Wandering

We are wanderers in this journey of life.

Sometimes I ask myself what is the purpose of my life. Why am I here? And what I am meant to be? Sometimes the answers come clear to me (just like in that email survey. =P) but most of the time I still wonder, who am I meant to be?

I know I've accomplished a lot and I've been through a lot. Been through hell and back and back to hell and back again countless of times. I've cried, I've laughed, felt loved and gave love. I've lived. Yet I know there's something more out there. Has to be.

Last night I was talking to my friends and someone told me that I don't really have a say about relationships for the reason I've never been in one (ouch!). Yeah I know but it doesnt mean I've never loved. Some question my ideal optimism at times and they say its textbook. I don't know and I beg to disagree.

What I do know is that I know what its like to love and lose someone and learn to pick yourself up again. I've been a trooper in this relationship circle. I will admit that I don't know a lot of things when it comes to love relationships (I'm pathetic at mine!) but it doesnt mean I dont try. And to correct the notion that I am picky and I intimidate the men in my life- I do not (not intentionally that is). This is me. I have loved (unfortunately, more often, was not requited) and I have turned away those I know I don't have feelings for (honesty is the best policy)..

Underneath all these achievement hoolahbalooh is just an ordinary girl (narinig ko na ata to!hehe!). And that there are some things that really matter to me more than people actually know.

I'd like to believe that true love still exists. And that no matter how jaded the world has become, I'd like to believe in that truth. Call me eternally optimistic or even a crazy little girl but I'd rather believe in that one craziness that spend my life thinking that things will never work out.

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why do you mean so much to me? what made you matter?
ewan.