupmate Bing and her new partner Match. We won easily 21-6. From the semis till the finals, I think I was in a perpetual daze. I kept on throwing up in between games due to tension. I forced myself to eat endless bananas to keep my strength up. Peter sized up our semis match and told us we were up against a strong team. True enough, they were both masipag on court and nearly killed us with their crosscourt drops. Taryn was on that game and proved to be one hell of a partner when she took control of the game for us. We won and found ourselves on our second trip to the finals.
The round robin finals pitted us against my old partner Marie and Binky and another pair of ladies. We went up against Marie and Binky in the first round in a thrilling 3 set match that lasted for 1 hour and 20 minutes. Taryn and I lost the first set 12-15 but came back in the second set 15-5. It was such a thrilling match. We were running all over the court and only our will power and peter's cheers kept us going all throughout. Binky and Marie had a band of cheerers but partner Peter did his one man show for us. He gamely cheered and coached us during the match. Len also arrived in time to give us game tips. Honestly, I was lost by then. I even took a nasty fall on court. But Taryn, Peter, and Len kept me going.

During the third set, Binky collided with Marie and destroyed her racket in the process. We took advantage (it was a tournament after all) and captured the match 15-9. I was screaming all over the court with joy when we were declared winners. My hand was shaking when I signed the umpire's score sheet. Afterwards I just sat in the line man's corner and wept my heart out. Len went up to me afterwards to congratulate me.
It was heartbreaking at the same time heartwarming. I was so happy with my victory yet at the same time sad because I took victory away from my own friend and moreso my own partner. Marie was my first successful partnership and we have good chemisty. Taryn and I used to be opponents in fact. But now were the new partners. If there were some way for us to share the championship, I would have gladly chosen that

Our last finals match was an easy win compared to our game against Marie and Binky. We easily defeated our foes in straight set victories. The crowd was long gone by then. Only Peter, lory, Chenai and Malen were there.Our other friends were now concentrated on Len and Macre's own championship game (my amigas also won the championship for level 4). And thus at 6:30pm last sunday, we were officially declared champions.

Last sunday I went to olympic to play badminton. I didnt know that I'd get to play the game of a lifetime. To win the championship in front of the most important people in my life will be a moment I shall cherish forever. And to win in front of one's coach is a moment I'd gladly repeat over and over again. Our more than 1 year of training finaly paid off. Victory never tasted so sweet.

The championship would not have been possible if not for these people-- they kept me going and believed in me even when I found it hard to believe in myself. And they taught me that dreams do come true if you believe hard enough and you go for it.

1. Peter-my one man cheering squad, water boy, coach, alalay, motivator, and friend rolled into one. He's always been there for me not only during the games but also in many ways possible. This one's for you partner.
2. Len-Whatever I know about badminton, I owe it to this lady--my coach and friend who believed in me and taught me that anything is possible if I work for it.
3. Taryn- My partner and friend. Galing mo talaga partner!!
4. Lory, chenai, malen, and our other cheerers (and jeerers)-- whether on or off court, you guys cheered us and pushed us to fight on. For the rest, thank you for challenging us to go beyond our capacities and believe in our dreams
5. Our opponents especially Marie and Binky-- for giving us the fight of our lives. Great game mga marekoy.
6. Karen,Mark, Macre, George & the Pamilya Badminton- For practicing with us and for believing in us.
7. Weevens- the one who got me stated into competing in badminton tournaments--truly world class ka senyorito.

and for the all the others who I failed to mention, Maraming Maraming Salamat.

A "Tire"ring Day

The magnet of bloopers strikes again. For the nth time, I was once again rescued by partner in another one of my would be classic bloopers. I went to Len's house to accompany her in grocery shopping for our upcoming Ilocos trip. Was out of sync the whole morning due to lack of sleep and Karen's ground breaking text message. Literally I was a walking zombie. Len and Raf were telling me that I was "windang" the entire time. Even Len's parents' in law noticed how I was out of my self. Who wouldn't be?

As I was leaving Riverbanks to go to Ateneo, I noticed that my car looked slightly different. True enough it was. I had a flat tire! Imagine my shock at seeing my front tire dead flat. My hangover completely disappeared. After 30 seconds of letting it all sink in, I called Len and told her about my wonderful blooper. Len in turned texted my resident super hero/rescuer-- sino pa eh di si Tommy este Peter pala. :) The -one- who- never- text responded so quickly to Len's text that Len wanted to have mass said in his honor. hehehe.

Len and I attempted to change the tire on our own while waiting for Peter. In principle I knew how to change a flat tire. I've assisted in one before (with my other car) but theory doesn't always work perfectly. A manong came by to help us because we really looked pathetic. When he asked for the jack, Len gave him the tire wrench. The look on his face was enough to drive me to fits of laughter.

The night before Ella, Aldwin, Peter and I were even having a discussion about our spare tires and how we've never used ours. I thought it was prophetic in a way--who would have thought that I'd end up using mine just the day after. My flat tire was the perfect ice breaker for Peter and I. I wasn't sure if he would want to talk to me again yesterday after what happened earlier that morning. But he came. And again I saw how he really took time to help me in another one of my classic scrapes. Too many to mention na the times he had to rescue me from my bloopers.

After changing my tire, he went with Len and I to the vulcanizing shop because it turned out my spare was also almost flat. By then it was already past 3pm and we were both color coded for the rest of the afternoon. He could not go home anymore so we ended up going to Len's place and chatting till past 10pm. Macre and Mark wanted to play badminton but ditched plans because of court problems. Macre was so kulit over the phone (no comment lang ang masasabi ko mare.hehehe) Our other set of friends-- Ella, Lyzet and Aldwin also wanted to go out for dinner but we declined. We were both quite tamad to leave our posts. As George mentioned before, mga fixtures na kayo dito sa garden! We feasted on cheeseburgers, cheeseroll, spanish bread, junk food and our favorite choco nuts. We had a grand time teasing each other to death with our never ending stories. I don't know how we do it but we never run out of stories to tell about each other despite seeing each other almost everyday. When George arrived, the two boys had a drinking session while Len and I were the gro's. By the time I noticed it, it was already 10pm.

What can I say? The day started with a bang and ended up in bliss. I was so lost in the morning because of the shocking things that happened and lack of sleep. I was really out of it. But life has a way of giving you lemonade after picking lemons. And I realized that no matter how bad things may seem, rainbows will always appear after the rains. And once again I am shown how much I am blessed with my friends. Peter and Len really took care of me yesterday. I will always be grateful for them.

Someday when I am old and I am asked by God if I had a happy life, I'd think about yesterday and gladly say yes. Life may not be always perfect but with wonderful people in my life, it's almost heaven.

Non Negotiables

Over my 6th beer at 3:00 am this morning, birthday boy Tojie grilled me on the complexities of my so called life. Cha and I were bitching about our current life stressor--thesis and dissertation along with the pressures of getting things done by march. Tojie asked why I keep on going when I could just walk away from my self imposed "shoulds and musts". But I wish it was just that simple. I told Tojie that in my life there are certain non negotiables. The first non negotiable is that I have to finish my phd. It's not a matter of me not being happy about it. I know that I'd never be happy if I don't. And even though I know that I am at a point in my life that I question the very reason why I am doing this, I know that at the heart of it all is that I know I want it. The desire is just getting lost amidst the stress. I always keep my promises. And 12 years ago, I made that promise to myself and my family that I'd finish my phd before I die. I am just fulfilling that promise.

Tojie asked why I make such an effort to make the people around me happy. Why can't I act as if I don't care?Simple lang-- that's not the way I am built. What makes me happy is to see the people I love happy. It doesn't really matter to me if I am happy personally but seeing them happy is enough for me. Call it martyrdom or even stupidity but that's the way I am. It may sound surreal but that is definitely me. I'd do anything to see the people I love happy especially my mom and sister. So even if it kills me, I'd do my best to give them their bliss.

The other non negotiable at present is my comfort zone- the reason why I continue to smile despite the stress of it. It may be perpetually hanging at the moment, but I'd rather have that "limbo" that not have anything at all.

I don't think I'm making much sense right now. Lack of sleep. Hangover from drinking last night. Happy birthday Antover! Dapat sinabi mo agad na birthday mo para we had a party!

With Psych People at the birthday celebration of Weevens at Azzuro Bistro Makati

Kakornihan...The math side of me

Browsing through Kath's blog led me to this site...

http://www.ilstu.edu/~gcramsey/Gallery.html

For the mathematicians and statisticians in us. I admit some of the jokes are really funny especially when you understand the language. Some samples..

Old statisticians never die they just become nonsignificant.

I'm not an outlier; I just haven't found my distribution yet!

Enjoy!
***

"My life is an experiment I never had a chance to properly design." -- Diana Ballard.

And Life Goes On..

I admit, the past couple of weeks have been a struggle for me both physically and emotionally. The last weeks of school was so hectic that I barely had time to even write here in my blog. Add that to the emotional rollercoaster that I've been going through. Not that I wasn't happy--most of the time I was and I still am. But still, it was one hell of a ride.

One thing I learned though is that no matter what happens or how stressful life may be, life goes on. Even if you don't want to at times, it does go on. And even though things don't look any clearer than the way they were several weeks ago, things eventually settled down to being okay once more. It took one pair of smiles. Babaw no? But that's me, mababaw lang ang kaligayahan.

Lost in a major tournament last week but I was still happy. It was my first mixed tournament outside of the ateneo circles and the pamilya badminton group. My partner was my favorite mixed partner-peter and we breezed through our first two elims. Unfortunately, a case of bad food combinations and hangover from george's birthday did us in the next day and we lost. No one's to blame. We both had our share of errors (lots of it). We're really partners I guess-- if one is playing good, the other one is playing good as well; pero pag bad game naman, pareho na bad game. hehehe.

So now its sem break for me, but I don't really feel it. Still have a lot of lose ends to tie up before I leave for Ilocos next week and Singapore the week after.The questions still remain for now. But as I said earlier, life has to go on.
***
:)

The last days of school

Been so busy the past week trying to get everything done. Don't even have time anymore to write here. It's been one crazy week--papers to check, things to do, kids dying, badminton practice--name it.

In a few days it will all be over. I can't wait.

Eclairs & Slides

Sometimes I wish life was a simple slide--you go up and down and just play around.

Sometimes I wish I could walk away from stress and just laze around the whole day.

Sometimes I wish I could simply forget and return to the old times when I didn't care.

Sometimes I wish I could just sit forever at sweet inspirations and eat all the eclairs I could get my hands on.

Sometimes I wish I could just turn off feelings and just say to hell with everything.

Sometimes I wish life was simply simpler- when i didnt have a care in the world about you. I was okay naman then eh. Wasn't that happy but I was okay.

Pero, teka, kelan ko ba naman ginusto ang simple?

Ika nga ni Tojie at Cha, mga masochista kami eh.

The Perfect Guy

The search for love is often associated with riding a bus. You try various routes and bus lines until you find that perfect match. Sometimes you get to ride a nice airconditioned one, with all the perks that makes the ride great but sometimes the bus also breaks down and you find yourself changing a big flat tire. Or sometimes you just have to get down the bus and try something else.

And we wait for that one perfect bus to drive by.Or simply put--we wait for that perfect person to come into our lives. The great love who would rock our worlds and make us believe that happy endings do happen.

But in the course of my search for that one great love, I realized that there's no such thing as a perfect guy or a perfect match. In fact I don't think I'll ever meet him. No, I am not trying to be pessimistic but let's face it--Is there really a perfect person? Is there really someone out there who was made especially for you to make your world the perfect place?

Over late dinner yesterday I realized how perfection is achieved in the most imperfect packages. When you choose to love someone--you're choosing to LOVE that person just the way they are--perfections and imperfections included. He may actually drive you nuts but he also makes you perfectly happy. My two girlfriends Macre and Len were complaining about the weird antics of Mark and George--how they gross them out because of their weird behaviors. Yet despite that, I saw how my friends are perfectly happy with their imperfect guys. Peter and I were laughing all throughout their stories of George's car bomb explosions and Mark's fairy tale collection. My friends found their perfect match. I remember what Len told me once--that George never fails to make her laugh. While watching my two friends tease their guys to death, I found myself smiling--I'm happy for them and I wish that when my turn comes, I will also find myself perfectly content just like them.

In the movie The Perfect Man Chris Noth's character said that the perfect guy is someone who could be anywhere else in the world but chooses to be there with you because life is simply much better with you around. True. Last Friday, in the mids of my own existential anxieties and insecurities, I found myself remembering that. Sometimes I tend to doubt people especially when things don't exactly go as I planned them to be. It's a sad habit of mine but I am trying to get over it. When I remembered that line from the movie, I found myself feeling peace. He chose to be here right now and not somewhere else. And that is the only thing that matters. Love may not come in the package we idealize it to be but it is there. Sometimes we are just too blinded by our our ideals to see.

The Perfect guy does not exist. And I don't want him. I want someone who is real--someone who will drive me crazy and bug me out but will also make me feel that I am home; Someone who makes be both angry and happy and sad and joyful-- someone who will see that I am basically an ordinary person who lived an extraordinary life. Someone who will make me laugh with the most mundane statement like a whether a top is a trumpo is or whether or not a coke bottle will actually explode when we open it. Someone who is also imperfect like me.

The Perfect person is not someone who comes charging in a white horse out to rescue you from your evil stepmom and sisters. He is someone who comes slowly into your life that makes you feel that life is happy just because he is there. He is someone who makes you smile and makes you feel that it's okay to be imperfect and you don't have to be strong all the time. He is someone whom you choose to love not because he is perfect but because he is not yet you choose him still. He is someone whom you would see at his grossest moment yet you find yourself sticking it out. Likewise, when he sees you commit the most stupid blooper, he is someone who stays put.

Simply put, the perfect person is someone who makes you feel that that by being who you really are is perfection.

He is out there somewhere. Just have faith.

Have I found him? Who knows ;)

*****
The weekend is almost over again. All this idea of perfect people and perfect moments left me feeling nostalgic. The weekend is not perfect but I am perfectly happy about it.

This weekend, I cried and I laughed and I enjoyed every moment of it. Friday night, I was at weevens' party and it was great. I had a joyful time playing dress up with lyzet who was fairy godmother personified. Peter and I had an adventure searching for a dinner place in glorieta and after 4 tries we finally found a restaurant. And who could forget our misadventures in driving that night. Partner ran over a yellow road sign (yung pangharang na no parking) because he didn't want me getting wet in the rain so he drove backwards. We even entered a one way street on our way home only to realize our mistake when we saw how the arrows were pointing towards us and not the other way around. During the party, we had a lengthy discussion about fidelity and relationships. I never realized that partner has a natural flair for psychotherapy.

Yesterday was another badminton day. We played for 7 hours non stop. Peter and I practiced for this saturday's tournament. I also practiced with the girls. We were 16 in all. Despite being courtless, we actually remained one big happy family. After the games, Peter and I along with Macre and Mark trekked over to Len's and George's for our traditional after games get together. We had late dinner and got drunk with coke and sprite. Of course Mark and George couldn't fight their urge for beer so they bought some and Peter never had a chance to say no. The six of us were laughing all night that we actually forgot the time. We had to keep our voices down so as not to wake up Mommy and Daddy (George's parents) but it was such a wonderful time-- a perfect moment if there is such a thing as one. It's quite amazing how we never run out of things to talk about despite being together almost everyday. We laughed about George's skills in grossing len out and Mark's kulit behaviors. We talked about our favorite stories from Pugad Baboy to Harry Potter (arry Peter according to Mark) and comics. The gang checked out Peter's collection which I had a the honor of borrowing. It was a simple get together but was filled with much joy and laughter.

By the time we realized it it was already 3:10 am. Packing up time took another long period as saying goodbye in our group includes more chikka time. When I got home at 3:40 am I just plopped on the bed and fell asleep immediately. I was dead tired but I was perfectly happy.

The perfect weekend spent with the imperfect people. Simply bliss.