I feel blue today. Last night as I was talking to Ella we both wondered how we never seem to get it-- how we always end up finding ourselves in the same situation over and over again. I don't know if we're just too stubborn or just plain stupid.
I am a hopeless romantic. Admittedly, I am a sucker for optimism. But there are times when I just feel its hard to remain one. Sometimes I wish I could just turn feelings on and off at a whim. Maybe then it would be easier. Maybe then it wouldn't matter so much.
I know I shouldn't wallow in self pity. I have so much going on for me. But in the end, I'd gladly walk away from it all, for that one thing that truly matters...
Sige na nga tama na ang pageemote...
***
Found this nice love poem by the eternal romantic Pablo Neruda. I wish I always have his faith.
I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
-Pablo Neruda
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