Last night I realized how sometimes even the people whom you are nice to can end up stabbing you in the back. I was angry but more than that hurt beyond words. I cried in my car thinking what I actually did wrong to deserve such treatment. But then I realized I also have a choice-- I can choose to be angry at them too or I could choose to be gracious and be nice. I chose the latter. There's a saying that when someone throws rocks at you, throw them bread in return. It may sound pathetic but last night I realized it's value. To seek revenge would mean agreeing to the bad things said about me despite having done nothing wrong.
I don't expect a long life and I want to spend what little life I have left to being with the people who love me and trying to make a difference in this world. I still believe that the world is full of good people and people are basically good if you allow them to be.And sometimes people hurt you because they know no other way.
Last night I realized how loved I am by people whom I now have the honor of calling as sisters--Macre, Len,and Karen-- friends whom I shall hold dear for the rest of my life. I didnt expect them to come and defend me but they did. And they made me feel that I am still worthy despite what others may think. Even Peter, George, and Mark helped make me feel better. I was touched by what the guys said to me and how they patiently listened to my side without judgment. I don't know how would I be able to smile last night without them.
When you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You're never alone you know
Just think of your friends, the one's who care
They all will be there, with love to share
And your heart will lead you home.
I found home in you.