Friday, July 25, 2008

Mushy Movie Night

"Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you" -Gerry Kennedy (P.S. I love you the movie)

I was talking to a friend the other night while watching a movie I recently downloaded. It was an old film starring Hilary Swank and that guy from 300. Basically in the film HS lost her husband and every month for a year he sends her letters telling her how to move on and live a life without him. It's absolutely mushy i know. But there was something about the film that moved me. Especially when Gerry sent his last letter. I was really crying after Holly read the line "Dont be afraid to fall in love again." My friend laughed at my admission of being mushy again. Imagine me sitting infront of the pc bawling my eyes out hahaha. It's been a while..

The film reminded me of our fear of getting hurt. Life isn't always about happy endings and for some it could be one sad goodbye after the other. And sometimes, those hurts pile up until they reach a point when we become so afraid to even try. We become cynical and closed to even the possibility of investing in our feelings once more. And that to me is the saddest possible thing that could happen.

So I always remind myself of that-- that I shouldn't be afraid to care or to risk. The chance of laughing and smiling like crazy once more is enough to warrant taking a leap of faith every now and then. Gerry was right. If we fear making mistakes then we are in the wrong species. ("Then you're in the wrong species, love. Be a duck")

My kapitneighbor ate billie told me a while ago how I'm so easy to read and how I light up everytime I am happy. And now I realize that I want that light to always shine on me.

Coz I deserve that kind of glow.

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