Halfway

I am halfway through my so- called "hellweek." And I admit I'm starting to feel the fatigue. The past 4 days I've been feeling this uncontrollable twitching of my right eye. It is not painful but it is irritating and can a bit distressing. My sister tells me, it is the sign that my body is already stressed.

So far I've been surviving. I'm not performing in the usual 100% performance level that I know I could do, but I am happy that at least I am getting by.

Yesterday I had my checkup for my ovarian cysts. And as I expected there wasn't that much of goodnews. Although there was a slight decrease in the size of the cysts (all 3 of them), the rate of decrease did not go as hoped for. And after 6 months of medication, we had to decide what was the next course of treatment.

I mentioned that it was kind of expected on my part. I know my body and I know when its well and when it is not. I knew that all these craziness is taking its toll on my health. And I was just hoping (and praying) that at least it won't be something disastrous. So the little good news was still welcomed. It may not have disappeared as hoped but at least it did not increase anymore. Somehow I am also taking the side effects well and I am learning to just live with the nuisance of losing my hair a bit and going through my weight gain (but hey! I lost weight too!).

For about 2 minutes I allowed myself to feel some form of self pity. Then afterwards, as if on cue, I sighed, and went back to reality. I'm used to this kind of setbacks. I've lived through 27 years of relapses and remissions for my ITP. And with each setback I learned to pick myself up and try again.

My doctor and I discussed the pros and cons and it was agreed that I was to go on 3 more months of medication and make a last try for a cure. Who knows right, miracles might happen?

I know I need to destress my life a bit for this thing to go away. That will be my next project, once I survive this hell week.

18 hours of teaching to go.