Thursday, December 21, 2006

Morning Walks

Yesterday a friend of mine told me that I was different from the girls he knew here coz I actually preferred walking to taking the bus. We were walking back home from the LRT station after spending the day at KLCC and the embassy. It got me thinking-- why do i like walking? I have to confess, I didn't do much walking back in Manila since I have my own car there. I usually just enjoy walking when I'm out of town.

For the past week, I've been doing just that- instead of taking the bus to the LRT station, I just make it my morning habit to walk. Sometimes if I'm up to it, I also do it in the afternoon on my way back to my room. And I really like it. I agree with Jesse that walking helps clear the mind (mukhang seryoso naman siya nung sinabi niya to hahaha). This morning as I was walking to the station, I realized how relaxing it was compared to impatiently waiting for the bus. I was even humming a song while walking not minding that I was crossing a busy road. And since it was still quite early, it wasn't hot and there was no smog in the air.

I realized then that walking gives me back my sense of lost control since moving here. Depending on the bus and the train can be quite frustrating at times. Walking on the other hand is purely under my control. I control how fast or how slow my pace would be. And for sure I know I'll get to my destination in the time I want to be there. And though I still prefer to walking with someone than being by myself, walking alone is not as lonely as sitting inside a room by my lonesome self.

When I'm walking, I don't feel so alone anymore.

one of the gifts of my morning walks is the realization that I finally understood why you had to go. and i finally found the guts to finally say the final goodbye. Now I can finally say that I've happily moved on. I don't think of you much now. And when I do, it doesn't hurt as much now. I can even laugh at our old jokes and the past. I just remember the good times now. The bad times have been forgotten--chased away by the early morning winds that calmed my spirit.

The giraffe may still have two legs for me but I don't cry anymore.I've got others to share the joke with. Thank you for the memories. And thank you for teaching me that I am much more stronger than I can ever imagine. And that I can let you go without saying that I regretted ever knowing you. You will always have that place in my heart but now you are just a memory I'll cherish. I'm still singing the songs I sang for you last year but it's a lot different now. I'm actually happy when I sing them. I'm okay now. I am happy. I hope you are too. Merry christmas partner.

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