I'm starting to discover some changes in my life. Maan is right, we can't simply keep on doing the things we used to do. Somehow they change us. And you don't even realize it at first but then when it hits you--you realize that change isn't so bad after all. I'm learning more about myself these days. And though I am quite confused most of the time, I relearning to get to know myself again.
I used to be really either too soft or too bratty. I was never in between. Either I give in or I am too harsh. Most of the time I give in. I hate confrontations and fights. My friends attest to that. But now I'm starting to be just open to possibilities.
Sometimes I am still amazed about the things I can do now. I can't believe I could really be this independent. And whereas before I was so concerned about what others might think, now honestly I'm learning to just rely on my own conscience.
Is this the sign that I am aging? haha. I hope not. Sana eto yung tinatawag nilang wisdom.
Several months ago my friend Karen stopped playing badminton to spend time with her popsy. We all thought it was a wrong move in a way--giving up your game for someone. I admit I was even one of those who thought it was crazy for her to do so. Looking back, I realized Karen wasn't crazy for giving it up--she was brave enough to follow her heart. And now when I think of what she did I can't help but admire her. It took guts for her to do so. And I think I finally understood why she did it.
It takes sacrifice and a lot of adjustment to build something. The more you get to know someone, the more you realize that you are essentially different. But what makes it work is the effort you put in getting past those differences. So you learn to adjust while maintaining a sense of who you really are. And when you see that the other also makes the effort to adjust to your own quirks, that's when you know that you're very lucky to have found someone willing to put up with your stupid bloopers and bratty moments.
That's when the frustrations and tiredness disappear and the smiles return to your face.