Last night I celebrated noche buena with the Angeles Family. Funny how a bunch of strangers turned out to be almost family. They had gifts overflowing under their christmas tree. Laughter was everywhere that I found myself reminiscing of the olden days when my christmasses were filled with such laughter as well. When I was a kid we used to go home to Davao for Christmas and I get to bond with my cousins there. Papa Ernie used to dress up as Santa using giant red japanese papers and cotton balls for a beard. Then he would distribute our gifts one at a time much to our gleeful delight.
Gone are those days. We're all old now. Most of my cousins are either abroad or living far away. There are no more family reunions at christmas. And with the events of the past two days,it didn't sound like it was going to be a gleefully delightful xmas as well.
But nevertheless I find myself grateful this Christmas. I realized that I may have lost the old christmas traditions that characterized my youth but I also gained a lot of blessings in the process. And for that I am grateful
This year I received so much blessings that I don't think i'll ever thank enough. I won my first championship in badminton despite losing my racket.
I passed my phd comps. I even got to get off my medications after more than two years. For the first time since Feb 18, 2002 I am actually normal.
I gained a new tropa this year too-- a tropa that would change the way my tths life goes. But perhaps the greatest change and blessing of this year was the friendship I found along the way.
This year I found a friendship that changed the way I viewed life.
I found a friend who helped me see things in different ways that I can never imagine. This year life became so different but a lot lot happier. I used to be trapped in a world of books and make believe. I didn't have much of a life. I was happy but there was something missing. But this year it became different.
This year I found a friendship that opened a door of adventures and wonder. This year, I found a friendship that made life's struggles worth it-- I found someone who could make me smile even at my most darkest moments; someone who made me the happiest and saddest person at the same time-- someone who made me feel that its okay to be ME and someone who made it appear that it didnt matter whether I had a phd appended to my name or not. Someone actually saw me beyond the perfect persona I tried to create and saw the ordinary girl that lurks behind it all. What made it perfect was the fact that with him, it felt okay just be that ordinary girl.
This year I found a friendship that has lasted more than a decade of life changes and growing up. We both grew up this year. In a way, we both refound ourselves despite the messes we went through. And through it all, we were there for each other. Throughout our kulitans and asarans, I found my bliss. And in the process I found me. Through this blessing I realized that what makes me happy is what matters though it may sound crazy to some. And for the first time in my life I finally took the courage to follow my heart. It may sound complicated to some and its actually driving some people nuts but it's actually a simple relationship-- a simple friendship made special by two kindred spirits.
That is the blessing of this christmas. This Christmas and this year, I finally found where I belong. And whereever it may lead, I am just happy that life chose me to be given such a wonderful blessing.
If I were to live 2005 again, I'd choose no other way. I'd still choose the same rugged paths. I wouldn't have 2005 any other way.