Monday, August 15, 2005

No other Way.. Some thoughts on love (again)

Found this at Ina's blog.. Simply beautiful..

I do not love you... by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
I've always believed that when you love someone, you love that person enough to want that person to be happy, even if that happiness is away from you. Pablo Neruda captures that essence in his beautiful poem. Mind you I'm not the poetry type of person but when I saw this at Ina's blog, I couldn't help but sigh and whisper to myself-- how true it is.
Over the past few days three friends told me about their ill fated heart affairs. Two girlfriends talked about their were just friends (forever) relationships. One has been carrying a torch for this guy for more than 15 years already (and he still hasn't noticed a thing-- another "moron" to borrow Karen's words) while my other friend gets a barrage of songs everyday from this guy whom we don't know whether he's a frustrated songhists collector or a true blue torpe. Another friend told me how she felt so stupid because she fell for this guy who turned out to be a frog instead of a prince. Each of those stories brought to light the various faces of love-- how not all love stories end with the fairy tale endings we're all used to. And though it can be frustrating, it's part of the never ending cycle of loving, learning, letting go, moving on, and learning to love once again.
Once upon a time I also fell in love and just like what Len has been telling me all these weeks, sarap akong batukan. I don't know if I've never learn or I'm simply stupid. But as the poem goes, I know no other way. And even if that story still remains hanging, I find myself feeling extremely grateful because I have loved and I am loved. I know in his own way he cares. And though I may not mean anything to him, he means the world to me.

So I love you because I know no other way.


Anonymous said...

Mare, I love your blog today. I found it hard to choke back the tears coz I feel the pain, the yearning and the unselfish thought of loving someone unconditionally. I can so relate...


Hazel said...

Thanks mare...I wish I could be really that unselfish. But I know tao lang tayo. =)

Kung alam lang nila noh how lucky they are? We actually waste time pining for them in our blogs?! hahaha.