The search for love is often associated with riding a bus. You try various routes and bus lines until you find that perfect match. Sometimes you get to ride a nice airconditioned one, with all the perks that makes the ride great but sometimes the bus also breaks down and you find yourself changing a big flat tire. Or sometimes you just have to get down the bus and try something else.
And we wait for that one perfect bus to drive by.Or simply put--we wait for that perfect person to come into our lives. The great love who would rock our worlds and make us believe that happy endings do happen.
But in the course of my search for that one great love, I realized that there's no such thing as a perfect guy or a perfect match. In fact I don't think I'll ever meet him. No, I am not trying to be pessimistic but let's face it--Is there really a perfect person? Is there really someone out there who was made especially for you to make your world the perfect place?
Over late dinner yesterday I realized how perfection is achieved in the most imperfect packages. When you choose to love someone--you're choosing to LOVE that person just the way they are--perfections and imperfections included. He may actually drive you nuts but he also makes you perfectly happy. My two girlfriends Macre and Len were complaining about the weird antics of Mark and George--how they gross them out because of their weird behaviors. Yet despite that, I saw how my friends are perfectly happy with their imperfect guys. Peter and I were laughing all throughout their stories of George's car bomb explosions and Mark's fairy tale collection. My friends found their perfect match. I remember what Len told me once--that George never fails to make her laugh. While watching my two friends tease their guys to death, I found myself smiling--I'm happy for them and I wish that when my turn comes, I will also find myself perfectly content just like them.
In the movie The Perfect Man Chris Noth's character said that the perfect guy is someone who could be anywhere else in the world but chooses to be there with you because life is simply much better with you around. True. Last Friday, in the mids of my own existential anxieties and insecurities, I found myself remembering that. Sometimes I tend to doubt people especially when things don't exactly go as I planned them to be. It's a sad habit of mine but I am trying to get over it. When I remembered that line from the movie, I found myself feeling peace. He chose to be here right now and not somewhere else. And that is the only thing that matters. Love may not come in the package we idealize it to be but it is there. Sometimes we are just too blinded by our our ideals to see.
The Perfect guy does not exist. And I don't want him. I want someone who is real--someone who will drive me crazy and bug me out but will also make me feel that I am home; Someone who makes be both angry and happy and sad and joyful-- someone who will see that I am basically an ordinary person who lived an extraordinary life. Someone who will make me laugh with the most mundane statement like a whether a top is a trumpo is or whether or not a coke bottle will actually explode when we open it. Someone who is also imperfect like me.
The Perfect person is not someone who comes charging in a white horse out to rescue you from your evil stepmom and sisters. He is someone who comes slowly into your life that makes you feel that life is happy just because he is there. He is someone who makes you smile and makes you feel that it's okay to be imperfect and you don't have to be strong all the time. He is someone whom you choose to love not because he is perfect but because he is not yet you choose him still. He is someone whom you would see at his grossest moment yet you find yourself sticking it out. Likewise, when he sees you commit the most stupid blooper, he is someone who stays put.
Simply put, the perfect person is someone who makes you feel that that by being who you really are is perfection.
He is out there somewhere. Just have faith.
Have I found him? Who knows ;)
The weekend is almost over again. All this idea of perfect people and perfect moments left me feeling nostalgic. The weekend is not perfect but I am perfectly happy about it.
This weekend, I cried and I laughed and I enjoyed every moment of it. Friday night, I was at weevens' party and it was great. I had a joyful time playing dress up with lyzet who was fairy godmother personified. Peter and I had an adventure searching for a dinner place in glorieta and after 4 tries we finally found a restaurant. And who could forget our misadventures in driving that night. Partner ran over a yellow road sign (yung pangharang na no parking) because he didn't want me getting wet in the rain so he drove backwards. We even entered a one way street on our way home only to realize our mistake when we saw how the arrows were pointing towards us and not the other way around. During the party, we had a lengthy discussion about fidelity and relationships. I never realized that partner has a natural flair for psychotherapy.
Yesterday was another badminton day. We played for 7 hours non stop. Peter and I practiced for this saturday's tournament. I also practiced with the girls. We were 16 in all. Despite being courtless, we actually remained one big happy family. After the games, Peter and I along with Macre and Mark trekked over to Len's and George's for our traditional after games get together. We had late dinner and got drunk with coke and sprite. Of course Mark and George couldn't fight their urge for beer so they bought some and Peter never had a chance to say no. The six of us were laughing all night that we actually forgot the time. We had to keep our voices down so as not to wake up Mommy and Daddy (George's parents) but it was such a wonderful time-- a perfect moment if there is such a thing as one. It's quite amazing how we never run out of things to talk about despite being together almost everyday. We laughed about George's skills in grossing len out and Mark's kulit behaviors. We talked about our favorite stories from Pugad Baboy to Harry Potter (arry Peter according to Mark) and comics. The gang checked out Peter's collection which I had a the honor of borrowing. It was a simple get together but was filled with much joy and laughter.
By the time we realized it it was already 3:10 am. Packing up time took another long period as saying goodbye in our group includes more chikka time. When I got home at 3:40 am I just plopped on the bed and fell asleep immediately. I was dead tired but I was perfectly happy.
The perfect weekend spent with the imperfect people. Simply bliss.