I'm way too sleepy to think of posting in my blog at this time but it has always been my tradition to write a yearend journal entry. Every year I try to remember the year that was and the lessons I've learned the past 12 months.
Year 2006 is a year of change.It is a year of heartbreak and loss; a year of joy and laughter. For short, 2006 is a well lived year.
There are years where you just feel the months go by without anything happening. 2006 wasn't like that. Every month something exciting was bound to happen--be it happy or sad and with each hello and goodbye, I learned a lot. I think I learned more about myself this year than in any other year that came and went by. I learned to brave and to be strong this year. And most of all I learned to let go.
The first three months were the challenge months for my studies. I struggled to finish my dissertation much to the dismay of my mom. I know I disappointed a lot when I didn't make it to the graduation rites but what the heck, I finished it. I got to defend last March 17. I finally earned the much awaited PhD. Earning that was a great feat if you add on the fact that the person who was supposed to keep me grounded and sane through it all broke my heart into a million pieces. So despie nursing a heartbreak I had to struggle to move on.
2006 also marked the year of badminton. I played more hours in badminton this year than in any other year. Although my tournaments were reduced as compared to 2005 I still managed to join quite a number. I won more this year which made it more special. I finally won at the All Jesuit Badminton Tourney in July after 3 tries. I changed partners too this year-- first kei and I became ladies doubles partners then in mixed it was luis who became my new partner. My two partnerships proved to be lucky ones as we won quite a handful of tourneys. My most unforgetable win? Go Badminton last September. How we trained for that tourney will always be memorable to me. And I know partner luis won't forget it either kasi dun sila nagkabalikan ni Byo.
Aside from the winnings 2006 will also mark the year of my retirement from active play. Sad to say I had to stop for a while to move to a new adventure in life called Malaysia. Moving to Malaysia stopped my badminton addiction since I don't get to play as much as I want to there now. The first few weeks I was so bummed about this but now I realized it was the best time to retire. I retired at the top of my game. I retired knowing that I gave badminton my heart and soul. I retired playing the game of my life.
Then came Malaysia. Who would have thought back in January that I'd end up working in a different country? It was an application that started out as a joke and ended with serious 3 year contract and a chance to start anew. I admit my reasons for applying were quite superficial but looking back I guess I needed that reason to push myself to be braver. I was totally lost in my comfort zone and although it was quite comfortable, life was dull.
When I left last november I didnt know that I could last the first three weeks. I had my plane ticket home ready--I just wanted to give it a chance. I cried all the way from Manila to KL. It was so scary leaving the only life I've known.
Four weeks weeks later I'm here in Manila preparing for my return to KL on tuesday. I'm actually looking forward to going back. I belong there now. The girl who used to just sit back and be part of the crowd is now out in the open stage.
Perhaps what I'll remember most about 2006 is the fact that this year I lost one of my bestfriends. I've known him for 12 years--since first year highschool. But somehow fate has decided to end our friendship. There were times that I blamed myself for losing him but now looking back, I realized we just both didn't want to hold on. Friendship takes two people to make it work and I guess, my faith in him wasn't enough for him to stay. I'll always miss the old Peter who used to spend hours chatting with me about everything but I've learned that in life you don't always get what you pray for and in the end you learn to be contented with the memories. No one can take away all those beautiful memories away from me. Despite everything I am still grateful to Peter-- he pushed me to be braver than ever. Without him I wouldn't be where I am today. He gave me the best gift of all-- the chance to do something brave and believe in myself. He helped me find the courage to find and love myself again. For that I shall always be grateful.Thank you Peter. And I'm sorry for not being the friend you hoped that I would be. Sana someday we can be friends again.
With every loss they say, something is gained. I lost my bestfriend and half of my friends but I also gained new friends and new people to love. I met so many new people and got to know a bigger world. Di lang pala sa badminton umiikot ang mundo. At may iba pa palang mga taong pwedeng mahalin bukod sa iilan.
I still havent completely figured out why God let all these things happen but I am not keen on questionning his wisdom. I learned to find my peace in whatever life will throw my way.
In a few hours 2006 will end. I will say hello to 2007. I wonder what lies ahead in the coming year. I hope that it will be as exciting and as well lived as this year. kung pwede less heartaches and more joys but kung di pwede sana at the end of 2007 I still have the same faith in people that I have with me now.
Auf wiedersehen 2006.
Guten Tag 2007!
Manigong bagong taon sa lahat!