Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Burning Out

It's been only a week since school started and I am slowly yearning for vacation already. I'm starting to feel burned out. And to think I haven't even reached the second chapter of my lectures! This sem is a particularly tough one. I have to (note: have to) finish all that needs to be done--my internship and my dissertation by march. How do I do that I have no idea.

Since Monday I've been suffering from migraines. This is the first time in years since I suffered continous migraines. The last time was when I was 16. I've also become quite irritable. And frankly, there are times when I just want to lock myself up in my room and do nothing.

Two things make me happy these days-- badminton is one. It is the sanity pill in my yucky lifestyle. Even if I feel physically drained, it keeps me up. At least on court, I know I could easily laugh at my errors and try and try again.

I find myself often thinking how I know what would make me happy yet I can't seem to find the guts to go for it. Sometimes I think Lyzet is right-- I'm becoming a turtle with no direction. Argghhh!! I think the problem is I know that if I go for the things that make me happy, the people I love would end up being disappointed with me. And I don't know if I can take that. The psychologist is fast becoming neurotic. hahaha.

The second thing that make me happy is not a thing but a person-- You. Kahit nakakainis ka minsan, you keep me smiling. Sana lang alam mo yun.

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